(Minghui.org) Greetings, Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
Last year I returned to cultivation in Dafa, and I feel like a new practitioner. I had many interfering thoughts before I started to write this article. I wanted to wait until I had a breakthrough in cultivation so that I would look better to other practitioners – this was a show-off mentality. I was afraid of losing face if I didn’t write well – this is a manifestation of my vanity.
I began practicing Falun Dafa with my grandparents when I was just over two years old. The entire family watched Master’s video lectures after dinner and then we did the exercises together. Because I was so young I didn’t finish reading Zhuan Falun – but I often watched lecture videos and listened to the audio lectures. The Fa seeds were already planted in my little heart. I had only one thought, that Falun Dafa is good. I didn’t have any doubts even when the persecution blanketed China.
I stopped cultivating due to my laziness and playfulness after I left China. I printed the whole book of Zhuan Falun on my school printer. I kept it with me for 15 years. To my regret, I didn’t keep cultivating or reading the Fa, even though I had the book. In a blink of an eye, I wasted 15 years. I slid down in ordinary society. I showed off, dressed fashionably, used dirty words, learned to ride a motorcycle, and smoked. I didn’t behave like a gentle girl. I felt more and more lost.
I saw practitioners practicing the exercises in the park many times after I found a job in Sydney. Every time I saw them, I thought, “Next time, I will go and ask if I can join them.” But I never did. It might be because I still had the wish to cultivate, that Master led me back into cultivation.
One day last year when I woke up from a nap I heard a voice say, “It is time for you to cultivate.” “Ok,” I replied without any hesitation. I got up and started looking for Dafa books. I learned the five sets of exercises from the online video and took out my copy of Zhuan Falun. I read the Fa and searched for the Falun Dafa website. I clicked the link and found that there were so many of Master’s lectures. I was very surprised because I only knew one book – Zhuan Falun – from my childhood. I started reading Master’s lectures given in different cities, and his new articles. I felt truly excited.
This was during the first pandemic lockdown. I stayed home and read the Fa all day long. My feeling was just as Master said,
“With Falun Dafa they find answers to their many lifelong questions, and it’s only natural that they would be excited by all the new insights they gain.” (The Eighth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
As I studied the Fa more, I felt an increasing urgency to save people. It was time for me to step out after I cultivated by myself at home for several months. It was time for me to go out to help save people and fulfill my historic vows. I contacted the local assistant. My profession was graphic design. I could utilize my skills if a media project had a position for me. But because I came back to Dafa so late, I was fine with simply distributing newspapers.
My first experience of distributing materials was unforgettable. I had to cover a relatively large area and I walked 3 hours. I wore a pair of comfortable shoes. I thought it shouldn’t be a problem because I usually walked a lot anyway. Unexpectedly, my feet hurt when I’d just covered half of the area. My feet blistered and every step was excruciatingly painful. It was strange, because I never had this problem before. I realized it must be a test to see if I could persevere. I recited Master’s poem as I walked:
“A Great Enlightened One fears no hardshipHaving forged an adamantine willFree of attachment to living or dyingHe walks the path of Fa-rectification confident and poised”(“Righteous Thoughts and Righteous Actions,” Hong Yin II)
It was still very painful. I laughed at myself for talking about saving sentient beings when I could not bear a little pain. I am a practitioner; the pain is nothing and I would keep going.
I persevered and finished the rest of the area. Looking back, I understood that it must be a test by Master to see how determined I was because this was the first time that I stepped out to validate the Fa. Since then when I distributed newspapers, I walked briskly no matter how far it was, whatever the road conditions, or what kind of shoes I wore. My steps were light and I was not tired at all.
Soon my hope to join a media project came true. A new video project team for Sound of Hope was recruiting a video editor. I was fortunate to join this team, and have been with them for over a year. The subscribers to our channel jumped from a few thousand to over a hundred thousand. But in the beginning the numbers remained low. I became anxious. I stared at the data every day and was excited when the viewers went up even a little bit.
