(Clearwisdom.net)
Greetings, Revered Master!
Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I obtained the Fa after July 20th, 1999. Although I considered myself a Dafa disciple of the Fa-rectification period, I haven't done well the three things that Dafa disciples should do. Sometimes I have acted very poorly in personal cultivation. I'm too lazy to do the exercises, and I feel ashamed of this. During my three years of cultivation, I could hardly finish the second exercise, and even when I barely managed to finish it, my arm positions would be slackened from what is required. I know that it's very important to study the Fa. Sometimes I can read a few lectures in one day, yet sometimes I did not study the Fa for a few consecutive days. I could not keep up with Fa study on a regular basis. On top of this, during the first year, I clarified the facts to people passively and didn't really know how to walk my own path in Fa-rectification and how to validate the Fa on my own.
1. Helping with the Database to Rescue Dafa Practitioners and Expose the Evils
It was at the beginning of 2005, when I was waiting to be granted asylum, that I became a genuine Dafa disciple of the Fa-rectification period. A practitioner introduced me to working for the database to rescue Falun Gong practitioners. At the beginning, I found it very difficult. Even though it only requires some basic operations, such as copying and pasting, it took great pains for me to learn.
I still remember that I needed to stay up until 4 a.m. to learn how to operate the database with the help of a Canadian practitioner. During that time, I worked on the database every day. When reading about Dafa disciples in mainland China being arrested, their property being confiscated, being blackmailed, illegally sentenced, brainwashed and mistreated I could rarely stop crying. I have been working with the database for a year-and-a-half now. What has really touched me is the extent of the righteous thoughts that many Dafa disciples in mainland China have. They are so determined and diligent in that evil environment. In this relatively easy environment, we really should be more diligent to reduce the persecution in China.
2. Clarifying the Truth Using the Media
I always wanted to do more to validate the Fa, but didn't know what to do. I only went to the Chinese embassy to send forth righteous thoughts when I was relatively diligent. Thanks to Master and fellow practitioners I was led to clarifying the truth through the media. At the beginning, I didn't have enough confidence. I thought I wouldn't be able to do it, but fellow practitioners have always encouraged me.
The first program I did was about an Irish Falun Gong parade. A fellow practitioner wrote the report and gave me the chance to broadcast it. I felt that the program was not good enough since it was the first time that I had tried doing this. My fellow practitioner encouraged me, and she taught me how to edit and upload programs. Although it was 2 a.m. when we finished the program, we didn't feel tired. We had strong righteous thoughts and tried our best to do the program well. Later, I learned how to do interviews. Little by little, I did better in studying the Fa and doing the exercises. As soon as I had a question, I would ask. I am finally in control of the basic operations of sound editing, and I am now able to broadcast news weekly. Occasionally, other countries' fellow practitioners would give me some of their news to broadcast.
During this period, some practitioners gave me very good suggestions which helped me improve. After a while, I started to do interviews, and found more difficulties as I had to write the report as well as broadcast the program. If the interviewee speaks English, I have to first translate. I was really frightened with interviewing people and I always relied on others to write the news reports. Little by little, I gained some experience and strengthened my righteous thoughts. Now I can do the interviews by myself. Master has given me the wisdom to do all of this. Thank you Master!
During this period, we often shared experiences with one another and found that it is important to do well in personal cultivation so that we could guarantee the quality of work and clarify the facts properly. This means studying the Fa and doing exercises every day. If any of us did not do well in the past, we need to do well now. I study the Fa every day with fellow practitioners, share experiences, and then do the programs. If we have problems, we will solve them together immediately. Now the Fa-rectification process is being pushed faster and faster. We have also organized interviews to clarify the facts about the organ harvesting atrocities from living Falun Gong practitioners by the Chinese Communist Party. In short, we use the media to reveal the evil and clarify the facts to the people in China.
Do not Ignore Personal Cultivation When Clarifying the Truth
Working with the media, I feel that my righteous thoughts have been strengthened, and I have really become a Dafa disciple. However, how can cultivators upgrade themselves comfortably? There are also conflicts in self cultivation.
Over the past few years that I have been in Ireland, I continually changed my job and living address. I would be exhausted, but couldn't help changing my job. Six months ago, I realized that I should be more mature. Only if my job and living environment are steady could I become more solid in Fa-rectification. Dafa disciples cultivate in ordinary human society. I understand that I shouldn't continue to worry about how I live and create unnecessary tribulations for myself. I then stayed in one job for seven months and everything was fine. However, an attachment arose in me once again. This was triggered by colleagues saying to me: "Our salary never increases. I have worked here for eight years and I am still being paid the same amount that I was when I started." I began to feel uncomfortable and I thought that with my experience I could easily get a job that paid better wages. I then started to look for another job, and after some interviews, I found one as a manager. My attachments to fame and self interest developed. I was very happy to have such a great job so that I could show off to my family and friends! What a strong mentality of showing off! I explained to my boss that I was quitting my job. He understood, but the owner of the business talked with me and offered to pay me more money and promote me if I stayed.
My attachment to fame and sentimentality were very heavy. Wow! I am only an ordinary employee, but I am being begged to stay by an owner of so many stores. My attachment to fame and sentimentality made me hesitate to leave and tortured me very painfully. I was debating which job would be better for me. Fellow practitioners pointed out my attachment. I realized that Master was giving me the chance to cultivate and upgrade myself. I already promised the new boss that I would work for him. If I changed my mind, I would cause trouble for them since they would have to find a new employee. If I promised the old boss I would stay, I would only be staying for the increase in salary, and this was an attachment to self interest. I decided to talk to my old boss, kindly explain, and he was able to understand. The conflict was so sharp, but it let me see so many attachments that I had. It was just like what Master said:
"For a cultivator, all the frustrations he comes across among everyday people are trials, and all the compliments he receives are tests." "A Cultivator is Naturally Part of It" (Essentials for Further Advancement)
Recently, a fellow practitioner saw my attachment and pointed it out. I was not comfortable and didn't want to listen. I thought that the practitioner had the same attachment as me, only stronger. But at the same time I realized that I was not being compassionate, nor was I examining my own attachments. Master said in "Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles":
"Cultivation is about looking inside yourself. Whether you are right or wrong, you should examine yourself. Cultivation is about getting rid of human attachments. If you always reject reproaches and criticism, always point your fingers at others, and always refute others' disapproval and criticism, is that cultivating? How is that cultivating? You have grown used to focusing on other people's shortcomings, and never take examining your own self seriously. When others' cultivation one day meets with success, what about you? Isn't Master hoping that you are cultivating well? Why won't you accept criticism, and why do you keep focusing on other people? Why not cultivate inward and examine your own self?"
Master's lecture explained it to me clearly. I should appreciate the fellow practitioner who pointed out the attachment for me. Such xinxing conflicts repeated several times, each time helping to get rid of one layer of dirty stuff. Afterwards, I sincerely thanked the practitioner with a pure heart. These tribulations have come again and again. I know now that I felt uncomfortable because I haven't cultivated well in the past and I haven't completely given up my selfishness; however, I know I can pass this test.
I have wasted a lot of time, and for this I feel very ashamed. But I will work hard at this last stage. Dafa disciples are one body and we should cooperate well, and not let go of this last chance to save sentient beings.
Above are my personal understandings, please feel free to correct any misunderstanding.