(Clearwisdom.net) During the past year, I have often felt like I was just entering the door of cultivation. After a while I asked myself what I did to cause this. Ever since I learned Falun Dafa in early 1999, I kept tripping over myself, stumbling and falling one time after another. The fundamental reasons are rooted as follows. First, I did not study the Fa carefully and with a calm mind. In addition, I had not attended group Fa study very often. Secondly, while facing most of my tests, I did not thoroughly look inside and upgrade my xinxing. Moreover, I had no clear understanding on some issues, for example, what cultivation practice is. Why should people cultivate? What is the fundamental difference between a cultivator and a good person in ordinary society? What is the reason for conforming as much as possible to the way of ordinary society during our cultivation? Of course, I also had no clear understanding of Fa-rectification. It seemed that I had never heard of the old forces, or even thoroughly denied the arrangements of the old forces. Even though I was in this state, Master still let me feel the power of righteous thoughts. While running into tribulations, only through reciting the Fa (I was able to recite "Hongyin") could I pass the tests. I now have clearer understandings of these questions, and am full of confidence and appreciation. I will try my best to do the three things well and cultivate myself resolutely.
1. Reciting the Fa Allowed Me to Enter the Door of Cultivation
I have come to understand that only by identifying attachments, human notions, evil thoughts and thoughts that are not in accordance with the Fa, can we eliminate attachments and human notions, and deny the old forces. I have made an effort to recite the Fa, which resulted in great progress in my cultivation. I have worked to memorize "Expounding on the Fa," "The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be," "Further Understanding," "True Cultivation," and "In Fa-Rectification Your Thoughts Have to be Righteous, Not Human." I have also recited Zhuan Falun up to the eighth lecture.
Only when we have the Fa in our minds can we get rid of attachments and human notions. However, in the past I had no clear understanding how I can identify which were human notions and attachments. I could only identify the attachments which were described in Zhuan Falun when I felt them during conflicts. Nevertheless, I did not stay on the Fa nor cultivate well, and even made excuses for not getting rid of my attachments in light of human principles and right or wrong on the surface. In fact, at that time I had many human notions. Now when I recall the tests that I have passed, I really feel they were nothing.
Several days ago, I talked to my son about his studies and his girlfriend. I did not talk too much, but only said that the girl was not a good match for him; that she was a schemer. Actually, I did not want my son to suffer any losses. At first, my son got angry with me. I thought that I had spent so much money on him, yet he did not understand that I was only thinking of him and was being responsible to him. I thus got angry myself. I immediately realized my attachments, including the fear of losing face, pursuit of getting something in return, disliking his girlfriend, looking down on others, treating people differently, fear of loss, and more. This was all rooted in selfishness and not getting rid of the attachments to reputation, self-interest and feelings. After calming down, I remembered what Master had said,
"Going through hardship and suffering is an outstanding opportunity to remove karma, be cleansed of sin, purify the body, elevate your plane of thought, and rise in level--it's an extraordinarily good thing. This is a correct and upright Fa-truth. But as cultivation is lived out, when the suffering bears down on you and conflicts come up that hit upon the deepest part of you--and especially when it rattles the rigid notions you have--the test is really hard to pass. It can even be to the point that you know full well it's a test but still can't let go of your attachments. What's more, Dafa disciples are cultivating in this "real" world that brims with temptation, so it becomes even more difficult--and even more important--to change those notions." ("The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be")
I told myself that I should take this opportunity to eliminate these attachments. My son then no longer became angry with me and told me that he understood that I was only thinking of him. After this incident, I looked inside and tried to discover why it was so difficult to get rid of these attachments. I realized that I did not understand the meaning of cultivation and supernormal abilities. Also, I did not believe in cultivation solidly enough. Therefore, I weighed things with human notions, and was influenced by superficial phenomena that heard and saw. I did not understand that when I felt uncomfortable it was not myself, and that these attachments were just like animal possessions. If you think using human notions, these attachments have an excuse to exist. In fact, my excuse for being responsible for my son, and my attachments were touched upon at that time. Only when eliminating these attachments could I be responsible to my son and speak to him with a calm mind.
