(Minghui.org) Ever since I started practicing Falun Dafa, I always seemed to comprehend the Fa better and quicker than others. Because of this, I was deeply admired and even worshipped by many people, including veteran practitioners and local coordinators. I worked hard to make sure that I didn't get carried away by my seemingly unusual superiority, yet it was hard to stop others from idolizing me.
It took many years to figure out that the old forces had arranged that I would plagiarize and undermine the Fa. I have come a long way to realize that only by positioning myself correctly in relation to Master and Dafa could I truly disintegrate the old force arrangements for me to do damage to Dafa. I would like to share my cultivation journey with everyone.
As a New Cultivator, I Was Worshipped by Veteran Practitioners and a Strange Mechanism Inside Me Began to Collect Followers
Even as a brand new practitioner, I was able to enlighten to many more Fa principles than other practitioners. Many Dafa assistants and coordinators were impressed with my abilities, and they often sent people to seek my advice on how to deal with problems in their cultivation. The way I was treated and the way I behaved made me look like a veteran disciple who had been cultivating for years, even though I had just barely started the practice.
I soon found something strange happening within me. Every time I shared experiences with fellow practitioners, a mysterious mechanism inside me immediately began sorting my audience into different categories. I unconsciously detected who had already been conquered and had no doubts about my abilities, who solidly admired me, who still needed more evidence to see my superiority, and who would never become my followers.
This mechanism seemed to be looking for “my” people. Such a mindset became even more evident in certain circumstances.
After a few rounds of this, I became very perplexed, yet no one I talked to knew what the mechanism was. I thought long and hard, but still had no clue of what kind of attachments such a mindset entailed. I just felt that something wasn’t quite right, and had to do my best not to allow such a mechanism to rear its ugly head.
Looking back, I see that Fa-plagiarizing and Fa-undermining factors, which had been set up by the old forces, were actually at play. Fortunately I was very diligent at the beginning of my cultivation, and all I wanted was to follow the Fa strictly to cultivate myself. As a result, I never let down my guard or allowed myself to be controlled by those factors.
Gaining a Better Understanding of Being Worshipped and worshiping Others
Years later we entered the phase of Fa-rectification cultivation. Thanks to a reminder from a practitioner whose third eye was open, I revisited my problem, “Why do I always feel there is something separating me from Master? Why do I feel uneasy calling myself a Dafa disciple? Why am I uncomfortable about cultivating in everyday people’s society?” After some pondering, I came to the realization that I might well be the type of person that Master mentioned in “Dafa Can Never be Plagiarized” (in Essentials for Further Advancement), about those who plagiarized the Fa for other schools of cultivation. It was just that my human side wasn’t aware that this is what was occurring. After I shared my findings with fellow practitioners, I felt somewhat relieved. However, the problem of “less superior” practitioners worshiping me and my worshiping of other, “more superior” people still existed to some degree.
I later came across a practitioner who turned out to be a great help to me. As the major coordinator in a certain area, he was highly regarded and enjoyed a great reputation. Yet he was always very cautious about admiration and praise that came his way. Not only did he pay serious attention to taming his own complacency, he also often reminded his fellow practitioners to not worship him. He even severed ties with people who he felt went too far in worshiping him. He, of course, never took advantage of other people’s worship to do things in his own favor. I learned a lot from him about how to deal with other people worshiping me.
During the next couple of years, I worked hard to memorize the Fa. I gradually came to see that I harbored the attachment of breeding demons in my own mind, and I tended to show off my abilities. It's no wonder that I invited admiration of and dependency on myself.
I usually sat down calmly and cleared my mind before trying to identify my attachments. When I measured myself against the principles taught in Zhuan Falun, I was able to see many of my attachments.
Many times I turned down invitations from coordinators asking me to join their experience sharings, because I knew they actually wanted me to give lectures instead. I understood that even though my sharing might temporarily boost some people’s comprehension of the Fa, it was just like a qigong master helping guide qi down from someone’s head. It could never compare to a true ascension in realms, following one’s own enlightenment to higher-level Fa principles. Moreover, no matter how correct my understanding of the Fa principles was, it could easily turn into something like emitting black substance to practitioners. After all, such sharing would not be equal sharing on everyone’s part, but rather an exemplification of me. Such a lecture format would clearly not be in accordance with Master’s requirements and could lead to the problem of worshiping and being worshipped.
From Master’s teachings I came to see that being worshipped was the beginning of establishing a sham cultivation school. Such behavior would be unpardonable, and those being worshipped would never meet with good ends. Perhaps because of my clear understanding of the matter, I didn’t go down too far in plagiarizing and undermining the Fa.
Tribulation Enables Me to Position Myself Correctly in Relation to Master and Dafa
During Fa-rectification cultivation, I was very strict with myself when it came to the matter of paying respect to Master and the Fa, and I felt I was doing a good job in this regard. Now, in retrospect, I see that my carefulness was more a result of my fear. I was afraid of inviting trouble in other dimensions, but my “respect” towards Master and the Fa was not pure enough, since I didn’t have a good understanding of the relationship between Master and myself. As such, I failed to appreciate the preciousness of Dafa.
