(Minghui.org) We have been studying the Fa in Fanyi’s home for more than ten years. I have been delivering truth-clarification materials to the practitioners since the persecution began. I became very sentimental over the years. Fanyi (alias), who is in her seventies, treated me like her daughter and liked to discuss ordinary things, whether at home or in the group.
Fanyi had a lot of human notions. She did not know how to look inward and did not allow others to point out her faults. Other practitioners dared not say anything to her, as they hoped I could persuade her to look for her attachments. I told the other practitioners that they needed to look inward and tolerate Fanyi, because she is older than us.
I sometimes spoke with Fanyi about looking within, but my efforts were not very effective. I found that she had accumulated even more human notions as time went on. She could not pass the test of sickness karma, and went to a hospital and took medication. She disagreed with me when I discussed her situation with her, which caused me some frustration.
Another practitioner in the same study group later learned to make truth-clarification materials, so I didn’t need to provide materials to these practitioners every week. I shifted responsibility for materials to that practitioner, and I gradually stopped going to Fanyi’s home.
When I was printing one of Master’s articles in 2015, the printer spit out two of the pages with a hole the size of a bean. I picked up the pages to see what Master wanted to point out to me.
“Some coordinators really do need to think hard about how they are doing things. I would like to tell you that, since you are a coordinator, you should gather the local practitioners and bring them together on Master’s behalf so that they can improve in cultivation, and you should help Master by leading them well. That is your responsibility as a coordinator in your area. But you always shun some people, you always shun certain people who don’t go along with what you want, you always view things in ordinary ways, you always deal with things in ordinary ways, and always cause the local practitioners to not work together well.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2015 New York Fa Conference”)
I did not think that Master was talking about me. I was the area coordinator, but I was not excluding anyone. Was Master telling me to remind another coordinator? I often pointed out his shortcomings to him. Perhaps he was excluding me. I found an opportunity to mention the above passage to him, which only made him confused. My thinking was off track.
Time passed quickly, and I had a dream before the New York Fa Conference in 2016.
In the dream, I was going to do something with Fanyi’s study group, and we had to use transportation. There were two three-horse carriages. Practitioner Tianjie’s carriage was very big. Fanyi’s carriage was very small. Their homes were not far away, but they were not in the same study group.
Tianjie (alias name) learned the Fa before 1999 and is younger than Fanyi. She also has a better understanding of Dafa. I had always hoped Tianjie would take responsibility for these two study groups. In the dream, Tianjie drove to the city to take care of her granddaughter. I had wanted people to get on Tianjie’s carriage, but she drove away without looking back.
We had to get on Fanyi’s carriage. I sat in the front of the carriage, next to her, and she had her hands on a steering wheel. Fanyi suddenly had a heart attack, and since I had two mangoes in my pocket, I put some in her mouth, and then I woke up.
I understood that what Master was telling me through the dream was that since Fanyi hosts a study group, which was arranged long ago, I should help her to do a good job. I went back to her home for group Fa study, but noticed that there had not been much progress. I felt very helpless.
“I can tell you this: if you, as someone in a leadership role or as a project coordinator, haven’t worked well with someone, then there’s a shortcoming in your cultivation that you need to address. If you haven’t been able to address it, it’s a shortcoming, and it is an issue as you work to achieve consummation. Don’t believe it? I’ve always emphasized the importance of your working together well. How could you, someone in a leadership role, be so incompetent? You keep excluding people, as if it were really that difficult to patiently discuss things and get the other person to come around? Isn’t that in itself a cultivation process? How is it cultivation if you’re only choosing the easy way out? Is it really that hard to reason with people calmly and get along with your fellow practitioners? You aren’t all that competent and you haven’t been able to do many things well, and yet you feel a need to show off and demonstrate how good you are. What’s the point of doing that? Gods don’t look at you on the surface but at how much heart you put into things! Nor do they look at how capable you are, but rather, at whether you put enough heart into it, and whether your mind is on the Fa. If it is on the Fa, gods will help you to work together with others. And if it’s not on the Fa, but rather on merely getting things done, and you only utilize whoever does what they’re told, then you’ll discover later on that whoever simply does as they’re told now won’t later on, since you didn’t pass the test. And if you keep pushing away whoever doesn’t follow along and just do what they’re told, you will end up with nobody left to drive away, there will be nothing there that enables you to cultivate, and in the end you’ll be the only one left. How could you be so incompetent? I’ve said before that Dafa disciples were Kings before in the heavens. So what happened to all those abilities of yours? You are said to have come from high planes, so you should somehow carry in you those elements, and some of that wisdom, and yet where did those qualities go?” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2016 New York Fa Conference”)
When I studied this paragraph, I realized that Master has been pointing out to me since 2015, that I was excluding the practitioners in Fanyi’s study group. Yet, I was still unaware of it, so Master had compassionately pointed it out to me in again in my dream.
Alas, I felt so stupid to burden Master so much! Looking at the issue with a calm heart, I realized that I never took Fanyi seriously. I simply thought it was good enough to have people study with her every afternoon, since she was old and lives by herself in a big home.
She was an outsider in my mind. I felt that others should take the responsibility for her since Fanyi’s xinxing was too weak. I was obviously excluding her. I could not help her improve her xinxing because I was prejudiced against her. My heart was not in the right place, so I could not show her the power of the Fa.
I changed my thinking and developed a sincere desire to help Fanyi complete her mission. She was the only one in her study group by the summer of 2016. I did my best to participate in this study group so that it could continue. There are now about ten people reading in the group.
After I changed my attitude, Fanyi also changed, and she has learned to look inward. Even though sometimes an unrelated topic is discussed during Fa study, I no longer criticize her. I look inward instead, and then discuss cultivation with her kindly. She is no longer offended or defensive. She also goes out to clarify the truth to save people in the mornings.
On one occasion, Fanyi talked to a young man about Falun Gong. The man said to her, “If I had a gun, I would shoot you.”
She came back and discussed the incident with me. She said, “I have not been doing things correctly. I should not just incidentally clarify the truth when I go shopping, I should take the initiative to clarify the truth to people all the time.”
I felt happy that she realized this. I praised her for her improvement in looking within. She smiled with slight embarrassment.