2. Complaining is an Attachment
I believe that when practitioners feel that they are in danger, we should practice the cultivation of speech. However, due to the attachments of showing off, zealotry and competitiveness, we talk about things we should not mention, and at the time do not realize it. Moreover, we should have a new understanding of the cultivation of speech. We should be sure not to talk about people behind their backs and say words that are judgmental. We should say very few words, or nothing at all that could be considered human notions, for example, things such as, "I do not cultivate as well as you do," "I committed wrongdoing and said things I should not have said," "My cultivation state is not good," or "My cultivation is so bad." We should not say things of this nature if we truly weigh our every thought with the Fa. Actually, this is acting like everyday people, and is a manifestation of poor xinxing and poor inborn quality. In other words, it is a manifestation of losing one's true self.
Nowadays, we really should not complain about other fellow practitioners, such as, "someone treated me unfairly," or "I am troubled by the incident that happened several years ago." Some practitioners state that they lack immense tolerance; others have a lot of personal feelings and desires; some can not get rid of the attachment of hatred because this incident hurt them deeply. It seems that they can pardon themselves by only "being aware of it" or having a good reason. In fact, these words are not spoken by their true selves; instead, it is their attachments that speak because they are afraid that our Master will eliminate them. Hatred seeks an excuse for existence. We have been influenced by illusion, human notions and attachments. In fact, we live within human principles.
Master said,
"If you do not change the human logic that you, as an ordinary human, have formed deep in your bones over thousands of years, you will be unable to break away from this superficial human shell and reach Consummation." ("Cautionary Advice" from Essentials for Further Advancement)
When we cultivate ourselves in light of the right principles, then it is not difficult to get rid of human notions. Yesterday I had a headache as soon as I woke up, and I thought that it was interference or maybe I went to bed too late. However, I immediately thought that I should regard pain and discomfort as a good thing. I did not weigh the things with human notions, and my headache disappeared at once. In addition, I was high-spirited. Today when I woke up, I felt cold. So I sat up, pulled up the quilt and leaned against the bedside for over one hour. I thought that cold and discomfort was not good and therefore I was being taken advantage of. Of course, there were dark minions and evil specters interfering with me. Only if we act as cultivators will our righteous thoughts function. If our hearts are influenced, our righteous thoughts will be for naught. While persuading people to withdraw from the CCP, we will encounter a lot of problems if our hearts don't remain calm. Sometimes, when we talk about the persecution and evildoings of the CCP, we are emotional and the result is not very effective. We should truly cultivate and purify ourselves well and look inward unconditionally. We should assimilate to Dafa.
3. The Biggest Loophole is Acknowledging the Persecution Unconsciously
Acknowledging the persecution unconsciously is an issue of being controlled by the persecution. When we hear of someone being arrested, we think about his attachments and loopholes, and some even think of the sensitive days (such as holidays, festivals in China) and the things they did. Moreover, we fail to deny the persecution. For a long time, facing interference, I have actually cultivated myself amidst the ordeals, and sometimes cannot identify the cause. When I cannot study the Fa diligently and maintain my xinxing or cannot persuade people to withdraw from the CCP and validate Dafa well, I unconsciously think of interference. It turns out that I cultivate while focusing on not being persecuted or interfered with, and have the attachment of fear. I never carefully considered where this thought came from, and whether I stayed with the Fa or not. Actually this thought comes from a factor that interferes with my mind, and that factor is afraid of being eliminated.
Master said,
"We negate even the very emergence of the old forces and everything that they've arranged; we don't even acknowledge their existence." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference") verified
Master has given us immense supernormal abilities and a powerful formula for Fa-rectification. In addition, he has taught us the Fa from different angles. Master has given us so much! I think that we have no reason not to behave like gods. We should truly assimilate to Dafa and believe in Master and Dafa solidly, and cultivate well. We should not only be strict in our behavior but also hold and identify every thought. In addition, we should eliminate all the thoughts that are not in accordance with the Fa. Only when we do this can we cultivate well to the end.
I also have a new understanding of the attachment of lust. In the past, I thought that I did not have this attachment. After reading the articles written by the fellow practitioners, I enlightened to the following. In the past, when people who were rich and lascivious were acting friendly to me, I felt sick and did not look inward. Furthermore, I had human notions that there were few good single people except for Dafa disciples. I have now realized that it is an unconscious issue of lust, and should be eliminated. Moreover, we should not use the excuse of doing Dafa work, and using our money to save people, to conceal other attachments, such as getting things cheaply, trying to establish a relationship with somebody, thinking highly of being human, and the attachments of being happy while gaining and feeling pain while losing. As a matter of fact, we should thoroughly get rid of the attachments to reputation, self-interest, and feelings.
Please point out anything that I have not understood correctly.