(Clearwisdom.net) Hard Times prior to Dafa cultivation
I am a new practitioner who obtained the Fa in 2007. My daughter has cerebral palsy. She was not able to sit, crawl, or stand until she was almost four years old. She still had crooked legs, with heels barely touching the ground. When she was little she could usually be seen stumbling and wobbling, knocking herself out and getting a black eyes or bruises.
When she was two I took her to see a doctor who told me that it was very unlikely my daughter would recover throughout her life. Astounded, I went home, without knowing how I got back. My tears never dried since then, and I started a long journey of visiting all kinds of doctors, including both Western Medicine and Chinese Medicine, acupuncturists and masseuses. The odor of Chinese herbs was pungent enough for an adult, let alone a child of two. It often happened that I had to force her to take the herbs; she would vomit every day. I also hand-made a few pieces of therapeutic equipment, and devised a set of regimens for her. No matter how harsh the weather was, the two of us would go jogging in the morning. When she got tired from running I told her to stand against a wall, placing bricks under her toes, and encouraged her to stretch her legs, trying to reach her heels to the floor. We would often climb up steep river-banks. She went ahead of me. I trailed behind, arms stretched out, lest she would fall. The hardest time came when she was learning to ride a bicycle. It tested my patience and persistence. Learning to ride the bicycle got her a bruise on her arm that refused to leave for a long time. I puffed and huffed, totally exhausted, running after her as she rode the bike.
My daughter had surgery when she turned 13. Her doctor complimented me on my effort in engaging her in physical therapy, and said that her body was well-developed, free from the oft-seen symptom of paralysis found in cerebral palsy patients. The surgery almost killed her. I did not sleep for three days. It was then that I got a bone spur and lumbar disc disease. I still needed to take my own graduation test when she got out of the hospital. People then could see me climb up five floors to the examination room, my tall daughter on my back, and her leg in a plaster cast. I had to refrain from drinking water so as to minimize bathroom visits.
My daughter's physical conditions greatly improved after the surgery, so much so that she was able to take care of herself. Our experiences often made me wonder why life was so cruel to us, and why we had to suffer all that without harming anyone in our lifetime. Her illness, the mental torment and financial pressure was way too weighty on a single mother. In retrospect I can barely imagine how we managed to pull through.
The time I took my daughter everywhere in search for treatment was the same time Master toured the nation, giving lectures. Yet, somehow we did not obtain the Fa then, perhaps because the time was not yet right. One of my friends took me to practice Taiji, and right next to the Taiji site was a Falun Gong practice site. Looking back, I am full of regrets over how come I did not go for Dafa instead of Taiji. What good did it do me that I was well versed in Taiji and even became a trainer for a time? I wish I could have gotten into Dafa from day one.
Obtaining Dafa
In 1998, the eve of my daughter entering high school, I was married in Taiwan. Nine years after I moved to Taiwan, Master sent the key to Dafa's door from far away Mainland China. A younger lady from my hometown, a veteran practitioner, was also married to a Taiwanese, and became my neighbor. We immediately became close friends. With her encouragement I finally read the precious book (Zhuan Falun) that I should have read more than a decade ago. Reading the book was akin to opening a door, wherein all my puzzles and doubts, things that I had been pondering without an answer, were clarified. As I read the book I vaguely felt that a new era was coming. My friend was surprised to hear my reaction. She asked how I could be so sensitive without even having finished the book. I replied that I had no idea; yet, I had a hunch.
Over the Chinese New Year holidays, my daughter came to visit me. We studied the Fa and exercised together. Shortly after obtaining the Fa, when she crossed her palms in front of her abdomen, she saw golden light between her palms. This vision reinforced her will to cultivate.
To tell the truth, my initial motive to learn Dafa was for the sake of my daughter, for her own recovery. I even thought as long as my daughter could be fully healed, it did not matter if I learned it or not, and that I was learning to keep her company. To my great surprise, after reading Dafa books, things that had been bothering me for years - sinusitis, gingivitis, fasciitis, gastropathy, bone spur, and a herniated lumber disc, and arthritis - all disappeared. I stopped my frequent visit to the doctors.
