(Clearwisdom.net) I am a young woman practitioner who obtained the Fa in 1996. One night after I had first started practicing, I had a dream. In that dream, I was a tiger king in a world of flying tigers. I had a pair of large and splendid wings. One day, the flying tiger world began to experience problems. Because of this I was forced to leave my world, and go to the world called Earth to fly, circumnavigation around the Earth. This circumnavigation would be very beneficial for the world of flying tigers. Before coming to this Earth, I understood that the trip was to be very dangerous, but I firmly believed that I would return safely to my world. I sadly parted with the Queen (who also had a pair of large wings). I knew the trip ahead of me was full of difficulties and risks. The real trip was even harder than I had anticipated. In my dream, I could even feel the thick blocks of clouds that were difficult to break through. Several times during the trip, unable to stand the hardships anymore, I had the thought of giving up. However, the earnest belief and trust that the sentient beings on the flying-tiger world and the Queen had in me drove me to recover my determination to keep going. Eventually I succeeded and successfully returned to the flying-tiger world!
Only now that I am in the process of cultivation does that dream make more sense to me now. First of all, I came here to obtain the Fa with a mission. Secondly, every step on the path of cultivation is difficult. In the meantime, the essence of Dafa surpasses everything, Master reveals the heavenly secrets to us gradually.
Staggering on the path of assisting Master in Fa-rectification
When Dafa was slandered, I had felt unsure and was not steadfast. It was not until 2003 when I totally rectified myself and came back on the path. In May 2003, we started to read Minghui/Clearwisdom website articles online with the help of anti-Internet blockade software. In November, we bought our first printer, and started our family truth-clarification materials production site. Back then, we would print materials every evening for ourselves and a few other practitioners. The ink cartridge was too small, and we had to refill it frequently. Sometimes we did not have time to let the ink set before we started printing again. That poor, little, no-brand printer worked with us for a year, during which time, the ink box had been refilled at least a hundred times. It has set a glorious record for the life of its kind.
For a while, we did not have enough volunteer coordinators in our local area. The situation has improved since last year because more and more practitioners have realized that we all truly need to walk our own cultivation paths. More and more have stepped forward to become active and are willing to take on more tasks. When all practitioners are focused on one major task, we can cooperate better as a group.
In 2003 and 2004, both my husband and I intended to enhance the communication among fellow practitioners. Master probably saw our mind for He arranged many opportunities for us. For example, when some practitioners were being persecuted and we were looking for witnesses, we came across this practitioner on the street who happened to be looking for some practitioners to help him expose that same case on the Internet. On another occasion, when we were trying to find out if there was a spy hidden in our group, a practitioner asked us to fix his computer for him. It "happened" that he was the one who had the first-hand information on that person. Master also helped us to identify certain persecutors and view their photos when we were randomly searching on-line. It happened exactly at the right time so that we could be the first to post their pictures on-line as persecutors of Falun Gong. This way fellow practitioners could mail letters to them, or call them to clarify the truth to them. When we experienced problems as a group, Master would arrange us to meet with some fellow practitioners who had a better understanding of the Fa. After sharing and exchanging our thoughts, we would try again to discuss the same matter. In the past few years, many similar incidents had occurred numerous times, through which we have experienced Master's immeasurable wisdom and boundless mercy. Our small wishes have met with Master's approval. During the process however, there were times when we also developed the attachments of conceit, and hence we were less focused. However, when this occurred, we would remind each other to remain diligent, and also remind ourselves that fulfilling Dafa tasks could not replace actual cultivation. Instead, we should improve ourselves while working on Dafa tasks. By doing so, we are fulfilling our responsibilities as genuine disciples of Master.
A lesson learned the hard way
On March 8, 2006, the organ harvesting activities being carried out by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) were exposed to the world. I was stunned when I first saw the news on-line. From this I gained an even deeper understanding of our Fa-rectification cultivation and the responsibilities that Dafa practitioners carry. The vicious old forces in the universe have indeed reached a hysterical state. It would rather destroy itself than allow others to succeed. But, confronted with the righteous power of Falun Dafa, its cruelty can only meet with its own destruction. For us real practitioners, our foundation can never be shaken. Dafa is developing the most righteous path for human society from the top down. From that day on, to protect the Fa from being slandered, to keep fellow practitioners from being persecuted, and to save sentient beings, I decided to use every opportunity possible to expose and dissolve the vicious forces.