One day another practitioner told me, “Master arranges it according to the level of our xinxing. If our level is elevated, we will certainly have more viewers.” I thought of Master’s Fa,
“The level of your energy will rise in proportion to your character. It will always be capped by your character, however, and there are no exceptions to the rule.” (The First Talk, Zhuan Falun)
I stopped being obsessed with the data.
At the beginning of the project, I was full of myself and didn’t take criticism well. I felt that I was a professional with many years of experience in my area. When I did the design, I had the mentality of an everyday person and tried to align my work with modern standards. I forgot that modern morality and artistic appreciation were deviated. As a Dafa practitioner, I should lead people back to tradition.
When other practitioners referred me to other designs done by influential online designers, I was not convinced. I thought I knew better and I was not willing to go in that direction. I wanted to establish my own style and thought a designer should have their own taste. Gradually, I realized that my mentality was not correct.
I tried to change myself and accept other people’s suggestions but I still thought I was right. A certain incident helped me to completely let go of this attachment.
One day a practitioner asked me to update a poster for the petition for an outdoor display board. I changed the poster according to my ideas and sent it to him. He replied a week later saying that my work needed a lot of adjustment. He asked if I could bring my computer and meet him in the city so that I could make the changes with him.
This was beyond my forbearance although outwardly I remained calm. I was angry in my heart. I immediately refused and said that I didn’t have time. When I calmed down, I knew that I was not right. My attitude was not good. I looked within and told myself that it was for saving sentient beings and I shouldn’t refuse him simply because I didn’t want to be bothered going into the city.
The practitioner asked me again the following week if I could meet him. This time I agreed and made an appointment at noon on Sunday. I had Fa study in the afternoon, so I wanted to finish it quickly. When I arrived, I saw him practicing the exercises. He was doing the last movement of the second exercise. I thought that he would stop and talk to me. He stopped and chatted for a few seconds and then continued doing the exercises. I got impatient, although I waited until he finished.
We sat down at a café and started to change the design. I thought he would tell me what to change and I could leave and make the changes at home. Instead, he instructed me to change the design bit by bit and asked me to move this a bit to the left and move that a bit to the right. I reminded myself to forbear, but I didn’t look within. By the time we finished I had to rush to Fa study. I was not happy at all and full of complaints.
He drove me to Fa study. I felt uncomfortable and didn’t say anything. I tried to look inward and asked myself why I felt uncomfortable and what attachments I needed to let go of. But another thought came into my mind: “I was not wrong. I traveled so far to help him. I have better artistic taste than he does. Yet he still made trouble for me and ignored the time.” My positive and negative thoughts were fighting with each other in my mind.
At that moment I heard a loud “bang.” My head hit hard against the seat. I saw our car drive through the red light. I was shocked. The practitioner said that we were hit from behind. I realized that we had a car accident.
My mind suddenly became clear as if the moment my head hit the seat all my negative thoughts flew out of my mind. I immediately looked within and found my strong ego of not taking criticism, being full of myself, looking down on others, my show-off mentality and vanity. All these attachments were mixed together and made me feel uncomfortable and dragged me down from making improvements.
I felt that this accident was a grave warning from Master. I was very clear that I must let go of these attachments.
Master said,
“It’s not as if only when your technology is adopted will you improve in cultivation. Working well with and cooperating with others, and working together to do a good job with the tasks at hand, that is how a cultivator should be, and that is first and foremost.” (Teachings at the Conference in Los Angeles)
In subsequent projects I gradually placed less importance on my own suggestions. I focused on how to do a better job using my ability while complying with other practitioners’ suggestions and achieved good results by doing so. Our channel became more and more popular. Our team members became increasingly mature in cultivation. Everyone tried hard to improve themselves and harmonize the whole body.
The pandemic became worse in Sydney in May. My boss decided to close the company and went back to China. I lost my job as a result. I was calm and understood that my project team might need me more. Master must have arranged for me to do the project full time. I felt happy because I could study the Fa with the team every morning and I had more time for cultivation and doing the project.
