(Clearwisdom.net) It has been more than ten years since I started Falun Dafa cultivation practice. Every improvement I achieved on my cultivation path is due to Master's compassionate care. I would like to express my deep gratitude to Master! In this article, I want to report to Master and share my recent cultivation experiences with fellow practitioners about how I learned to use the magical tool of looking inward, which allowed me to cultivate myself more diligently during this last leg of our journey.
Eliminating My Fundamental Attachment
After I started practicing Falun Dafa, I wasn't diligent enough. Before the persecution began on July 20, 1999, I rarely went to group study, although I had done some things to validate the Fa. I always thought of myself as being very high-level and felt very good about myself. Master gave me some hints in my dreams, but I thought that I was so diligent, so why had Master pointed these things out to me? At that time, I didn't understand what Master was hinting at, but I knew I had some deeply-seated problems that were hiding somewhere. Thus, I kept studying the Fa, hoping to find the answer.
When I studied "Towards Consummation" in Essentials for Further Advancement II, I was very surprised. After cultivating myself for more than ten years, I was able to identify other people's fundamental attachments, but failed to find my own. When I was growing up, I always liked other people to praise me and to pay attention to me. My way of thinking was influenced by the communist party culture. After I started cultivation, I knew where my life was going in the future, but I didn't realize that the attachment to fame was my fundamental attachment, and I carried this attachment along in cultivation. I thought that doing things was cultivation, and fame and personal interest was a shortcut towards consummation, and I didn't cultivate my xinxing diligently. After the communist regime started the persecution, I didn't understand the real reason behind the persecution, so I validated the Fa with many human notions. In the end, I was persecuted by the old forces, and I left Dafa and went to Buddhism. But benevolent Master didn't give up on me and helped me return to Dafa. However, when I resumed cultivation I was very far behind in the progress of Fa-rectification. When I wanted to cultivate myself steadfastly and devote myself to doing the three things, I found that I was confused on many issues and had difficulty looking at them from the Fa's perspective.
Master said,
"Those who are attached to their reputations practice an evil way, full of intention. Once they gain renown in this world, they are bound to say good but mean evil, thereby misleading the public and undermining the Fa." ("Cultivators' Avoidances," from Essentials for Further Advancement)
"Some students never eliminated their fundamental attachments, and that is an issue of whether or not they are truly Dafa disciples at a fundamental level." ("Teaching the Fa in San Francisco, 2005")
I now finally realize that I have come to the edge where it is really dangerous for me. I've suddenly understood that during these years after I came back to cultivate in Dafa, my body was persecuted by the old forces, thus my arm and leg have hurt for a long time. Last year a fellow practitioner had symptoms of a stroke. Actually I also had a similar experience at night and I couldn't move my legs. Fortunately I was alerted, and asked Master for help and sent righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil. Master protected me again. But the evil was still watching me, as soon I began slacking off, they used my gaps to interfere with me. I now understand that because I didn't eliminate my fundamental attachment, the evil took advantage of my loophole and persecuted me.
Attachments all derive from pursuit for fame, personal gain and sentimentality, and the ultimate origin of our attachments is selfishness. If we want to cultivate ourselves to be selfless Buddhas, Taos or Gods of the new cosmos, we must completely eliminate the root of selfishness. In order to obtain the Fa, we had suffered countless hardships. Master has now saved us from hell and purified our bodies. He worries about our cultivation and has taken on hardships and karma for us. Why couldn't I simply let go of those attachments to fame, personal gain and sentimentality? After I overcame my fundamental attachment, my other attachments became so obvious that I got rid of them very easily. I have now focused myself and I keep my feet on the ground doing the three things. When I became resolute in my cultivation, the evil that was persecuting me was eliminated.
Looking Inward, and Eliminating the Obstacles Between Fellow Practitioners and Myself
Because I had differences of opinion with other practitioners on how to treat practitioners who had made mistakes, as well as on the issue of assistant centers a year ago, I created some gaps between myself and fellow practitioners, especially with my sister. During that time, practitioners often talked with me and I realized through Fa-study that I wasn't looking at things from the perspective of the Fa. I started to study the Fa together with other practitioners, and we shared our experiences and clarified the truth together, but there was something that made me feel uncomfortable, which was that I thought my sister couldn't let go of the attachment to self, and I misunderstood her for a long time.
