(Clearwisdom.net) I started to practice Falun Gong in 2003. That year, my 39-year life journey seemed to have reached an impasse: I was suffering from Hepatitis B and could not sleep at night. All my fingernails were full of black lines. When the seasons changed each year, I was the first one to catch a cold. Due to severe rheumatoid arthritis, I dared not expose myself to wind or cold water. Even when it was summer, as soon as I was exposed to wind, a chill would run through my body. As soon as I touched cold water, I would feel sharp pains in my back, like being stabbed with needles. My vision also became blurred. Particularly serious was my loss of memory. What was even more bothersome to endure was that my head, which was covered with tiny bumps, itched unbearably. It got to the point that I felt I'd be better off dead.
In September 2003, I was given a copy of Falun Gong. I was eager to see the effect on my health, so I started to practice the Falun Gong exercises by imitating Master's movements, without actually reading the book. Once I started practicing the exercises, I experienced the supernormal capability of the celestial ear, and I could hear different sounds. I did not understand anything about cultivation at that time and became very frightened: I did not dare to practice the exercises anymore. I hid the book. Eleven months later, the person who gave me the book, a colleague of mine, came and asked me if I had read it. I then told her everything that had happened. She suggested that I should read the book first and then start practicing the exercises. She also said that everything that had happened to me were good things.
With my studying the Fa and practicing the exercises, Master constantly purified my body. Even though I could not see what was happening to me, I could hear and feel it. Within a year, I truly felt what having no illnesses and feeling light meant. I could not describe my happiness in words. My husband did not know about all these changes. Because he was a Chinese Communist Party (CCP) Secretary in a plant, he was afraid of new things, and he always thought that I was naive and could be easily deceived.
In 2004, a fellow practitioner told me that Master asked us to expose the persecution and offer people salvation. Who should be the first person whom I could clarify the facts to? I thought of my husband. Yes. One evening after dinner, I started to practice the exercises in my bedroom, and I asked my husband to come watch. He immediately asked in a low voice, "What are you doing?" I said gently, "Practicing the exercises." "What exercises do you practice?" "Falun Gong." Hearing my reply, he said nervously, "Do you know that the government is very strict on this?" "I know. Aren't you my husband?"
After I finished the exercises, my child had already fallen asleep. My husband turned off the television and walked up to me. Due to his fear, he said in a low voice, "How long have you practiced?" "Less than a year." "Don't you know that you could be fired or sent to a labor camp for practicing Falun Gong? You still have time. For this family, for our child, and for your own future, stop practicing."
Hearing these words, I could not hold back my tears. I said, "My future, do I still have a future? I might not even have my life. What future do I have? I had all kinds of illnesses. This is not something you do not know about. Furthermore, Falun Gong is good. The CCP is framing and persecuting Falun Gong. You know this. Now I have no illnesses anymore. Today I live as a normal person." "It is still not OK!" he shouted. "I would rather you die than let you practice Falun Gong."
I said, "Die. I will not die. And what you say does not count." "Whose words count?" "My Master's words count, because Master has given me a second life." Unexpectedly, I did not shed any more tears.
In 2008, my husband voluntarily withdrew from the CCP. He told me, "I believe Falun Gong is good. However, I want you to practice at home, and not go outside to talk about it." I comforted him, saying that everything would be alright. As long as I listen to and follow Master's words, no one would dare to hurt me.
The second group of people I talked to about Falun Gong was my friends. One couple are elementary school teachers. Because I did not pay enough attention to sending forth righteous thoughts, they betrayed me, and the police came to my home to harass me. But this did not make me waver. Fellow practitioners asked me to calm down and study the Fa, cultivate away my human notions, and spend more time sending forth righteous thoughts. During future truth-clarification efforts, I sometimes did well, but sometimes I held various attachments like an agitated mind or an attachment to results. But I got through it all safely with Master's protection.
This summer, some fellow practitioners and I went to a place about 30 kilometers away to expose the persecution. When we came back, it was already after 7:00 p.m. Motorcycles were speeding on the road, and there were a lot of people outside. Suddenly, a feeling of loneliness came over me and I thought, "Being a practitioner involves too much suffering." At that instant, a sentence from Master Li came to mind:
"Great enlightened beings fear no hardship,
Their will is cast of diamond." ("Righteous Thought, Righteous Action" in Hong Yin II)
So I immediately eliminated this notion.
It is true. That bit of suffering means nothing. In that moment, I felt that my heart was as broad as heaven and earth. My heart was shouting in the desert, "Master, I do not feel suffering, not a bit! Please do not worry about us!"