(Clearwisdom.net) The decline of morality in society has pushed many beings to the brink of destruction. Before I began practicing, I was also polluted. Jealousy, hatred, competitiveness, and greed took turns controlling me. They were like demons that summoned problems into my life. I had conflicts with my husband and coworkers. My health was deteriorating. I was suffering yet did not know how to change the situation. I sought various doctors and drugs, as well as qigong practices to improve my health, with no success. I had lost hope in life.
In the summer of 1997, a relative told me about a practice called Falun Gong. He said it was an excellent practice different from all other qigong practices, and gave me a copy of the book Zhuan Falun. After I returned home, I finished it in one sitting. I couldn't believe such a great book existed in this world. This precious book changed my life. I understood why my life was full of suffering before - it was due to the karma I accumulated while lost in this world. Falun Dafa taught me the purpose of my life. I read the Dafa books countless times. My body was purified by it. Master scooped me up from hell and washed me clean. He guided me to the path of cultivation. No human words could express my gratitude to Master. The only thing I could do was to cultivate well.
1. Passing the Test of Illness Karma; Master Helped Me Cleanse My Body
I began practicing in 1997. I went with some other new practitioners to watch the Master's lectures on video. After we completed the video, the local coordinators taught us the exercises. Every evening after work, I went there to study the Fa and do the exercises. There were 50 to 60 people at our practice site. When we watched the lectures, everyone was quiet and we left the better seats to others. Those that came late walked quietly. It was as though it was a different world, beyond the human realm. I felt a calmness that I had never experienced before. It was the purest energy field bestowed by Dafa to the practitioners. After group study and practice, I had to walk a long way home by myself, but I was not afraid at all. Instead, I felt very light, as though I was flying.
However, when it came to genuine cultivation, things were not so easy. After practicing Dafa for a while, Master took care of me and eliminated a lot of my karma. One day, my stomach hurt so much that I couldn't take it anymore. I knew it was a test for me, so I read the article "Sickness Karma" from Essentials for Further Advancement. Because I didn't study the Fa as much and had confused thoughts on the Fa principles, even when I was reading, I was only paying attention to the words on the surface. I did not see the true inner meanings of the Fa. In the end, I went to the hospital and had surgery to remove my appendix. I failed this test. After the operation, the doctor said that it was only a minor infection, and I would have been fine had I not come in for the operation. It showed that it was my attachment to fear that caused this illness.
Later, I experienced more sickness karma. In the middle of the night, I began vomiting and suffering from diarrhea. This happened several times. I remembered Master's words,
"I told you in my Fa lectures that this is to eliminate your karma and to improve your enlightenment quality while eliminating the karma from your different previous lives. Besides, this is also to test whether you are determined in following Dafa" ("Sickness Karma," Essentials for Further Advancement).
As my thoughts were righteous, I was able to make it through. The next day, I went to work as if nothing happened. Another time, I was vomiting in the middle of the night again. I felt so weak I could not even stand up in the bathroom. I felt as though I was being suffocated. But this time, it was different from before. I knew the evil was persecuting me. I said in my heart, "Master, save me." Immediately, my situation improved. It was like a miracle. Now, through studying the Fa, I realized that it wasn't a coincidence. The karmic debt I accumulated from before needed to be repaid. I also needed to eliminate my attachments. Only then could I improve. Before practicing, I was very particular about what I ate. I cared about the nutritional value of foods, and liked fresh and live things. As a result, I also accumulated a lot of karma this way. Although I was practicing, I did not treat it as an attachment before. I was still acting like an ordinary person. Whenever I read in the paper a certain food was good and could cure a certain disease, or that something should be avoided, I paid attention. I also told my coworkers and family members. What a strong attachment it was! Looking back, I did not treat myself as a practitioner. I thought some combination of ordinary people's food could bring me good health. Wasn't this the same as taking medicine when feeling discomfort? Wasn't I acting the same as an ordinary person? I needed to take this matter very seriously, as it showed that I lacked faith in Master and the Fa. If I didn't change, the evil could take advantage and persecute me. Now I am no longer attached to food. I eat whatever we have in our house. Master cleansed my body after seeing that I had enlightened to this principle. Since then, I haven't vomited in the middle of the night.
