(Clearwisdom.net) Teacher has reminded us again and again to study the Fa more. I used to think that I did as Teacher has directed, but I still did not do well upon encountering conflicts. Looking at the reason, I didn't study the Fa with a tranquil mind, nor with righteous thoughts. Therefore, I encountered the attachment to self and selfishness.
Recently, I experienced physical discomfort and thought that it would not be a problem since I had studied the Fa. Teacher said in Zhuan Falun:
"You cannot only pursue transformation of gong in the physical body without emphasizing improvement of your xinxing. It is waiting for you to upgrade your xinxing—only then will you make a holistic change."
I only wished to gain and did not want to make sacrifices. What a selfish thought! Teacher told us to attain the righteous enlightenment of selflessness and altruism. How can I conform to the standards of the new universe without doing that?
Recently, when conflicts or tensions took place, I tried to search within but I still believed that it was me that was hurt deeply. I was aggrieved and felt very resentful. Teacher said:
"Yet when we run into problems, we often look outwards—"Why are you treating me like that?"—and feel that we’ve been treated unfairly, instead of examining ourselves. That’s the greatest and most fatal obstacle for all living beings."(Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Singapore, 1998)
Through studying the Fa with a tranquil mind, I noticed that I did not understand the Fa based on the Fa, nor did I eliminate the notion of self. I frequently felt that other people had treated me unfairly, but I was only covering up my mentality of fear.
From this I realized that as long as we can study the Fa with a calm mind, and look inside whenever we run into a problem, no tests are insurmountable. Then we can enlighten to different Fa requirements at different levels. Thus, we can truly understand the meaning of the Fa. Enlightened by the Fa, I found my attachments. We can only melt into the Fa and purify ourselves if we give up our attachments.
As a Dafa disciple, I have not done well enough and still have not met Teacher's requirements, but I believe I can catch up.
The above is my personal cultivation experience, please correct me if there is anything inappropriate.