(Clearwisdom.net) I am a practitioner from Miaoli. I began studying the Fa in December 2000. My family was extremely poor when I grew up, hence I have developed very strong willpower, tolerance and endurance.
When I was 20 years old I had a sickness and stayed in a hospital for 45 days. I had difficulty falling asleep the whole time I was there. My father was looking after me and was worried that I'd wake up frightened, because when I was asleep, I often felt as if some bad spirit was pressing down on me. I was bothered by this for very long time. I often wondered, "What is it that presses down on me so hard? Why would it do that to me?"
When I was 21 years old I got married. We lived with my parents-in-law and sister-in-law. I encountered many tribulations in my new environment, largely due to my introverted character. It was difficult for me to adapt.
We had a daughter who was diagnosed with epilepsy at the age of four months. From that time on I always worried about her. Quite often my husband and I had to take her to the emergency room in the middle of the night. My daughter was nine years old when she died from an overwhelming seizure when there had been no time to get her to a hospital. I often rebuked myself after her death and fell into profound grief.
One day in December 2000, a Falun Gong practitioner lent me a book about the Falun Gong practitioners sharing their experiences. One of the articles told the story, "The miraculous story of a 16-year wheelchair-bound patient's recovery." I was intrigued. Later, I started reading the book Zhuan Falun. When I read the first section of Lecture One, " Genuinely Guiding People Toward High Levels " I was quite moved. With tears in my eyes I thought, "Isn't this what I have been looking for?" As I continue reading the teachings, Dafa helps me understand the true significance of life.
From that time on I began Dafa practice. When I did the exercise "Holding the Falun (Law Wheel)" for the first time, the Falun was revolving continuously on my arms. It felt like I was surrounded by a kind of energy. The joy was indescribable.
Prior to beginning the practice, my husband had been bothered by gastric disease and nasal allergies for a long time. Quite often he had to go to the emergency room in the middle of the night. He weighed less than 50 kg/108 lb. Once he began practicing Falun Dafa, he recovered in a short time without medicine and he gradually became stronger. He gained more than 10 kg/22 lb. My husband experienced the profound wonders of Dafa and became more diligent from that point on.
Not being able to sit in double lotus position was the most discouraging for me. When I saw other practitioners easily sit in double lotus position I admired them and was eager to do the same. I bought two bags of rice to put on my legs and also used a leather belt to bind my legs. I took pains in trying to sit in the double lotus position and studied the Fa diligently on a daily basis.
I understood Master's words,
"We have said that Dafa is boundless, and it is completely up to your heart to practice cultivation. The master takes you through the entrance, and it is up to you, yourself to practice cultivation. It all depends upon how you, yourself practice cultivation. Whether you can practice cultivation all depends upon whether you can endure, sacrifice, and suffer. If you can commit your mind, no difficulties can stop you. I would say that there is not a problem." ("Lecture Four" from Zhuan Falun, 2000 English translation Version)
One night the bad spirit came again. It pressed down on me so heavily that I was unable to make a sound. I was frantically struggling and cried loudly for Master's help. The benevolent Master appeared before me in a Western-style suit. I then saw a large demon wearing a white cloth leave my body. I was sincerely grateful for Master's merciful protection. The long-time nightmare caused by this demon was over. I was cured without any treatment.
One time while we were driving by car along the highway while listening to Master's recorded lecture, people on the road pointed to our car, indicating that it had a problem. After ten minutes, another person pointed out the same issue. We pulled over and discovered a completely flat front tire. We could even see the steel wheel. We were astounded. This was inconceivable and too mysterious. With the flat tire the car still drove so smoothly. We are really grateful for Master's protection.
One day I got a call from an overseas customer complaining that some merchandise had defects and he wanted to return the goods. This would cause us to lose about $20,000. Dafa teaches us to think of others first in everything. After my repeatedly apologizing, acknowledging that it was our fault, and most importantly saying that we should come up with a solution, I told him our first priority is customer satisfaction and I would not disappoint him in the future. The customer felt my sincerity, hence he softened the complaints.
A month later the customer said on the telephone they only needed to deduct $2,300. My husband and I smiled at each other because during the past month, our minds had not been moved by things like this at all. One could call it "gaining without pursuit." At that moment I recalled
Master's words,
"Of course, you will not be informed of a tribulation or conflict ahead of time. How can you practice cultivation if you are told everything? It will not serve any use. They usually occur unexpectedly so that they can test one's xinxing and make one's xinxing truly improve. Only then can it be seen whether one can maintain one's xinxing. Therefore, when a conflict arises, it does not occur accidentally." ("Lecture Four" from Zhuan Falun)
I realized that everything in daily life is related to practice. We need to eliminate our attachments, consider other people's positive attributes more and look less at their shortcomings. When running into something, it would be either something positive or be inconsequential. Occasionally we would fall, yet we would learn a lesson from it. My mind became very confident and such confidence frequently warms my heart.