Not until that time had I realized how valuable this book was! From then on I read the book avidly, as a sponge soaking up water, and became diligent in my practice. It was no small wonder that for someone like me who had never crossed her legs I was able to do the double-leg-cross sitting meditation from day one. At first I could not sit long. I increased the length of sitting time gradually. Well into two months I was able to sit for 30 min; another two months passed and I got to 45 min; still another two months went by and I could do it for one hour. I would not uncross my legs even if I sweated with pain. The pain (in cross-leg-sitting) completely went away after seven months of practice.
In terms of xinxing tests, I often tell my practitioner friend that I was ready for them, and how come I had not seen any yet. Then, unexpectedly, one day my employer, who used to be good to me, got mad at me and threw a tantrum. My first reaction was she was not feeling very well, going through menopause and all that, and that I needed to have empathy. Even though I felt upset, and was certain I did not make any mistake on my part, I did not argue with her and just let it pass. Discussing this matter with my practitioner friend later made me realize that Master arranged a xinxing test for me when I was off guard.
It was easy for me to pass the test of lust. Whenever such tests appeared in my dream I would remind myself that I am a practitioner, that I should not tolerate such messy stuff. These kinds of dreams have stopped happening.
A while ago I felt pain again in my lumbar area, which numbed my left leg. The whole thing resembled the scenario when I had a herniated lumbar disc prior to practicing Dafa. At first I figured I was repaying karma, and paid little heed to that. One week later it was still there, hurting me. Then it dawned on me that I should look inside to for my shortcomings.
Just around that time my practitioner friend visited me. As we chatted she mentioned, "little children were born into a Dafa family to obtain the Fa."
All of a sudden it woke me up, that I had been ignoring my younger daughter. She was almost nine years old, and I had not yet put Fa study for her on the agenda. Right there and then I said to Master in my heart that I would teach my younger daughter to study the Fa, and that I would do a good job leading Master's little disciple. Surprisingly, that very same day the lumbar pain lessened and died out in two days.
I am still having karmic retribution now. My elbow started to hurt again and has been like this for a few months. It is different from my lumbar pain that completely disabled me, so that I could not even hold a broomstick. The karma elimination symptom I am going through now is only evident when I am off work; my elbow does not hurt when I am at work. Besides, the pain can be alleviated with practice.
Doing the Three Things Well
I know from studying the Fa that we are Fa-rectification-period Dafa disciples. We have a historical task to offer sentient beings salvation. Doing the three things well is not only our mission but a process through which we establish our mighty virtue on our path to consummation. Consequently, I promote the beauty of Dafa to whoever I meet, and use my own story as an example to clarify the truth to my family members in Mainland China. On the Internet I validate the Fa to my friends and relatives in China, helping them quit the CCP, posting to various blogs (my daily quota of blog-posting is set at over 300). If I happen to go to a wedding or meet people from Mainland China, I encourage them to quit the CCP organizations.
Never for one day do I not study the Fa, do the exercises, or send righteous thoughts. With so little time left, considering I am a new practitioner, how could I catch up with the process of Fa-rectification unless I am diligent? How could I live up to Master's effort in saving me if I do not reach consummation? My priority now is to cultivate myself well and do a good job leading the little disciple (my younger daughter). Career and money have taken a back seat. I want to let go of all attachments to reach consummation.
Nowadays I study Fa with my younger daughter for more than half an hour and do one set of exercises with her. She has understood the importance of following Master's teachings. When daily Fa study time comes around, she will take the initiative to take up the book and study; she has understood the significance of cultivation.
Repaying Master's Grace by Being Diligent
My world view has changed significantly since I obtained the Fa. I used to set my mind on making more money to have a worry-free old age. I used to consider myself lucky if I found valuable things on the street. Now I understand that as a practitioner, I need to let go of all kinds of attachments, cultivate my xinxing and exercise frequently; that is, live according to the standards of a cultivator. Some of my friends who have seen the changes in me started to read Dafa books as well.
To reflect on this whole process, even though I came to Dafa fairly late, with the guidance of Dafa, with Master's protection, plus the good cultivation environment in Taiwan, I cannot help but feel that my cultivation has been made so much easier! Whenever I gaze upon Master's portrait, tears well up and flow down my cheeks. I cannot help thinking how fortunate I am! I am fortunate, indeed! We should move forward diligently on this divine cultivation path, do the three things well, and reach consummation. Only by so doing can we not fail to live up to Master's expectation for us. Thank you Master.