(Clearwisdom.net) My personal cultivation began while I was in the fifth grade and has progressed to the stage of validating the Fa and opposing the persecution. I am now a third year university student. Over the past nine years, because of Dafa, I've come to understand many things and learned that my life is meant for the Fa and to fulfill my mission. I have gained experience during the past nine years, and although I've been periodically confused, benevolent Teacher has been with me, providing understanding and taking care of me.
Teacher said in "Cautionary Advice" in Essentials for Further Advancement:
"It has been four years since I began teaching Dafa. Some students' xinxing and level of realm have improved slowly; they remain at the perceptual stage in their understanding of me and Dafa, always being grateful towards me for the changes in their bodies and for the manifestation of supernormal abilities - that is an ordinary human mindset."
I typically understand the Fa from my feelings, from the people around me, and from the reflections of my surroundings. I should instead study the Fa with a calm mind in order to assimilate the Fa and achieve an elevation in realm.
I was very young during my personal cultivation stage and didn't know how to study the Fa. I only knew that I was supposed to read the books and perform the exercises with my parents. At the practice site, I watched Teacher's Fa-lecture tapes with others and listened to the cultivation experience sharing from veteran practitioners, while being immersed in the wonder of Dafa.
After the persecution of Falun Gong began, our Fa-study group ceased, and my father was illegally detained. Confronted with these sudden changes, I didn't know what to do. At that time, I was a junior high school student. Dafa was surpressed, and my mother didn't read any Dafa books, so I suddenly felt alone. At that time, it was Teacher who was my companion. Under Teacher's arrangements, my aunt, who is also a practitioner, was released from a forced labor camp and provided me with Teacher's most recent lectures and articles, which enabled me to immerse myself in Buddha's saving grace.
Before long, I was accepted into one of the best high schools in our city, and my dad returned home as well. I was so busy with daily school activities and homework that I couldn't calm my mind to study the Fa. At that time, I didn't realize that this was interference. I waited until my homework was finished before Fa-study. I kept busy with schoolwork, and although I wanted to study more Fa, I couldn't find the time. In my heart, I was still eager to study the Fa! Because I didn't study the Fa well, I lagged behind in "clarifying the truth" activities. The high school's politics textbook contained text that slandered Dafa, so my dad and I began to cleanse the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) forces from other dimensions that interfered with the class. I kept reminding myself that I needed to clarify the truth to the class. One day during class, the teacher simply instructed us to "Please read the chapter yourself." At that moment, I felt regret for not being able to clarify the truth to the class, but later realized that I wasn't capable of clarifying the truth in front of such a large group at that time, as the result would very likely be the opposite of my intention. I formulated a plan, and Teacher did everything and made the arrangements.
I still remember when I first handed out truth-clarification materials. For some reason, I was afraid of being held back by my family members, so I performed this activity quietly. I obtained some materials from home, stuck double-sided tape on the back of the materials, placed ten copies in my backpack, and after I finished my evening homework, I set out by myself. The time was just past 10:00 p.m., and while I walked down the road, it began to snow. I said to myself, "I want the people in this university to understand the facts and then pass it on to more and more people." While I was thinking this, I no longer felt alone. Snowflakes kept falling on my face and quickly melted. Under the dim streetlights, my shadow on the road appeared to be firm and confident.
Gradually, I began to write letters to people that I didn't know. I found many addresses from periodicals and magazines that I picked up or borrowed from my classmates, then placed truth-clarification materials into envelopes, and mailed them.
I also had some unpleasant experiences. My grandmother was a practitioner, yet she passed away, followed closely by another practitioner. Seeing practitioners leave us, and because I didn't study the Fa diligently, I began having doubts about Dafa, and this was taken advantage of by the old forces. Bad thoughts kept popping into my head and made me not only become attached to the end of Fa-rectification, but also want to leave Dafa. During that period of time, I had a difficult time determining my life's direction. Although I knew that I would not leave Dafa, I still stopped my Fa study, became completely attached to my academic studies, spent all my time reading textbooks, and stayed away from Dafa books. I was tormented from the state that I was in! Fortunately, under Teacher's guidance and my father's encouragement, I returned to Dafa and began feeling the excitement and joy of being assimilated into the Fa.
I entered a university and lived there alone, leaving my cozy home and parents behind, along with a cultivation environment that I had previously depended upon. In this new living environment, I began to spend a lot of time with my roommates. Their conversation was mostly about ordinary peoples' affairs, which began affecting me. Teacher's Dafa was no longer on my mind, and I was filled with thoughts about how to enjoy life, become a winner, find a good job, etc. While under the control of these thoughts, I joined many associations and participated in many activities. I even started my own association, and due to this interference, my entire second year at the university was a mess. I was a good student when viewed by ordinary people's standards, but in retrospect, the path I took was not what Teacher had arranged for me. Teacher stated clearly that Dafa practitioners must study the Fa well! However, I didn't follow what Teacher said, but rather under the old forces' interference, I did many ordinary things not aligned with the Fa. I am not implying that people should not do these things, rather that I didn't make use of these opportunities to clarify the truth to people. The path I took was nowhere near the path that Teacher arranged for me.
When I returned home during the summer holiday of my second year as a university student, I decided to study the Fa with a calm mind in order to better validate the Fa. I joined the first Fa-study group in our city, and every morning I got up at 3:50 and followed the exercise music to do the exercises with practitioners around the globe. I had the same feeling as before the persecution began! After we finished the exercises, everyone left for work except for me and another girl, and we studied Teacher's articles together. In the afternoon, I read Zhuan Falun at home. In the evening I joined the Fa-study group and we watched Teacher's Fa-lecture DVD together. After midnight we sent forth righteous thoughts, and then I went to bed. During that period of time, I gained many new understandings.
I would like to share with fellow practitioners who are also university students about an issue concerning study, work, and cultivation. Honestly, I was a person who was previously quite vain, and I had been dreaming about leading a good life, having a great career, and a happy family. I used Teacher's lectures to cover up my strong attachments. I easily developed strong attachments under this interference. Through studying the Fa, I came to understand the relationship between cultivation, study, and work. Our state of cultivation is reflected in our study or work, however neither study nor work is cultivation. As a student, I must study well; as an employee, I must do a good job. As long as we hold ourselves to the standards of Dafa, study the Fa with calm minds, and assimilate every thought from our daily lives into the Fa, we can elevate ourselves. When we don't treat the Fa as Teacher and develop different attachments, these attachments will be reflected into our daily work or study. At that moment, we need to look inward, find the root cause of the problem, let go of all attachments, and turn the situation around. Considering this, I truly appreciate what Teacher has done for us. Because we are Dafa practitioners, we are particles of Dafa, and we live with the Fa. Teacher has prepared everything for us, and he is waiting for us to do everything well and reach the various standards and requirements that the Fa has set for us.
As university students, we will go out into society very soon, and we'll face many dilemmas and problems. Fortunately, we are Teacher's students, particles of Dafa, so everything around us is looked after by Teacher. We don't need to look for jobs as hard as ordinary people do, nor do we need to think too hard about making money. We only have the Fa in our hearts. As long as we have the Fa in our hearts and are true practitioners, Teacher will arrange everything for us. We need to listen to Teacher and do the three things well--study the Fa well, "clarify the truth," and save sentient beings through different approaches. We must make use of our strengths, validate the Fa, and save sentient beings more effectively. We must do well what Dafa practitioners are supposed to do.
This is only my personal understanding; please kindly point out anything inappropriate.