(Minghui.org) “I was a typical perfectionist. When I encountered a setback, I would try to escape, including cutting my wrists. When others treated me badly, I couldn't accept it. My life had to be perfect. I felt it was better to commit suicide than to live an imperfect life,” said Xiao Zhen. At her lowest point, she found Falun Dafa.
Ms. Xiao Zhen said Falun Dafa helped her to set aside selfishness.
Xiao Zhen was born in Taiwan and grew up in Thailand. She graduated from Chulalongkorn University, the best university in the country. She studied fine arts and applied arts. Her artistic temperament and focus on perfection impacted everyone around her.
“After I began practicing Falun Dafa, I realized that I was very selfish. The reason why I worked hard was actually for myself. When anything made me unhappy, I wanted to end it. I never considered others’ feelings.”
Whenever things didn’t go her way, Zhen tried to escape. She never considered the effect her actions had on others. Practicing Falun Dafa helped her to become selfless. She said emotionally, “The power of Falun Dafa benefited me both mentally and physically and helped me become altruistic.”
“Before I practiced, my health was always poor. I had an elevated heartbeat,” Zhen said. “As a child I couldn’t participate in any outdoor school activities. I couldn’t even run.
“When I was in elementary school, I began having stomach problems. By the time I was in middle school I developed stomach ulcers that worsened when I was in high school. I began having migraine headaches when I was in college. I kept taking migraine medicine until I got pregnant.”
But she believed in fate. Zhen said, “I always thought that there was an invisible force arranging my life. When I was young, my parents were busy running a business, and my brother was twelve years younger than I. I always felt lonely. I would pray and ask the gods to help me be a good person. Before I began practicing I thought I was a good person.”
Zhen shared about what led her to practice Falun Dafa. “Before we married, my fiancé who is Taiwanese, told me about Falun Dafa. He said it was a good practice. He read some paragraphs from the book Zhuan Falun to me. We agreed that one day we’d practice,” she recalled.
“In 2000, one month before I received my immigration visa for Australia, I found a practice site in Thailand. I also bought a copy of Zhuan Falun in Thai. I read very slowly and I only read the first twenty pages. After I moved to Australia I did not continue reading.”
Zhen married her fiancé in Australia and soon had a son. In 2010, Zhen was pregnant for the third time. But when the fetus was almost 20 weeks old, her amniotic fluid began leaking. Her doctor could not find any reason.
Although she had been on complete bed rest (because her second pregnancy ended in miscarriage) and she took every precaution to protect the baby, Zhen's amniotic fluid was almost completely gone within two days.
The doctor told her that if carried to term, the baby might be born with disabilities. Zhen refused to terminate the pregnancy. In the end, the child was miscarried. Zhen was distraught.
“My eyes were swollen from crying and I nearly suffered a mental collapse. I was very depressed. I could only think about that little baby I lost. I even thought about ending my life so I could be with him.
“My family was very worried about me. They did everything to cheer me up, and even replaced all my furniture. But my tears still flowed every day. My poor husband didn’t know what to say. He also became depressed and his health declined.
“One day, my husband suggested I try reading Zhuan Falun. I hadn’t opened the book in ten years. When I read the part where Master talks about cleansing the body, I started to cough out black pus and I also had diarrhea. When I read the Second Lecture, my head ached, especially at the position of the celestial eye.
“I finished reading Zhuan Falun in five days. I finally understood where the child I just lost went and what our relationship was. This book helped open my mind.
“Zhuan Falun answered many questions I had. I decided to practice Falun Dafa! One month after the miscarriage, I took my son and my husband to a group practice site.
“When I practiced the fifth exercise, I could feel a small Falun turning on my head, shoulders, and fingers. Soon after I began practicing, the stomach problems that plagued me since childhood and the migraine headaches completely disappeared. I felt what it was like to be pain-free for the first time in my life!”
After she began practicing Falun Dafa Xiao Zhen understood that mind and body are connected. She no longer gets stressed out over small things and takes life as it comes.
Speaking of the great changes in her life, Zhen said she admires Falun Dafa’s amazing power. She said, “In the past, I always wished I had a son and a daughter. I wanted my husband to be handsome and I wanted to be more beautiful than the other wives. I wanted to live a happy life. I also cared about what school my son attended and what job my husband had. I wanted my life to be better than others.”
After she began practicing Falun Dafa, Zhen did her best to guide her son’s education. She said, “I tell my son to work hard and do his best, but I do not pressure him. I don’t feel depressed if he doesn’t do well.”
Zhen no longer competes for fame or money. When others do well, she is truly happy for them from the bottom of her heart, because she understands that peoples’ lives are predestined.
“After I began practicing, I realized that nothing was accidental. Everything is prearranged. I now understand that life is precious! After practicing, I understand that every human life comes from the divine. We are not here simply to enjoy ourselves or live a good life. We must be altruistic. Everything that happened to me in the past helps me cherish my life now and I can face anything. The amazing power of Falun Dafa changed my life!”