Sometimes I did not do well. I held on to human attachments, and also blamed other people for being this way or that way. I also struggled with my ego and the inability to let things go. Whenever I was mentally preoccupied, my mind would be unavoidably impacted. Quite often Master gave me some hints, and I immediately realized that I was a practitioner and had to look inward for my shortcomings, and then improve.
The Zhen-Shan-Ren [Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance] art exhibition was held here in August 2004. I was a tour guide. I used to be a timid person and easily became nervous. My younger sister and I went to the Peach Garden to observe and learn how the other practitioners functioned as tour guides. Seeing their accomplished skills I felt great pressure and even nervousness. When I got back, I rehearsed the tour guides' script intensively every day. I felt quite embarrassed, wondering how I could do as well as the others. It was not easy for me to commit a lot of information to memory. I made the best use of my time. All day long I was either studying the Fa, doing the exercises, or practicing telling the story of the paintings in the exhibit.
More people than expected attended the art exhibition. On the first day, when head of the town and his friend came to see the art exhibition it was my turn as tour guide. After he viewed the exhibits he came over and said, "I could hardly believe that the tour guide is you!" His expression showed his surprise that I could be a tour guide, hence I gained self-confidence. I did better and better. Dafa opened my wisdom. The following day my older brother and his wife came to the art exhibition. I was again the tour guide. My brother listened carefully to my descriptions. After he finished viewing he said to me, "You and your younger sister have changed a lot during the past few years!"
I was initially reluctant to go to Hong Kong to clarify the truth. The first day it rained heavily and I got soaked. However, we were still told to send forth righteous thoughts, and I didn't feel comfortable. Yet, when I looked inward I found my xinxing to be far poorer than that of the Hong Kong practitioners. I knew feeling a hardship was thought karma interfering with me. The next day I held a sign board for the Mainland tourists so they could take a look [at the information on the board]. Some of them even asked to see the other side of the board as well. After seeing these people eager to know the truth, I grew determined to rescue all these sentient beings, no matter how hard it would be. I was sending forth righteous thoughts to let people not miss this opportunity. In the evening I went to another tourist attraction on a mountainside. Two TV sets showed the truth of the so-called Tiananmen Square self-immolation incident. When I saw tourists coming one bus load after another to watch the truth clarification, I was touched.
As timid as I am, I wasn't afraid at all for the return trip to Taiwan by myself. So far I have gone to Hong Kong ten times.
During the Chung-Li experience sharing conference, when I was listening to fellow practitioners relating their stories about telephone truth clarification experiences I admired them. I decided to read the calling instructions over and over and start making calls. But I was quite nervous the first time I picked up the phone to clarify the truth. I was afraid of being unable to speak well. I realized I had fear when I was unable to answer questions from the other end and became embarrassed. I heard from other practitioners' stories that making phone calls to clarify the truth could help one to get rid of many attachments, including fear.
I joined the "Quit the CCP and its affiliated Organizations" phone response team. The first phone conversation was very long. The other end said he would like to access the Internet and also added that we were great. One time I phoned a students' dormitory. Some college students were in turn listening to my truth clarification. They asked whether I was a radio host, because my voice was delightful. After making phone calls a few times my fear dwindled away and I felt that there was not much to be afraid of. I had created my own pressure and fear.
Master said,
"Validate the Fa with reason, clarify the truth with wisdom, spread the Fa and offer people salvation with benevolence." ("Rationality" from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
Each day was filled with tasks. I often felt I didn't have enough time to do things. I used to easily get nervous. My timidity and fear made me feel nervous to share my practice experiences at this conference. By reading fellow practitioners' experience sharing articles I often discovered many of my shortcomings. Some of the attachments were deeply hidden.
Through Fa study and experience sharing, my xinxing and understanding ascended step by step. The power of sending-forth-righteous-thoughts became stronger and stronger. There were times I was diligent, and other times when I was not.
In "Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference at the U.S. Capital," Master said,
"Being diligent means that he is able to watch his words and actions closely every moment, pay close attention to his thoughts, and is able to be strict with himself, and is usually able to conduct himself strictly."
Therefore I always demand of myself to improve within the Fa-rectification cultivation period , and continuously improve my xinxing.