(Minghui.org) I was introduced to Falun Dafa in 2012. I began to study the Fa and do the exercises on my own at home because my family objected to me seeing other practitioners, as they had been deeply influenced by the Chinese Communist Party's (CCP) lies and propaganda.
I finally began to attend a Fa-study group in the spring of 2016. There were three of us in the group. The other two started practicing before the persecution began in 1999.
I often felt that I couldn't catch up with them. They had spent so many more years studying the Fa than me, and I envied them for this.
I wanted to hear their understandings of the profound Fa principles. But I was pursuing enlightenment and improving myself based on their words rather than my own understandings from studying the Fa.
Sometimes when we were sharing cultivation experiences and understandings, the other practitioners did not talk much. Their words were plain and simple, and did not have the effect I'd hoped for. Then something happened that helped make me change my attitude towards them and gain a better understanding of cultivation.
After reading the article “What Does the Communist Party's Classified Document Show?” on the Minghui website, I became excited. I kept reminding myself not to be moved by ordinary human society, or to put any hope in the CCP.
My excitement got the better of me, however. I downloaded the article and shared it with the other two practitioners. I excitedly told them what I thought about it. Both of them were indifferent towards the article and what I said. They were not excited or curious, and remained very calm. Gradually I calmed down as well, and forgot about it for the rest of our meeting.
When I got home, I again couldn't stop thinking about the article. I read a few other articles related to it, including an editorial from NTDTV. I kept warning myself not to be attached to it, and I knew that the nature of the CCP would not change regardless of how ordinary human society changes.
A few days later the topic came up again and I was still excited about it. I noticed that my fellow practitioners were again very calm and not moved in the least.
After 17 years of cultivation in the persecutory environment in China, they have become truly mature, sober, and composed. I have witnessed the solid foundation they have built through long-term Fa study and cultivation.
They may look simple on the surface, but their steadfast faith in the Fa and Teacher is unshakable. Getting to know them and understanding how they became that way inspired me to improve.
I looked inside and compared myself to them. Though I require myself to study the Fa and cultivate, when encountering cultivation issues I become agitated and easily moved. I also have other attachments, such as relying on others, attachment to time, and jealousy.
Teacher said:
“The political instability and the changes that are now happening, or that may lie ahead, might really draw your attention. But I think that since you, as Dafa disciples, have come through the harsh tests of the last ten-plus years, you should be able to see things for what they are. The things that happen in the human world are natural changes that occur in the human world. And I know, of course, that all of those things are due to gods’ systematic arrangements. That is how it works. Don’t get involved in human political affairs, and don’t let yourself get stirred up by ordinary people.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2014 San Francisco Fa Conference”)
When I compare myself with Teacher's Fa, I find that I am not truly putting my heart into studying the Fa and cultivating solidly.
I came to see my gaps after spending time studying the Fa and sharing with the veteran practitioners.
This is my personal understanding, please point out anything inappropriate.