(Clearwisdom.net) During the past few months, my company has gone through re-organization and has reduced the number of people working in my office. Our workload increased at the same time. At first, I suggested to the new management that they hire more staff. Management insisted that we had enough staff. I thought: I'll wait until our products develop problems; the greater the problems are, the more it will show that we have insufficient staff. I work in the technical area. When a product has problems, the technical people get involved to deal with the problems. Then, my point about staff levels could be proven. As expected, this is what happened. This year's production was exceptionally heavy. The failure rate was also higher than in the past. Quality problems showed up everywhere, which I felt proved my thought that staffing in our office was insufficient. Each of us was busy from morning until night yet we were still unable to keep up. At the same time, upper management and the quality inspection department had new and tighter requirements. Factors such as these added a lot of extra work.
Even worse, I work in a state-owned company. People play mind games, and compete for personal interests. Bureaucracy, complicated interpersonal relationships and different principles in doing things all add up to make people feel unhappy about the extra work. Just as Master Li said in Zhuan Falun":
"Nowadays, whether in a state-run company or in other enterprises in this country, interpersonal conflicts have become very unique. In other countries and throughout history, this phenomenon has never occurred. Consequently, conflicts over self-interest are shown to be particularly intense. People play mind games and compete for a tiny bit of personal gain; the thoughts they have and the tricks they use are very vicious. Even being a good person is difficult.
After a while I became very tense and did not put much effort into Fa study or cultivation. I did not look inward, and did not find my own shortcomings and attachments in conflicts. My attitude became worse and worse. Just like a match, I would explode at the slightest touch. I often quarreled with leadership and colleagues. When my shortcomings were mentioned, I felt that it was unfair and argued about it. I did not use a compassionate, serene, and tolerant heart to face questions from the quality inspection department. I had a competitive mentality to fight them off.
When I reflect on my cultivation state during the past few months, many attachments are exposed: the competitive mentality and attachments to fame, personal interest, jealousy, impatience, self-righteousness, showing off, and so on. I did not have a Dafa practitioner's heart of compassion, tolerance, kindness, and serenity in facing all sentient beings. I have cultivated for so many years, why have I become worse? How would I save sentient beings with such a heart? Every day at work, I was so busy that I did not have a relaxed moment. I dealt with problem after problem with my time counted in seconds or minutes. I dragged my tired body home each night. The quality of my Fa study and righteous thoughts was poor. Thinking back, I can see that this loophole was taken advantage of by the old forces because of my incorrect thought about the whole situation right from the start. All the problems we experience are created by our own hearts.
Not long ago, I realized this problem when I shared my experience with a fellow practitioner. He mentioned that he could see the influence of the old forces in my situation, so I began to very frequently send righteous thoughts. Gradually, we did not have as many problems at work. Today, leadership also agreed to add two more staff members to my office.
Yet, I need to seriously cultivate to get rid of my attachments. I should face sentient beings with a heart of compassion, and work with the heart of responsibility. People are facing the question of their continued existence. I cannot let them be destroyed because I do not measure up to the requirements for Dafa practitioners. How can a cultivator be like that? Now, I am very clear. However, I often forget my status when I return to the work environment. This shows that my Fa study is not solid.
In the future, I am determined to be careful with my words at work. I will demand a high standard of myself. Writing this article, I did not deliberately have the heart of publishing it. I just wanted to expose my attachments and eliminate them through cultivation. I want to use a pure heart to save sentient beings. I also want to remind fellow practitioners with similar experiences not to get stuck in the trap of the old forces, not realizing they are being persecuted, and wasting time not doing the three things required by Master.