(Clearwisdom.net) We all have different cultivation paths and play different roles in the Fa-rectification. I have not had many tribulations in my life from contact with relatives, colleagues, and friends over the years. Most of my tests, ordeals, and problems happened while coordinating with fellow practitioners and caused me a lot of frustration. As I continued to identify my attachments, I could see how my performance directly affected other practitioners. I felt that coordinating was a heavy responsibility.

I identified my attachments to showing off, zealotry, accomplishing things, pursuit of achievements, jealousy, and having a competitive mentality. I also did not pay much attention to the tribulations of my fellow practitioners and did not consider others' feelings. I have always been firm on one thing: gods walk the path they choose. Therefore, I persisted in what I was doing and vowed to continue to the end. Practitioners have completed many things with my coordination. However, I realized that I had been validating myself in the process. Although I clearly knew that “cultivation depends on one’s own efforts while the transformation of gong is done by the master” (Zhuan Falun), I needed to walk away from the selfish principles of the old universe. Here, I would like to describe this process.

Before I fully realized that I needed to treat fellow practitioners kindly—treat them with the kindest gestures, take good care of everyone, speak to them and communicate using a soft and pleasant tone of voice, and be tolerant—I had to warn and remind myself about how to behave. As a result, I only achieved this behavior superficially and often felt uneasy in my heart. I was going through the motions for the sake of getting things done, but conflicts and inconsistency still occurred, and my attachments were still there. Then I asked myself: Why was this happening?

I looked inward and found that my compassion came with a purpose, human notions, and the aim of achieving my goal of doing the job well. Only then did I realize that I should treat fellow practitioners with real compassion and truly be good to them. However, when I encountered repeated conflicts with fellow practitioners over a period of time, I got impatient again.

I said to myself that I should have eternal mercy and be consistent, even if fellow practitioners misunderstood me or confronted me. I did not change my behavior, and they did not participate in the group Fa study. I called them one by one, over and over again, or discussed with them face to face. I did not look for results, but continued to be consistent. I also regularly sent forth righteous thoughts to clear away evil elements that hindered these practitioners from joining the group Fa study. I did this without any pursuit; I simply did what I was supposed to, and I felt a lot more at ease this way.

However, another situation then emerged. Other practitioners still said that I always looked down on them, did not understand them, and could not achieve good results. I was really puzzled and wondered about how to correct the situation. I wanted to meet the requirements of my fellow practitioners but did not know how to improve and did not dare to share that in front of everyone. Why was it so? I certainly knew that I had problems—that's why fellow practitioners kindly reminded me of my shortcomings. I kept looking inward but could not find the problem. I felt helpless.

I thought a non-practitioner might be able to help me, so I asked one of my ordinary friends, “Can you tell me what my issues are, so that I can correct them?” He replied, “I really do not want to analyze others and only want to focus on my work.” His reply inspired me, and I suddenly understood that I had an attachment to analyzing others and caring too much about how others felt about me. My heart was moved when others were moved, as if my cultivation was done for the purpose of getting recognition from others and for achieving success by doing things. I had not achieved the pure state of silently doing things and had not completely given up my attachment to pursuit.

I then realized that I should not value or be moved by others' opinions of me. I needed to constantly improve myself and do well; I should not be moved when I do not do well temporarily, but instead correct my shortcomings and continue to do well. That is genuine cultivation! Any practice established on attachments, on the other hand, is false and won't have a good result.

One morning while doing the sitting meditation and feeling sleepy, I suddenly saw the words “give up.” Startled, my thinking became clear and focused. I realized that I needed to give up all pursuits, be completely unattached to self, and not practice for the sake of gaining a good reputation or to be perfect in the eyes of others. I needed to walk on the path of genuine cultivation, be solid and honorable, and reach the level of “no self.”

Teacher said,

“As practitioners, you won’t fight back when you’re beaten or sworn at.” (Zhuan Falun)

Now I really do not care if others hit or swear at me. I got rid of another layer of my fundamental attachments, and the road ahead is even broader and more expansive.

Teacher said:

“But true improvements come from letting go, not from gaining.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A.”)

I can't go against Teacher's Fa; I shall conform to Teacher's Fa. I've found a solid cultivation state through this series of xinxing improvements. I confidently say to Teacher in my heart, “Teacher, rest assured. I will do well.” I will continue forward on my cultivation path, gaining understanding step by step.

This is my limited understanding. Please kindly correct anything improper. Thank you.