When I found my own fundamental attachment and enlightened that I should let go of my selfishness, my sister came and talked with me. We were honest and open with each other, and she told me that I had said something bad about her in front of other practitioners. I was happy for her that she told me about this, but it was also hard for me to really let go of selfishness and accept her criticism.
I remembered Master said that whatever we encounter, we need to look to the Fa and calm down to examine ourselves. Most everyday people thought I was mild, modest, and honest. Actually my post-natal notions had made me very cunning. Whenever people found fault with me, I spared no effort to defend myself, and I also had the problem of speaking ill of other people behind their backs. Furthermore, when conflicts arose I preferred to talk with those practitioners who agreed with me.
After I truly realized I was wrong, I sincerely apologized to those practitioners that I had spoken ill of in the past. By doing this, the obstacles between us were removed. After feeling lonely in the past, I came back to the group again and I felt warm, relaxed and familiar, I am now a particle of the whole body of practitioners.
I enlightened that the reason my cultivation was not very stable was because I didn't study the Fa enough and didn't cultivate my xinxing enough, but most especially because I didn't go to group study very often. I realized that sometimes when I studied the Fa, my heart wasn't pure, and I was very lazy and didn't do the exercises very often. My xinxing improved very slowly and I couldn't keep up with the progress of Fa-rectification.
On May 13 of this year, practitioners shared with us their experiences of looking inward and validating the Fa without human notions. I enlightened that joining group Fa-study denies the persecution by the old forces and is in accordance with the path arranged by Master. It is also the cultivation environment that Master has left to us and what we will leave to the future practitioners. Through group study, it's easier to find our attachments and thus get rid of them. I have formed a Fa-study group with other practitioners, and we study together during our break time after lunch. In the past several months, we've all improved a lot. When we study the Fa, we show respect to Master and the Fa by sitting upright. When we keep our hearts pure and our minds focused while studying the Fa, we are able to understand more and more from the Fa's perspective. I also no longer slack off in doing the exercises. Since I began improving my xinxing, the environment around me has also changed. My husband has become very supportive of me studying the Fa every day, and sometimes he even helps me to clarify the truth to our relatives when I hand out materials.
Saving Sentient Being by Sending Text Messages
Late last year, I started to clarify the truth by sending text messages. During the last ten months, I enlightened that this was a good way to eliminate the poison spread by the CCP lies, and also an opportunity to cultivate myself. When I first picked up my cellphone to send the messages, my heart beat very fast and my hands shook. I felt an invisible pressure that made me very nervous, and my legs were exhausted after I sent just twenty messages. I knew I still had fear, so the next time it did this I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate my attachment before I sent the messages. I gradually became more and more calm and relaxed.
I usually send text messages to the persecutors who have been exposed on the Minghui website (Chinese version of Clearwisdom.net). At first I had hatred towards them, and the messages I sent didn't have a good effect. Most of the replies were the recipients cursing at me. Fellow practitioners pointed out to me that I wasn't compassionate enough and I also enlightened that when I sent the messages, I had a strong mindset of fighting. Then I adjusted my attitude to one of great compassion and treated them as sentient beings that needed to be saved. I persuaded them with compassionate words, and as I continue sending messages I can feel my compassion becoming more and more powerful. Once a police officer in Gansu Province and a head of Hebei Domestic Security Division replied that they had received truth-clarification messages in the past, and helped me forward them to other people. After some other police officers received those messages, some of them decided to quit participating in the persecution. A police department head and a warden once replied to me, "Thank you, I have already quit participating in persecuting practitioners."
Recently I have learned to send recorded phone messages and it has had a very good effect. I called an urban management officer, he was very happy to receive my call and he passed his cellphone to several other people who were with him. Once after a president of a communist party school received my call, he asked his wife to listen to it. I finally realized that it's not easy for overseas practitioners to make truth-clarification calls to China. Actually all practitioners in China and overseas are one body and we should work together.
We have suffered countless hardships throughout history to obtain the Fa, and we've also enjoyed honor and splendor. We have now taken on huge responsibilities and come here to fulfill our prehistoric vows. I will cultivate myself well on the last leg of our cultivation road and live up to the name of a Falun Dafa disciple and the glory Master gives us. Thank you Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!