(Clearwisdom.net) For a while, I often had conflicts with another practitioner. I felt the conflict was caused by her jealousy of me. We both worked on the production of truth-clarification materials. Because I had computer skills, I quickly learned how to download and make materials. In the past, we relied on others to download and as a result, information was delayed. We shared the same resources. Since I had learned how to make materials myself, I always sent them to her when I joined their Fa study group. However, she looked very hesitant.

A while ago, the Minghui website introduced the Voice of Minghui Weekly. I told practitioners about it. The effect was good so I also recommended it to her group. She first said that they did not need it because others could read to the only practitioner in her group who was not well-educated. I told her that I would always read the articles online, then read the printout one more time, and that I still got a lot from listening to the audio version. However, she told me several days later that they could not do it because of the noise while making the materials. She also said that my laptop was slower than an old computer. Hearing this, I felt very unhappy although I did not say anything.

I looked inside and found my own attachment of showing off, validating myself and not being willing to hear negative comments. My attachments caused her reactions.

Practitioners all know that other people's responses are a mirror of ourselves. Was I jealous? However, I just could not find it and was troubled by it. During the group Fa study, when I shared my understanding on doing the three things, I said that we should do both clarifying the truth face to face and making truth-clarifying materials. Another practitioner emphasized that we should focus on clarifying the truth face to face.

While I was sharing my opinions and thought that I had a good understanding of this issue, I heard this different voice. I could not take it and responded sarcastically, "Even if I don't clarify the truth face to face, I still made more people withdraw from the Chinese Communist Party." Others were shocked to hear this. I was also surprised. How could I have said this? I immediately realized that I was wrong - the attachments of fighting, showing off and validating myself were all exposed. This was the true manifestation of my attachments.

Today I read the article "Further Elimination of Attachments" in Essentials for Further Advancement. Teacher says,

"Dafa belongs to the entire universe, and not to any one, insignificant individual. Whoever does the work is spreading Dafa. It is not important whether it should be done by you or by others. Are you going to bring to a paradise this attachment that you cannot let go of, and contend with Buddhas? Nobody should treat Dafa as his own exclusive thing. Get rid of that thought that you've been treated unfairly! When your mind cannot get over something, isn't it caused by your attachment? Our students shouldn't think that this has nothing to do with them!"

It was suddenly very clear to me - I finally found my hidden jealousy! In the past, I always felt that I studied the Fa more and cultivated better than others, so how could I be jealous of them? In fact, these are all human notions! Teacher wants me to improve by giving me hints through practitioners!

March 16, 2009