(Minghui.Org) It has been more than 20 years since I started practicing Falun Dafa. During the past two decades, the old forces have taken advantage of my loopholes and made arrangements. They created insurmountable barriers for me, which eventually piled up into a huge tribulation attempting to end my life. This was because of my inability to truly cultivate my xinxing and to truly let go of many of my attachments. It is Master who protected and helped me overcome all kinds of tribulations. This helped me stay firmly on the path of cultivation.
I wasn’t yet 30 when I started to practice Dafa. It was a prosperous period in my life, but I was in low spirits because of an accidental fall at work that left me paralyzed and bedridden. I suffered from a necrotic follicular lesion of the left femoral head. We were poor and couldn’t afford medical intervention. My husband worked, and my five-year-old daughter took care of me.
When I was filled with despair, Master Li arranged for one of my neighbors, a practitioner, to help me obtain the Fa. I had Master and a desire to live. What was incredible was that, after practicing for only a few days, I could sit up, stand up, walk with a cane, and go to a practice site to do the exercises. It was Master and Dafa that gave me a new life. My family and neighbors were amazed by the power of Dafa and the greatness of Master, and many of them began to practice.
Only a few months later in July 1999, then-head of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) Jiang Zemin launched the persecution of Falun Dafa. For a while, it seemed as if China was enveloped by dark clouds and a sense of horror. My family members who had planned to start to practice Dafa gave up the idea. I was in great pain at the time: “It is such a good practice with such high standards, and it saves people from suffering and asks them to be good. Why is it suddenly being suppressed?” With infinite gratitude to Master, I was determined to follow Master to the end.
Even though I had a hard time walking, my daughter and I went out to clarify people’s misunderstandings about Dafa. We distributed Dafa materials in buildings, on side streets, and on the main roads. In order to validate Dafa, in the winter of 2001, my daughter, fellow practitioners, and I overcame obstacles and interference to go to Tiananmen Square.
As the persecution escalated, the environment in China became more and more suffocating. Many practitioners were illegally arrested, tortured, and killed. I, too, was arrested and detained. At that time, I did not study the Fa and had a lot of attachments – especially fear. Therefore, I could not overcome these critical hurdles. The old forces began to persecute me physically, and I experienced sickness karma.
Because I didn't know how to cultivate my xinxing at that time and was unable to remove my attachments, a field of karma formed in my body. It kept growing and getting thicker. It accumulated until it became a hard lump on the right side of my chest. It was inconvenient for me to move around. I felt miserable and helpless. In addition, I neglected to study the Fa and do the exercises, and gradually moved away from the practice.
The old forces repeatedly used loopholes to make arrangements for me. Another reason was that I moved far away from my fellow practitioners. I had very little contact with them, so I was basically cultivating by myself. I was struggling with “sickness” and ups and downs. In the autumn of 2017, I became paralyzed again. Once again, I suffered.
My daughter had grown up and was working elsewhere. My husband went out to work and was not around. Lying in bed and looking up at the ceiling, I thought, “Why am I bedridden again? How have I cultivated all these years? How have I walked on the road of destruction arranged by the old forces? No, I must not be fooled by the old forces and not follow the path they arranged. I am a Dafa practitioner and I want to completely negate their arrangements. I have to follow the path of cultivation arranged by Master.” I then asked Master for help.
After sending forth this thought, Master arranged for a fellow practitioner to come to my home. While taking care of me, the practitioner helped me to understand the Fa, how to improve, and how to truly cultivate my xinxing. Very soon, with Master’s blessings and the power of the Fa, and with the fellow practitioner’s care, I sat up, was able to stand, and could walk around and go up and down the stairs with a cane. I was able to go downstairs again to clarify the truth, and later on I didn’t need a cane.
I had been paralyzed for nearly a year. The power of Dafa was once again shown to me, which verified what Master said: “...matter and mind are one thing.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun) I am grateful to Master for not giving up on me, an unsatisfactory disciple who had to be saved again.
In the autumn and winter of 2019, I moved back to my original residence. In early December, I went to a morning market to buy vegetables. It had snowed and the road was slippery, and I fell on my way home. The old forces used this as an excuse, and I became bedridden again. Their goal was to prevent me from cultivating and eventually destroy me. I immediately recognized its evil purpose. I denied all their arrangements and studied and memorized the Fa a lot. I looked internally for my own problems, constantly removing my attachments. By constantly rectifying myself, I would do the exercises when I could sit up or stand up, denying any negative thoughts.
Master tells us,
“'When it’s difficult to endure, you can endure it. When it’s impossible to do, you can do it.'” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)
I was strict with myself and memorized Master’s Fa. Within just 20 days, I broke through this tribulation and once again this showed the power of Dafa.
Now, I can do chores around the house. Besides studying the Fa and doing the exercises every day, I can go out to clarify the truth and awaken people’s consciences, although some practitioners are concerned about my legs and physical condition, and politely advise me not to go out, to study the Fa at home.
I just think that, today, when the pandemic is out of control and human lives are at stake, we need to seize the time to awaken people. If one more person in the world knows the truth, one more celestial body will be saved. I am using the little time left to help Master rectify the Fa by clarifying the truth so that I can complete my mission. At the same time, my xinxing is constantly being upgraded.
Master has rescued me from tribulations again and again. Although my family members do not practice Dafa, they have benefited a lot. My husband had been in poor health and was hospitalized with a serious illness last winter. After being discharged from the hospital, because of his health problems, he stayed at home and was very distressed. Over the years, he has believed in Dafa and supported my practice and been very considerate in taking care of me. He has witnessed Master help me overcome these several major tribulations and firmly believes that Master is good, that Falun Dafa is good, and that Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good. This time when I recovered, he did, too.
I can't express my infinite gratitude to Master, who offers me protection and help. I am determined to fulfill my mission to awaken people’s consciences. I will rectify myself and let go of fame and fortune and all kinds of other human attachments. I will disintegrate and remove all the toxins from the CCP culture and dig out the roots of self and selfishness. I want to reach the standards of the Fa at different levels as soon as possible and reach the realm of a new enlightened being. I wish to repay Master's infinite grace through true cultivation and courage.