(Minghui.org) Greetings Master, Greetings fellow practitioners.
Under Master's protection, I have cultivated for 18 years. From a selfish and spoiled girl, I have turned into a mature Dafa disciple, walking on the path of validating the Fa with solid belief.
I would like to take this precious opportunity to greet our revered Master. Master, you've done so much for me. I miss you with tears. Whenever I run into difficulties in cultivation, I remind myself that Master is waiting for good news from me, so I cannot let him down. I would like to make a promise to Master: I will try better to do the three things, so Master won't worry about me.
During the last seven years or so, I have started to do some coordination work. My most important enlightenment during this time is that a coordinator needs to look inward and cultivate herself, instead of focusing on other people's problems. I have two examples.
A few years ago, I brought some truth-clarifying materials to a Fa-study group. Out of the blue, a senior fellow practitioner asked me unhappily, “Why do you bring materials to other practitioners, but not me?” I didn't know how to answer her. She then started complaining. I realized that her complaining was a result of her misunderstanding.
When I told myself to look inward, she yelled at me with anger, “Why do you bring Dafa materials to the Fa-study group, to which your mother belongs? Are Dafa materials your family's property?” I said to myself that this was a test arranged by Master for me to eliminate some attachment. So, I remained calm, and didn't argue with her.
But I felt that I could have even done better. So, I peacefully read the Fa, and looked more deeply inward. I then found that I had the attachment to fame in the coordinating work. I wanted acknowledgment from fellow practitioners, I didn't want to negative opinions about me, and I sometime just did the routine and the bare minimum. I asked myself, if I was really doing the work with compassion, why would a fellow practitioner yell at me?
I said to myself that the senior fellow practitioner had many merits that I lacked. She had solid belief in the Fa, and was never scared of difficulties when clarifying the truth. She had overcome many tribulations, and never bragged about herself when she had some achievement. Thinking of these, my heart filled with guilt and respect for her.
Before this incident, I always tried to think of ways to “help fellow practitioners” to solve conflicts. This was the first time since I became a coordinator that I had peacefully looked inward during a conflict. At that moment, I had an abstruse feeling—I had deeper understanding of “compassion.” I was able to ignore another person's problems, and only focus on what I did wrong. I realized that compassion includes tolerance and respect for others, and it comes from the bottom of one's heart. I am grateful to Master for his guidance.
On the second morning, the senior fellow practitioner knocked on my door with a gift. She apologized, “Kid, I am sorry for what I said. It was wrong, and originated from my competitive mentality and jealousy. I had disagreements with your parents, and I took it out on you. My behavior was not that of a Dafa disciple.” I said to her, “When I looked inward, I saw my wrongdoings too.” We both cried.
Later, I tried my best to help her and my mother reconcile. With Master's help, I and fellow practitioners disintegrated the old evil forces' arrangement, and formed a whole body. This experience made me strongly believe that looking inward was the best way to solve any conflicts.
The second example happened three years ago. I found that two fellow practitioners in my Fa-study group often badmouthed others behind their backs. They complained to practitioners in other Fa-study groups, and gave bad impressions to people in other groups.
My first thought was negative, because their behavior interfered with the whole body. I planned talk to them, but my rationality stopped me. I calmed down and looked inward.
I suddently saw that I was not being compassionate. Upon looking deeper inward, I saw my arrogance, and the problem of often looking down on others. I often judged other using my rules, and compared other peoples' shortcomings with my so-called good points.
If I had gone to talk to those practitioners, in the name of “forming a whole body” or “help them to improve,” I would have hurt them, and interfered with the Fa-rectification, because “looking outward” is a negative harmful force. With this mentality, I could not help Master to rectify the Fa. I enlightened that I must eliminate this negative stuff from my heart.
A few months later, my cultivation status improved, and my heart had finally adjusted to a correct status. So, humbly, I talked to the two practitioners, and shared my understandings. They were touched to tears, and regretted what they said and how they behaved, which deviated from the Fa. They felt that they had let Master down.
That day, we formed a harmonic energy field, which melted us. Our hearts were connected, and we all developed strong righteous thoughts for striving forward diligently in cultivation.
This incident showed me that “looking inward” is truly precious in cultivation.
Master said in the lecture “Be More Diligent,”
“If you can manage to quietly complete what you notice is lacking, quietly do well what you should do, and quietly do something well when you find it to have been done less than ideally, then the multitude of gods will have tremendous admiration for you and exclaim that this person is simply extraordinary. Only doing things this way counts as what a Dafa disciple should do.”
The word “quietly” kept jumping into my mind. I enlightened that this would be my cultivation goal in the future.
Soon after I read this lecture, I had a test. A fellow practitioner suddenly attacked me with an extreme tone in front of others. I was clear, and realized right away that it was arranged by the old forces, who were trying to destroy my reputation. I knew that it was because I had an attachment to fame as a coordinator, a big loophole in cultivation that the old forces tried to take advantage of.
I immediately sent forth righteous thoughts, trying to disintegrate the evil arrangements towards all the practitioner coordinators. I was able to calmly face the sudden attack. The only thing in my mind was Master's words, “Just by staying unaffected you will be able to handle all situations.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Conference in the Midwest-U.S.”) I was able to stay unaffected.
However, the real test had just started. After that attack, no coordinators in our area believed I could handle it. All kinds of misunderstandings and mis-analyses poured on me. Many coordinators came to me in turn. They thought that I was frustrated, so they asked me not to be unhappy, and not to develop negative feelings. All of these misunderstandings made me speechless. What was worse, when we had difficulties in some Dafa projects, other practitioners even suspected that I purposely hindered the progress due to my “negative feelings.”