My husband and I began a wide-range truth-clarification project. It was an intensive effort, and a tedious project. At that time, we would start working on the project as soon as we got home from work. We frequently worked till 1 to 2 in the morning. Sometimes when we were very busy, we would slack off studying the Fa or doing the exercises. Hence, whenever I started working on the project, I would feel dizzy and see sparkles before my eyes. This would happen during day time as well. The first few times this happened, I would send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil forces. However, as time went by, my righteous thoughts didn't seem to be working, and I started to slack off. In retrospect, when I think back on this, I still feel scared. The dark minions and rotten demons glared menacingly at us the entire time, because what we were doing pointed directly at their elimination. How could we dare to just use ordinary human courage to achieve that righteous goal without sending strong and powerful righteous thoughts? Towards the end of the project, our cultivation situation was not correct. We could not even sit down while studying the Fa. If we did, we would easily fall asleep. We would even fall asleep when we were standing and reading. Finally, it did not matter if we were reading or listening to the Fa, we would even lose track of where we were reading. It was even worse when we sent forth righteous thoughts. As soon as we sat down, we would fall asleep for at least 30 minutes.
Although, my husband and I eventually finished the project and reached our goal, the losses were painful as well. All of our fellow practitioners in one materials distribution site associated with us were arrested, and later sentenced to forced labor. The evil prison guards found out from those arrested practitioners about us teaching them computer technology. Yet, under Master's protection, the police failed to find us. Some fellow practitioners suggested that we hide for a while, but we understood that we should not acknowledge the evils' arrangement. We did not leave home. Instead, we should believe in Master and the Fa. We should walk our cultivation path in a dignified and upright manner. Therefore, we asked Master to intensify our power to help us dissolve all of the kinds of persecution arranged by the old forces. We would only walk the path arranged by Master. We remained in our normal life and jobs in order to save sentient beings. After making that decision, we saw Master smiling at us from his portrait. At that very moment, we felt calm, warm and comfortable. All the dark clouds vanished.
After that tribulation, we learned that doing Dafa tasks cannot replace actual cultivation. We also learned that believing in Master and the Fa is the safest path for us. In addition, we started to emphasize the quality of our righteous thoughts.
Husbands and wives are also fellow practitioners
Many fellow practitioners told me that I treated my husband very harshly. It showed that my xinxing was bad at home. Being aware of this myself, I studied the Fa, and understood that I had let my competitive mentality, and show-off mentality occupy me whenever I lost my temper with my husband. Needless to say, I failed to meet the standards of cultivation, and furthermore, I did not even have a little bit of respect towards him. It always looked like we had different opinions. But as a matter of fact, it was mainly because I lacked compassion and tolerance. Hence, whenever I remembered Master's saying,
"I've told you before that Shan isn't something pretended, nor is it a state that's just maintained on the surface. Shan truly comes from within and can only be attained and embodied through cultivation." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Western U.S. Fa Conference")
I would feel regretful. If I was even unable to treat my own husband with compassion, then who would I have compassion for! When people said that I was friendly and kind, in my heart I knew that I was limited. I was far away from the requirements of Dafa. Therefore, when I tried to clarify the truth to my in-laws, I would feel disappointed when they did not accept what I told them. I even lost my temper. It was because my level of compassion had not reached the point that it could melt iron. I knew that I should search inside myself. I should do better in everyday life, and I should respect and love my husband just like I did other fellow practitioners. Every tiny thing we do can help me develop mercy and profound tolerance.
I also thought that I was more capable than my husband, hence I should have the right to order him around. That was actually jealousy. Deep in my heart, I felt unbalanced if he did better than I did; at the same time, I was content when he did not do it well and he felt frustrated and humiliated. One day, I suddenly realized that many kinds of attachments were even deeply hidden in my everyday life, and when I admitted they were my attachments, I could feel that my microscopic world shook slightly. From that day on, I intentionally learned to control my own words and behavior, and this way I took steps to strive to harmonize our small whole body.
From then on, my husband and I studied the Fa, sent forth righteous thoughts, and practiced the exercises together. We also went to our friends and relatives' homes together to clarify the truth. We busied ourselves on projects to rescue fellow practitioners, sent forth righteous thoughts near the jails where fellow practitioners were illegally detained, and wrote experience-sharing articles. We spent our precious days and nights in cultivation. We came here to cultivate in the righteous Fa. The mere reason for us to come together in this life time to this world is to constantly cultivate ourselves, harmonize in Dafa, and offer salvation to sentient beings.
After I become enlightened in the Fa on some particular matter and follow the arrangement made by Master, I always ask myself: can I do things better, and more purely? Do I still have potential for improvement? In the boundless Fa, Master has arranged opportunities for us everywhere. Nothing is impossible. Hence, I vow to Master: Master, we will do a good job. We will not disappoint Master's merciful salvation!
Written on May 28, 2008