(Minghui.org) At the beginning of the new year, some fellow practitioners and I started a new project. My responsibility is coordination and technical work. In the past, I was always unforgiving and always arguing regardless of whether I was right or wrong. After taking on the coordination work, through solidly looking inside and cultivating myself, I was able to gradually eliminate some attachments and improve my xinxing.
Many older practitioners joined the project, and I had to help them install systems and software remotely. Often they couldn’t follow my instruction to find where to click on the screen. It took a long time to get through the installation process. At first, because of my xinxing issues, I couldn’t handle it calmly. Sometimes I had to turn off the microphone and adjust my mentality before proceeding.
However, I gradually eliminated the attachments of impatience and self-interest by constantly looking inside and cultivating myself. I was able to pay close attention to every thought I had, every word I used, and every action I took. As soon as I had a bad thought, I tried to immediately eliminate it. Now, I’m able to help multiple practitioners at the same time calmly and efficiently.
Someone I worked with on other projects later told me that his first thought was not to join when he learned I was the coordinator of the project. After he looked into the security aspects of the project and determined it was safe, he agreed to join. At first, he was still hesitant and observed how I was doing things.
After several incidents, he said he was amazed by how much Dafa can change people. He said, “In the past, when you were right, you would be totally unforgiving and relentlessly go after any one, and when in the wrong, you would still argue anyway. But now, you can calmly face all kinds of criticism from everyone without saying a word. I can see that you are really solidly cultivating yourself.”
I often needed to do both coordination and technical work at the same time. For some things, I had to immediately help practitioners resolve their issues. After a while, their dependence on me fueled my mentality of validating myself, causing the attachment to grow to the point where I positioned myself high above everyone else.
An example of this is a small disagreement I had with someone in the project. Her words were very sharp. She believed that my purpose was to show off and get praise from fellow practitioners. Of course I denied it. But later, when another practitioner praised one of my methods, saying it was better than hers, I felt immediate pride, “Yes, I just have better ideas than you!” I seized this thought immediately. I looked into it and found all kinds of attachments. I finally realized I had a strong self-interest and desire to validate myself.
I really wanted to get rid of this mentality, but it was very hard, and I felt helpless. I asked a fellow practitioner if he had time to talk with me about an issue of importance. Even though he was busy, he agreed. I told him I realized I had a bad mentality, that it was very strong, and I really wanted to get rid of it. When I said these words, I couldn’t help but cry. Then I slowly told him how this mentality played out while I was doing the project. Strangely, after I finished talking, I felt really relaxed. The mentality of validating myself had completely disappeared.
I realized that we should not try to cover up any human notions and attachments we have. We should not be afraid to ask fellow practitioners for help and expose our attachments in the process. In fact, when we openly talk about our attachments in front of them, we are actually eliminating and disintegrating the bad substances behind them.
In the past, I was always busy doing technical work, and there were always two things I was not able to break through. One was not doing the exercises enough. The other was that I could not clarify the truth face to face. After changing to a new environment, I told myself that I must make breakthroughs in these two aspects. On the first couple of days, I was able to get up to do the exercises. After a few days, I could not get up again. I realized that because I had not been diligent in doing the exercises for a long time, the laziness had been greatly nourished in my body.
I shared this with a fellow practitioner in my project team. I told her that if I got up at 3 a.m. to do the exercises, I would get very sleepy when studying the Fa and be sleepy and tired all day long. The practitioner said, “Isn’t this your notion? Isn’t this a demon tricking you? Because you accepted this kind of thoughts, these low level laws will control you.” I agreed.
That evening, when we shared among a group of fellow practitioners, someone asked me whether I was still doing the exercises ever day. I exposed my situation, sharing that I could not persist in doing them during the past few days. I also shared what the fellow practitioner told me earlier. The following morning, I got up on time to do the exercises, and during the day I was not sleepy at all. From then on, I was able to the exercises daily.
To cover up my fears and attachments, I told myself I didn’t need to clarify the truth to people face to face because I provide technical support. However, there are times when we meet people, and we need to clarify the truth to them. Because of my fears and feeling that I don’t know how to clarify the truth, I missed many of these people who I was supposed to save. I often felt sad and disappointed in myself. I was determined to break through this. On the day I began to consistently do the exercises, I also finally defeated these fears and started to clarify the truth over the phone.
I first searched the Minghui website for articles and podcasts about clarifying the truth. I picked out relevant items from each one. In the process of clarifying the truth, I tried to always to maintain a compassionate heart. I constantly told myself to not be moved by any reactions or responses from ordinary people. My goal was to save them. I continued to adjust my opening statements and continued exploring what to say. Gradually, there were sentient beings who agreed to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its youth organizations. From now on, I will persist at clarifying the truth on the phone.
In today’s society, people’s minds are becoming more and more complicated, and people’s morals are declining at a very fast rate. Only Falun Dafa is a true pure land. As we cultivate ourselves, Dafa practitioners get purified both physically and mentally. As there are more people practicing Falun Dafa, the moral standards of human society will continue to rise. I believe that it can be said that Falun Dafa is the only hope for human beings to be saved! I hope that everyone can realize the lies instilled by the CCP, recognize the beauty of Dafa, approach and understand Dafa, and walk into Dafa cultivation.