There were many disagreements at that time among local practitioners on several issues, such as how to deal with people who undermine the Fa, how to form a whole body, whether a male and a female practitioner can work together without others being present, and how to deal with safety issues. I always tried to reconcile the opinions of fellow practitioners with compassion, and point out their shortcomings cautiously.
However, since we had too many disagreements, I had to talk to them frequently, which exerted pressure on practitioners. Some practitioners developed repelling attitudes, and refused to listen to me. Some practitioners strongly believed that I had negative opinions of people, that I was not tolerant, and not able to open my heart when talking to them. They assumed a lot of negative stuff that I actually did not have.
I was under a lot of pressure during that time. I didn't know why fellow practitioners were treating me like that, and I didn't know what to do. Although I knew that my own shortcomings must be factors, I could not handle facing such a complicated situation, which came to me so suddenly. What bothered me most was that I developed negative opinions toward a certain person, whom I had trusted the most before the conflict.
All of this made me see that cultivation was not simple. What we have to face is not just the evil persecution. The relationship between practitioners is not always rosy and sunny. We are all cultivating, and we all have human notions, which can bring us tribulations. How should I handle all of this? What are the problems in my cultivation? How can I “manage to quietly complete what you notice is lacking?”
I intensively read the Fa, and looked inward. I felt Master's help and guidance. First I saw my attachment to compliments. I could not handle criticism very well. The ability to take criticism is fundamental for a cultivator. For a long time, I had failed to improve this aspect of myself, which led to my intolerance and small heart. The situation I had to face was a wake-up call for me to improve. Negative opinions from fellow practitioners towards me were actually illusions—they were creating opportunities for me to improve my xinxing.
After enlightening to this, I took action. During that time, I could not calm down when sending forth righteous thoughts. So, while sending righteous thoughts, I shouted out, “Dafa disciples do not acknowledge the old evil forces' arrangements. I do not acknowledge the illusions of the negative opinions towards me. I only walk on the path arranged by Master. My fellow practitioners are great beings. They are good cultivators. I and my fellow practitioners are a whole body.” I repeated these sentences over and over again until I didn't have any bad thoughts. When I finished, my face was covered with tears.
I later had a chance to talk with practitioners from the rural areas, and I saw true humbleness. Fellow practitioners are like mirrors, reflecting my own shortcomings. I had thought that I understood the Fa better than others, and often judged others from my own perspectives. When I talked to practitioners, thinking I was in accordance with the Fa, I was actually deviated from the Fa.
My cultivation was shallow. I paid more attention to my behavior at superficial levels, and ignored the fundamentals in cultivation, which involves looking inward and cultivating one's heart. This fundamental principle cannot be seen with ordinary eyes. It manifests in the other dimensions as great glorious virtue.
I was subsequently able to more calmly study the Fa and look inward, then found another problem of mine—I didn't know how to think from other people's perspectives. After I realized that, I had a better understanding of Master's words that “matter and mind are one thing” (Zhuan Falun). When I changed my mind, I was able to see things with compassion and forbearance. I also found that it was not hard to understand the feelings and opinions of fellow practitioners.
Finally, after intensive Fa-study and looking inward, I saw my selfishness—I had overestimated myself and always tried to overprotect myself. Selfishness, the worst and dirtiest substance in the universe, resulted in jealousy, and even lustful thoughts in my heart. How could I assimilate the Fa with this substance? How could I improve my xinxing based on the Fa? Without my xinxing being improved, what were the meanings of the three things that I was doing? Eliminating selfishness is the true test and true manifestation of my respect for Master and the Fa.
I realized that the old evil forces are actually nothing. I have Master's universal Fa. Using the precious method given by Master, looking inward, one is able to rectify, renew, and purify herself in the Fa. The old forces' arrangements are actually used by Master, and become the tests and steps leading to consummation.
I thanked Master and the fellow practitioners over and over again. My heart calmed down, and I finally came to a deeper understanding of the profound meaning and the strong power of the word “quietly.” It is a natural state when one reaches that realm. A cultivator does not have to manifest her behavior, nor does she need to prove her heart.
So I stopped validating and manifesting myself. When I saw shortcomings in fellow practitioners, I was able to present my opinion, and wait until practitioners became calm. I respect their opinions. I try to only share my opinions with others openly, but not try to change others, or force them to accept my opinions. When I am able to do that, they always accept my words easily.
I also found that although we may have differing opinions, the disagreements are no longer obstacles in our collaborations. I bring up my thoughts when we all have peaceful hearts. When I see practitioners' problems, I quietly send forth righteous thoughts for them. I know that I should “manage to quietly complete what you notice is lacking.” Master lets me see others' problems, because he wants me to cultivate myself.
We recently had a local cultivation experience sharing conference, and I collaborated with other practitioners to organize the conference. I patiently told practitioners how important the conference was, and how to write high quality speeches. Some practitioners, especially the senior ones, do very well in cultivation, but they can't write, so I recorded their oral statements, and wrote the speeches for them. I went to a rural area several times, talking to a practitioner there, and helping him to improve his speech, which was warmly received later at the conference.
Although I was not able to attend the conference myself, I quietly sent forth righteous thoughts for the conference and attendees. I tried my best for the conference. During this process, I sensed what Master has done for us. Every time a cultivator is able to eliminate some attachments, he or she does so under Master's help and guidance.
I, a Dafa disciple, will never miss the precious opportunities in cultivation. I will strive forward diligently, and not betray Master's salvation.
Thanks again to benevolent Master. Also thanks to fellow practitioners. If you see shortcomings in this article, please correct me.