(Clearwisdom.net) I am from Hebei Province and am 69 years old. I started practicing Falun Dafa in 1996.
I have been in charge of delivering truth-clarification materials to more than one hundred practitioners since 2002. For a long time I did not treat myself as a practitioner; I did not cultivate my xinxing. After a while I started to become annoyed by practitioners who were not diligent in their cultivation. I was annoyed that they did not take the materials that were allocated to them, and when I delivered to them they were afraid to take the materials. They asked me to put the materials (and sometimes Master's lectures) at their doorsteps when there was no one around at night. They were afraid to meet and share experiences with fellow practitioners. My conflicts with family members and others started to intensify. I started to lose my temper as I couldn't resolve the conflicts, and I couldn't reveal it to people outside of my family. I became angry at my family, and after many tribulations that I was unable to pass, I fell to the level of everyday people.
Being a cultivator, but not following Master's teachings to cultivate xinxing and eliminate attachments, has given evil demons excuses for rampant persecution. One day in 2006, I suddenly couldn't talk, nor could I move while sleeping. I felt like something was pressing against me. It was like the symptoms of a stroke. I thought it was an elimination of karma. I resisted it with a strong main consciousness: "I am a Dafa practitioner, nobody can touch me!" The symptoms of a stroke quickly disappeared. My family insisted on taking me to the hospital for a check. I went to the hospital with my daughter and daughter-in-law. After checking my blood pressure, the doctor shouted: "Pull the wheelchair immediately! Take the elevator!" The doctor said my blood pressure was too high and that I could fall down at any time. I laughed in my heart, thinking: "I rode a bike here and walked up to the third floor by myself; what do you mean I will faint?" But in the end, I still held onto the thoughts of a non-practitioner and took some medicine home.
After coming home I was given an intravenous injection. The needle wouldn't go in, and the liquid squirted out from the vial. But I still didn't enlighten to it. Eventually, the needle went in. After receiving the intravenous injection, I started to get symptoms of a stroke. Half of my body started to lean to one side. I looked terrible with my mouth drooping on one side and with crooked eyes. Practitioners who came over to send forth righteous thoughts were all stunned. They all left after dark. I couldn't control my body, while I was also having diarrhea. My daughter sadly pointed at the medicine that had squirted onto the ground and said: "What's this?" The medicine on the ground had turned into a thick layer of a lime-like, white substance. How could this be good for one's body? I regretted my decision very much.
In the middle of the tribulation, I knelt down in a wobbly fashion in front of Master's portrait. I sincerely admitted my mistake and asked for Master's help. The next morning I tried to move my legs and feet. I was able to move freely, with my body not tilted and my face not crooked anymore. I was also able to walk the five steps on the stairs in front of my door. My family and fellow practitioners were shocked. They were in tears: "Yesterday you were still paralyzed in bed. Today you can go to the park with the family. How wonderful to be practicing Dafa!" Since then, my daughter-in-law has often told her friends: "My mother-in-law doesn't need to see the doctor when she is ill. She recovers by doing the Dafa exercises."
Overcoming a Sickness Tribulation Again
For a long time, I could deal with tests and tribulations, except for those within my family. However, sometimes I would let it go on the surface, without truly passing the test in my mind. Nevertheless, whenever conflicts occurred with my family, I'd forget that I was a cultivator and lose my temper. I would not enlighten, even if I stumbled.
This year I was persecuted again by the evil in the form of sickness. For the first few days, I could not eat or drink; I would throw up even after drinking a sip of water. I felt that if I could not pass this tribulation, I'd lose my life. I clearly recognized that this was persecution, and I knew I must eliminate the evil and only follow Master's arrangements.
After I continuously sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil, I could eat and drink again without spitting up. At night I had a dream in which I saw myself in a terrifying situation. I was walking in a valley between two high mountains, the road was soaked in blood and broken up. If I was not careful, I'd fall into the blood. The road became narrower. Shuttling back and forth were some mice-like animals eating corpses on the ground. Suddenly two of them jumped up and bit hard on my waist. I cried out, "Help!" Then I saw that someone used something to touch my waist, and the pain was then gone. I knew Master had saved me again.
I am grateful to the many practitioners who came to help me during this tribulation. One practitioner thinks that the terrifying scene in my dream represented the true situation of my family members and the sentient beings in my dimension. Since I have not cultivated well, they are trapped in distress without being saved. I should completely change my notions towards my family members.
Cultivation is Serious
Cultivation is a serious matter. I finally understand the principle that human thoughts can continuously create karma, and only by removing the bad thoughts, can karma be eliminated. Everyone has his or her own fate that no one else can control, and all attachments will be in vain. I understand that all the people I have contact with in this world, including my family members, are beings for me to offer salvation to. For their sakes, I need to do well.
I wrote down my experiences to share with those practitioners who are still trapped in "sickness karma" and tell them that the tribulations are caused by our unrighteous thoughts. If we search inward and remove the human thoughts, the "sickness" will disappear instantly, as it is all illusion caused by the evil spirits behind it. If we cannot let go of the attachments and do not cultivate ourselves well, we will lose the opportunity to save sentient beings, and we might even interfere with Master's Fa-rectification. We must be clear about our thoughts and distinguish between what is self and what is not.