I got up 5:30 every morning, picked up another practitioner and drove to the office for exercise and Fa study. We returned home at 10:00 p.m. I could do the three things every day. Our cultivation state was very good during that time. We set up an outdoor practice site near our office. A Westerner came to meditate with us and wanted to learn Falun Dafa. I sent Dafa books and an exercise video to her.
One night I noticed a few udumbara flowers on the back window of my car. I was very excited. I knew Master was encouraging me. Thank you, Master!
As the lockdown became stricter, I lost the group cultivation environment. I became lazy and started to seek comfort as time went on. Before, I didn’t feel tired from morning until night. But now I got up late and felt sleepy after working only two or three hours. Even though I increased my Fa study time to two to four hours a day, I felt absentminded while I was working on my project. I could only do a limited amount of work every day. I felt anxious and lost my direction. Master always arranged new tasks for me when I started to relax. I felt that Master was pushing me forward.
A practitioner said in the big group Fa study that they needed practitioners to distribute newspapers. I wanted to join them, but my laziness interfered. I used the excuse that I should leave this opportunity to those practitioners who were not involved in other projects. I had been working in the media and felt I was too skilled to distribute newspapers.
I hesitated for a week and realized that it was arranged by Master and it was also an opportunity for me to overcome my laziness. I asked the coordinator for a map. She sent me two maps. I estimated that I had to distribute 2,600 newspapers. I felt a bit chilly in my heart because the area was large and I doubted if I could complete the task. But it was too late for me to say no, since the maps had been sent to me.
So, I took 2,600 newspapers and started to work out a plan for my distribution. I got up at 7 o’clock in the morning and distributed for one hour the first day, then two and a half hours to three hours each day. I noticed that I achieved better results if I had strong righteous thoughts while distributing the newspaper. I recited “On Dafa” to replace my other thoughts. Sometimes I recited word by word so that every word came up before my eyes. While I was placing the papers into the letter boxes, I sent forth righteous thoughts to dissolve the evil elements that prevented people from knowing the truth and being saved.
While distributing newspapers I found that I was back in the cultivation state I had when I resumed practicing. Master might have seen that I improved, as another big project came up. I received an email from the New York team and they were recruiting a graphic editor. I submitted my resume without thinking too much about it.
I received their reply the next day and two rounds of interviews were arranged. During the interviews, the practitioner there said that they might arrange a better position for me based on my ability and might ask me to do design work. I was very happy. My complacency came up. I felt I was capable. The project in the U.S. was big – much bigger than the one in Australia. I differentiated the projects into important and less important.
Then something strange happened. The interviews went well but I didn’t receive a reply. Did I do something wrong? Was the opportunity not for me? Was it only a test to help me get rid of my complacency? These were the most agonizing two weeks I ever experienced. Every day I thought, “Why didn’t they send me an email? Was I not accepted?”
One day while I was doing the exercises, I had the thought: “Do not differentiate between projects.” Yes, I suddenly understood that every project was saving people. One project is not more important than another. I said to Master in my heart, “Master, I am wrong. I shouldn’t categorize such sacred Dafa projects as more important or less important. I am looking at Dafa projects from an everyday person’s perspective.” I felt relieved after I said that to Master.
Two days later, I received a letter and joined the U.S. team. I enlightened that as a practitioner, I will get what I deserve when I let go of my attachments. It was just as Master said, “...gain things naturally without pursuing them.” (“Learning the Fa,” Essentials For Further Advancement)
Thank you, Master, for your compassionate arrangement!
These are my cultivation experiences since I resumed practicing. Thank you, Master for saving me with compassion and not giving up on me at this last moment. I will continue cultivating diligently with fellow practitioners in my team and be worthy of Master’s careful protection and arrangement. I hope all practitioners will cultivate as diligently as when we just started. Let’s reach consummation and return home with Master.
Thank you, Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!
(Presented at the 2021 Australia Online Falun Dafa Experience Sharing Conference)