(Clearwisdom.net) Looking back at my path of cultivation, Master has protected me at every step. He has helped me get up when I fell down, and has encouraged me to keep up. While genuinely cultivating, I have continued to eliminate human attachments and elevate my realm in the Fa.
I began practicing Falun Dafa in 1997. After the persecution began in 1999, I went to Beijing three times to seek justice for Falun Dafa. By late 2002, I had been illegally detained a total of eight times in 24 months. I was forced to be away from my home for seven months. After I returned home in July 2003, I looked inward with a calm mind, looking for reasons for the persecution I endured and my shortcomings. I realized that I had not studied the Fa deeply enough, had not adequately comprehended the Fa, and had not negated the old forces' arrangements. Since then, I have set high standards for myself in cultivation, strictly followed the Fa as teacher, focused on Fa-studies and righteous thoughts, read Minghui Weekly with attentiveness, and negated all the arrangements by the old forces. I only walk the path arranged by Master to truly elevate my understanding on the Fa. I am gradually maturing in my understanding of the Fa. At the same time, I have established a home-based materials production center, which has been operating smoothly. I have strived to maintain strong righteous thoughts in every situation. I wouldn't be able to steadily progress to this day in assisting Master with the Fa-rectification without Master's merciful care.
I would like to share a few insights from participating in Fa-study groups.
Group Fa-study is a form Master has given to practitioners. In this environment, fellow practitioners interact and improve together. I have been participating in a Fa-study group since November 2009. Before that, I studied the Fa by myself, did the exercises, and sent forth righteous thoughts every day. I also made truth clarification materials and shared with nearby practitioners. Sometimes I faced danger too, since the evil was still present in China. Thanks to the Fa's power, I was able to break through with righteous thoughts and righteous actions. Of course, I also needed to do housework and handle family relationships well. Dafa is a thread that connects practitioners. It's not easy for us to have the environment to study the Fa together. We cherish this opportunity and understand its sacredness.
The Fa-study group meets once a week, and we get along well. After studying, we share on the Fa. Sometimes there are frictions between the practitioners, but since we are all cultivating, we are able to calm down and look inward. The conflicts disappear, and our xinxing improves during the process.
During the Chinese New Year holiday this year, we studied the Fa together and shared our understandings. One practitioner said that I talked too loudly and didn't pay attention to the surroundings. I didn't accept the comment calmly. Instead, I felt embarrassed that he made me “lose face” in front of others. I thought he made me seem uneducated. I felt indignant and became indignant. When I got home, I was still upset. Just as Master said in Zhuan Falun,
“But, usually when a conflict comes along, if it doesn't provoke you, it doesn't count, it doesn't work, and you won't be able to improve from it."
Actually at that moment, my enlightened side also knew that my shortcomings had come out and it was time to eliminate them. But my negative side was strong and could not be suppressed. The next day, after I studied the Fa, I calmly thought about the situation. I suddenly realized that the practitioner had pointed out the problem for my benefit. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I was grateful to the practitioner and had no anger left. I vowed to eliminate my bad habits and pay attention to details. Later, when I participated in another study group, I noticed another practitioner was talking really loudly, too. She did seem uneducated. I also kindly reminded her to talk a little more quietly.
As I was writing this article, I realized that talking very loudly is a part of the Communist Party culture. In the Chinese tradition, a woman is supposed to be gentle and kind. As a woman, I should pay attention to this.
A practitioner (Practitioner A) in my area is generally pretty good at clarifying the facts. She has worked together with another practitioner for a long time and has done well. However, when among other practitioners, she is very protective of herself. Although she has cultivated for ten years, she has not made any breakthroughs.
Last March, another local practitioner was detained. I told Practitioner A that my phone might be tapped, and she immediately started avoiding me. She didn't even want to take materials. I sent forth righteous thoughts to disintegrate the evil, and I felt bad for her. The situation was an illusion created to give us an opportunity to improve. She has missed one opportunity after another. I am not criticizing her here. Her situation is relevant to the point I am making in the next paragraph.