Another time, in a dream, I saw Master pulled off a human-shaped thing that was attached to my body. The creature was shouting, "Mother, mother." I knew it was the life I owed to the baby that I had removed through abortion. Master resolved this for me in a kind way. Since then, my body has become much lighter. I feel as though I am a different person. I thank Master for everything he has done for me. He changed me from a person full of karma to a person of purity who is on a divine path. I will be more diligent in my cultivation to return Master's mercy.
2. On the Path of True Cultivation
In 2004, I read Master's article "Be Clearheaded". Master said,
"The old forces have arranged for all Dafa disciples a set of their things, so if a Dafa disciple doesn't follow Master's requirements, he must be following the old forces' arrangements. The old forces are in essence gigantic trials and tribulations that accompany you at all times, focused on whether in Fa-rectification Dafa disciples are able to step forward."
"If after going through this ordeal some students are still not clearheaded, then they will miss [the opportunities presented in] all of this."
After reading this passage, and with the encouragement of fellow practitioners, I decided to step forward to clarify the facts.
As Fa-rectification period Falun Dafa disciples, we are not just focused on personal cultivation. We also need to validate the Fa and save sentient beings. This is denying the old forces' arrangement, and is the path arranged by Master. So I threw myself into it. I first made sure that I studied the Fa well, and then stepped forward to clarify the facts. I mainly distributed truth-clarification materials at night. A fellow practitioner thought I might have an attachment to fear, so she only gave me a few brochures. I treasured them and put them in my pocket. It was winter and very cold. After work, I went directly to the apartment buildings to distribute materials. I was very excited, because I knew I was doing something sacred. But when I entered the building, fear took over. I felt that my legs were soft, and my hands shaky. I forgot that I was doing something great by saving people. All I could think of was to finish distributing the papers and go home. Thinking back, because of my fear, the results must have been poor. Wouldn't ordinary people who read the brochures also feel fear? After repeated practice and tribulations, with Master's help, I am now able to validate the Fa with dignity.
For a while, I depended on a fellow practitioner to give me the materials, so she had to carry extra. Over time, I realized that I should be considerate of her, and should make materials myself. In "Let Go of Human Attachments and Save the World's People", Master said,
"This is especially so for the Dafa disciples in Mainland China: each must come out and clarify the truth, bringing it to every field and valley, mountain and hill, not omitting a single area where there are people."
I happened to have an old computer at home. So I bought a printer and learned from a fellow practitioner how to access materials online and make truth-clarification brochures. The burden on fellow practitioners was lifted. I also learned how to make booklets and copies of the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party. Now I bring my own materials everywhere, and am quite proud of it. When I am handing out materials, I say in my heart, "To fulfill Master's wishes, I am here to save you. You have to read the material. You must be saved." In the last few years, under Master's protection, we have been handing out materials regardless of weather or the political climate. We have not encountered any danger. Thank you Master!
3. Miracles Will Happen if You Have the Will to Save People
One day, in a dream, I saw a person that I rarely thought about. In my dream, I was standing beside her, and a voice from a building behind me said, "Save people." I used to work with her, and have tried to clarify the facts about the persecution and persuade her to quit the Communist Party. But due to various delays, she retired before I had a chance to talk in depth with her. The day after I had the dream, as I was leaving work, I saw her on the street just outside of the gate to my workplace. We walked home together. Although it was only about 200 meters (1/8 mile), I told her that I saw her in my dream, and that a voice said I needed to talk to her. I asked her if she had heard of Falun Gong and she said yes. I told her that Falun Gong practitioners are good people, and that the slanderous TV reports were false. The CCP committed a crime by persecuting Falun Gong, and it will be destroyed. She must withdraw from the CCP if she wanted a good future. She said someone else had told her the same thing, but she did not follow through. I told her that she had a predestined relationship, and that she shouldn't miss the opportunity again. She smiled and agreed to withdraw from the CCP. I was delighted that she could be saved.