About a year ago, I encountered the biggest tribulation ever in my cultivation, and it almost destroyed me. While struggling to pass the test, I found many of my attachments, but I still had trouble overcoming it. I was often in extreme anguish and pain, and at times I even wanted to commit suicide. I once had been very diligent, yet this tribulation made me wonder whether I could still cultivate, or make it to the end. Identifying my attachments seemed to lessen my pain a bit, but did nothing to help me overcome the tribulation. I clearly felt that the evils in other dimensions were unwilling to set me free. They were spraying me with large amounts of black substance and tried to get me to leave Master and give up my cultivation and my life. I, on the other hand, was just taking the hit and lingering between life and death, helpless.
Not until recently when I read some Minghui articles did I begin to reflect on factors relating to plagiarizing and undermining the Fa. I saw that my fundamental issue was that I had failed to position myself well in relation to Master. I failed to treat and cherish Dafa with utmost respect and deepest gratitude. I often validated myself under the cover of validating Dafa. This root problem was the major excuse the evil used to intensify its persecution of me.
Upon discovering my root problem, I wrote an experience sharing article to submit to the Minghui website. The day I submitted the article, an unexpected thing happened--the knot in my heart was suddenly untied. The tribulation that had been plaguing me dissipated without a trace. Interestingly, the tribulation seemed to have nothing to do with the issue of plagiarizing and undermining the Fa, but once I realized my problem, it just went away.
I saw that if I had truly behaved like a true Dafa disciple at all times, I’d have treated Master’s Fa with deep gratitude and utmost respect, and I would have cultivated my xinxing solidly and put validating the Fa and saving sentient beings as the top priority. When I cited Fa-principles to validate my own understanding and insisted that fellow practitioners do what I suggested, I was failing to treat Dafa or my enlightenment from the Fa with respect. On the contrary, I had used Master’s teachings as a tool to gather my followers, which exhibited the utmost disrespect towards Master and Dafa. I was shocked to discover that my root problem was an improper positioning of myself with Dafa.
Cautionary Words to People Who Have Similar Problems
I know that I am not the only one arranged by the old forces to plagiarize and undermine the Fa. The god-like lady wearing a grayish-white dress mentioned in the article “Seen in Other Dimensions: The Importance of Fa-Study and Letting Go of Human Ways” was another example of an attempt by the old forces to sabotage the Fa. (http://en.minghui.org/html/articles/2012/9/27/135601.html)
Such people exist in many regions, and they share one common characteristic, which is that they are being worshipped by those who just follow “stars,” but not the Fa. Of course, these worshippers were also arranged by the old forces to do their job.
I see that those “stars” and their worshippers form different sized groups, ranging from just a few members to hundreds of participants. They all have glorious reasons to stay together and claim to be working on the three things diligently.
Many such groups have shrunk in recent years, when their “star practitioners” suffered from sickness karma or were arrested. They may not have realized the existence of the old forces’ arrangements for them to plagiarize and undermine the Fa, but I can see that they are walking on a dangerous path. Moreover, the mere existence of such circles has also fed into larger-scale attempts (such as certain websites maintained by so-called “practitioners”) to sabotage the Fa.
Due to the varied old force arrangements, the difficulty of breaking through these different arrangements also varies. In my opinion, whether you are the “star” being worshipped or you are worshiping others, you all have to face the serious matter of how you position yourself in relation to Master and Dafa. After all, every qualified Dafa disciple must have a correct understanding of the relationship between Master and him or herself.
I Urge Everyone to Rectify Themselves to Stop Further Attacks and Sabotage of Dafa
Last summer the evil launched a blatant attack on Master and Dafa in Hong Kong. When I saw the photos and videos sent to us by Hong Kong practitioners, including the “wanted” posters with Master’s portrait, I couldn’t hold back my tears. After I calmed down, I had a gut feeling that the evil was able to do such damage because some of us hadn't shown enough respect for Master and Dafa, and failed to position themselves well in relation to Master and Dafa.
Different activities that sabotage the Fa still persist today, and I think it is because some of us have still not fundamentally rectified our hearts. Take my own area as an example. A few people who long ago enlightened along an evil path recently emerged again and went around gathering their followers. In some places they were even given opportunities to give a lecture on their twisted understandings. In the meantime, fabricated jingwen (jingwen are articles written by Master) began to spread again. Those who have long-held misconceptions about the Minghui website still haven't corrected themselves.
This phenomena reminded me of my own hard lessons. I see that many have still not come to a clear understanding of their relationship with Master and Dafa. I strongly feel the urgency to completely disintegrate the Fa-plagiarizing and Fa-undermining factors, and to rectify ourselves. It is my sincere hope that everyone read again “Editorial: Put an End to Plagiarizing and Undermining the Fa” and think carefully about what is plagiarizing and undermining the Fa, and how we can work as a whole body to eliminate such factors. (http://en.minghui.org/html/articles/2012/8/14/134948.html).
As a life that had been arranged to plagiarize and undermine the Fa, I was able to break through such an arrangement and avoid being eliminated, all thanks to Master’s boundless compassion and immense grace. I will make sure to constantly rectify myself during the last leg of my cultivation journey.