Early this year, Practitioner A joined our study group. Although I didn't want to hold grudges, I had a hard time forgetting some of the things she did. Once, after Fa-study, I talked about my view of this practitioner. Although on the surface I was talking about the Fa and showing great tolerance, I actually had many attachments. Because my heart was not clear, I did not feel well, as though my body was blocked. This situation lasted until the next day. When I was getting ready to study the Fa, Master's words appeared in my head,
“...a large portion of the Dafa disciples came with those cosmic bodies, and everybody formed karmic relationships. Once you've reached Consummation and returned it'll be almost impossible for you to see each other again, even if you want to. So, you should treasure this part of your karmic relationship.” (“Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference”)
Suddenly, I could not hold back my tears. My thoughts were on the Fa. I looked inward and realized that I had been holding grudges. Although on the surface I tried to be kind and polite, deep in my heart, I did not let go. I realized my bad thoughts toward this practitioner were adding bad elements to her field, potentially making it more difficult for her to make any breakthroughs. We are all watched by Master. Sooner or later, we need to let go of our human attachments. I hoped she could let go of her attachments. At that moment, my heart was full of kind thoughts, and I was extremely calm. I felt myself elevating, and my body changing. I felt dark cocoons in my field overpowered by a very strong force. Suddenly everything was cleared, and I felt that my body and heart were boundless. In that moment, I could contain anything. On the human side, I realized that I needed to look at where other practitioners have improved so that I can learn from them, instead of picking on their shortcomings. Now, when I look at other practitioners' shortcomings, I have a different mentality, which is one of generosity and tolerance.
Some practitioners in the study group used to work for the same company as me. Before the persecution, we used to study together during our lunch hour. Back then there were a lot of practitioners. After the persecution started, some practitioners were persecuted, and some were sent to forced labor camps and brainwashing centers. Some are still working for the company while others have retired. We are now all back together again. In early 2009, five or six of us formed a weekly Fa-study group. Since we used to work together, we felt very familiar and were able to open our hearts to each other. In late 2009, we knew we had to expose the evil persecution. We talked about using our real names to expose the persecution by the local 610 Office. First of all, it would shock the evil. Secondly, we would be able to clarify the facts to other coworkers in order to save them.
When we finished writing our experiences and were ready to submit the article to the Minghui website (Chinese version of Clearwisdom.net), a practitioner became fearful because another practitioner close to her had recently been arrested. She requested that her name and her experiences be removed. This practitioner went through a lot of tribulations and was a firm practitioner. To help her, we studied the Fa together and shared on the Fa. We decided not to publish the article right away, since we were one body and could not leave one person behind. We also tried to enlighten her based on the Fa-principles, and to strengthen her faith in Master and the Fa. We told her that this was a way to validate the Fa. She gradually developed some righteous thoughts. Our article was published on the Minghui website and had great results. This incident was also a process of improvement for us as a group.
I also enlightened to the fact that Master's words are the Fa. Master has taken care of everything. We have only our hearts and some actions. By taking action, we are also eliminating our attachments, validating the Fa, and improving xinxing through righteous faith and understandings.
In the cultivation environment left by Master, practitioners are able to temper themselves, work together, make up for each others' shortcomings, and walk hand-in-hand with each other in the Fa-rectification. We cherish this environment, which does not come easily.
I especially cherished time recently spent with other practitioners. By doing so, I've also become more tolerant. My realm is elevating. Each time I improve, I look back and see that the tolerance I had before was lacking, and I still had attachments about others' shortcomings. I detected it only after I improved my level.
I hope fellow practitioners can all treasure this extremely rare opportunity and our predestined relationships. Let's rectify ourselves, fulfill our vows, cherish the process of assisting Master during the Fa-rectification, and steadfastly do well what we should do.