Another time, I went to another city to attend a wedding of a relative of mine. This was a good opportunity to clarify the facts. Before I went, I sent forth righteous thoughts towards that location. Indeed, I was able to clarify the facts well. One CCP member, one Communist Youth League member, and one Youth Pioneer member decided to withdraw from the organizations. Another person with no Communist Party affiliation also learned the facts.
There was another relative to whom I had not had a chance to clarify the facts. He used to be the supervisor of a railroad segment before he retired. I regretted missing the opportunity. One day, however, he came to see us off at the train station just before we boarded the train. I was anxious. Perhaps Master saw that I had the heart to save people, so he helped me. My relative walked with me on the platform and said that his health was not good. He wanted to by a massage cushion. He knew that I had spent 40,000 yuan (approximately $5,000) on a cushion, and wanted to know how I liked mine. I told him it was a scam, and that he shouldn't buy it. The reason why my health was so good was because I practiced Falun Gong. I told him that he should start saying "Falun Dafa is good; Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good." I also said he should follow Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance in his daily life. His health would gradually improve. I told him that to ensure a good future, he must withdraw from all Communist organizations, because they have been persecuting Falun Gong. I asked if he wanted to withdraw from the CCP. He said firmly that he did. He told me his father was killed by the CCP during the Cultural Revolution, so he was well aware of the evilness of the CCP. Many such lives are waiting for us to save them. Master is also waiting for us to save these people who have come from high levels but are lost in the human world. Master has arranged for us so many opportunities to save people and establish mighty virtue.
4. Study the Fa as a Group and Improve Together
At first there were only two people in our study group. Then it grew to six. We got together three times a week to study, and distributed informational materials on the weekends. Our Fa study group provided an environment to study the Fa as well as cultivate our xinxing. We usually read the Fa in unison. When we read, some people were loud, some were quiet, some were fast, and some were slow. It took a while for us to all be able to read as one voice. This process also reflected our xinxing improvements. For example, those that read well had the mentality of showing off. People blamed each other for reading too fast or too slow. Some looked down on others who missed or misread words. After a period of Fa study, everyone was harmonized by the compassion of the Fa. We learned to tolerate each other, and read better as a group.
Thanks to group study, we made fast improvements in our understanding of the Fa principles. Our bodies were transformed quickly. Our righteous thoughts were strengthened. Whenever we had any issue with cultivation, family relationships, fact-clarification, or various other tests we encountered, we all shared with the study group. We helped the practitioners whose cultivation state was not good by brainstorming together and helping them find their issues and solutions.
For a while, I didn't study the Fa very much and could not let go of ordinary people's emotions. Before I practiced, I had a lot of attachment to my husband. I treated him as my personal possession and did not allow him to do many things such as coming home late or drinking with friends. My husband complained that he had no freedom. He didn't want to hear the facts of the persecution. Since I couldn't let go of my attachment to him, I failed the tests, and our marriage was in jeopardy. Once because I complained about something, he hit me really hard. I went to the Fa study group and shared with fellow practitioners. I wondered why my life was full of suffering. My feeling was actually because of the fear of losing my husband's love and of loneliness. This was a strong selfish motive and was very dangerous. A fellow practitioner told me that I paid too much attention to my emotional attachment, and regarded it as a kind of suffering without letting it go. I should have treated it as an opportunity to improve my xinxing. Master's lectures awoke me. Since then, I decided to let go of my attachment and treat my husband as a sentient being with whom I needed to be compassionate. I learned to trust him and care about him. Now, as long as he doesn't say anything bad about Dafa, I do not argue with him. Instead, I look inward to see whether I have done anything wrong. I treat it as an opportunity for me to improve xinxing. Now we have almost no arguments. The practitioners in my area take turns hosting the Fa study group, and my husband does not object when it's my turn to host. He even told us to watch out for our safety. The Fa study group has brought us so many benefits. Everything we do, we do as a group and leave nobody behind.
Having practiced for 12 years, I have so many things to say. This is the first time I have written an article to Minghui/Clearwisdom. It took me a long time to make up my mind to write this article. I have seen many articles by other practitioners, and have come to the understanding that our articles are a way to report to Master the progress of our cultivation, validate the Fa, disintegrate the evil, and encourage each other. I finally broke through the barriers imposed by myself and wrote the article. Please kindly point out anything that is lacking.