(Clearwisdom.net) I began to practice Falun Gong in late 1996. When my understanding of the Fa was improving and great changes had taken place in both my health and my mind I began to have infinite respect for Teacher.

Recalling the path of my cultivation over the last few years, I'd like to share with you three points.

When I began to practice Falun Dafa I had all sorts of human notions. With Fa study, practicing the exercises and cultivating my xinxing I felt exactly as Teacher described in Zhuan Falun:

"The entire transformation process of cultivation practice and the transformation process of the body will all occur under the circumstance that you can see or feel them."

I understood clearly that as a practitioner I must set strict standards for myself. Any question or any xinxing test that I encountered was a test of my first thought, whether I looked at it with human notions or looked at it and solved the problem from the Fa perspective. This is cultivation practice which reveals the fundamental difference between a practitioner and an everyday person.

If you want to walk on the path of cultivation practice and want to improve your xinxing and keep righteous thoughts, the most important way is to study the Fa. As a practitioner you should be focused on the Fa at all times. Only when your xinxing has been upgraded can your health be improved, only when your xinxing has been upgraded can you understand the Fa principles from a different level, and only when your xinxing has been upgraded can you enlighten to the inner meaning of the Fa at your level.

In July 1999, the Chinese Communist Party began to persecute Falun Gong. At that time the news from various media including newspapers, were filled with fabricated lies that covered every corner of the world. However, my firm belief that "Falun Dafa is a righteous Fa" never wavered. I still remember what Teacher said in his "Lecture on the Fa at the U.S. Midwest Conference":

"Under any difficult circumstance, everyone, remain calm in your hearts. Just by staying unaffected, you will be able to handle all situations." (provisional translation subject to further improvement)

I said silently to Teacher, "No matter what happens I will take the Fa as teacher and cultivate through to the end!"

I felt that I was very lucky to live in the era when the "Fa" is being spread. During the days of hardships I never slacked off in studying the Fa or in xinxing cultivation. Teacher said in Zhuan Falun:

"It is under the circumstance of demonic interference that you can demonstrate whether you can continue your cultivation, be really enlightened to the Tao, be unaffected by interference, and be sure-footed in this school of practice."

Teacher explained clearly in the article "Rationality" published on August 9, 2000:

"Validate the Fa with rationality, clarify the truth with wisdom, spread the Fa and save people with mercy." (Essentials for Further Advancement II)

I enlightened very clearly that as a Fa-rectification period practitioner I must step forward to clarify the truth and save sentient beings while cultivating myself through Fa study. At the same time I also felt that a Fa-rectification period practitioner has a great responsibility.

I used every opportunity to give out fliers and CDs and clarify the truth. At that time the supply of truth-clarification materials was limited, therefore I tried as hard as I could to photocopy the materials so that nearby practitioners could also use the materials to clarify the truth. Sometimes when I clarified the truth with fellow practitioners I would carry one or two hundred copies of truth-clarification materials on my back with never a thought of my personal safety. At that time my only thought was to whole-heartedly save sentient beings amongst the lies that deceived the public. When those people who had been deceived read the truth-clarification materials, understood Dafa and admitted, "Falun Dafa is good," they would have a beautiful future. What a meaningful thing this is to do!

In July 2001, when I was handing out truth-clarification materials and CDs I was arrested by officers from the local police substation. The following day, the 610 Office staff talked to me and asked me to write a guarantee statement declaring I would not practice Falun Gong before they would release me. I smiled and talked to them about the changes I had experienced both physically and mentally after practicing Falun Gong. I also told them that had the Communist Party not slandered Falun Dafa to deceive the world's people, I would not have passed out fliers clarifying the truth. When they realized they had failed to persuade me, they asked their boss to talk to me. I talked to him patiently about everything I had experienced after practicing Falun Dafa. Finally they said heatedly, "We asked you to write a statement and you refused. You must bear the consequences." My mind was very clear and I had no fear at all. I only thought about safeguarding Dafa, because it is what Fa-rectification period practitioners must do!

In prison I clarified the truth to the people around me. I talked to them about the Fa principles and asked them to be good people. They candidly called me "Falun Gong" since no one knew my real name. Though I was kept in prison, I felt very proud being called "Falun Gong." I also realized that I must set for myself strict standards in line with the Fa and never discredit Dafa! I tried my best to help the people around me with their livelihoods.

At that time the TV news broadcast lies almost every day. However, the girls around me said, "Falun Gong, tell us the truth because we do not believe what the television says." I clarified the truth to them in accordance with their abilities and education. I also talked to them about the contents of Zhuan Falun. One girl said, "When I get released I will go to see you to learn Dafa." One woman who was badly addicted to gambling said, "Sister Falun Gong, I know you can save me and my family." I knew it was a predestined relationship for us to meet there. They learned Falun Dafa under these circumstances.

In prison, people would come and go and I kept on clarifying the truth to them. One day I suddenly burst into tears. One woman inmate came and gave me a few words of comfort. She thought that I missed my family, but actually that was not the case. At the moment I really did not miss my family but thought of the mercy and the greatness of our Teacher. I thought it was not easy to save sentient beings and I only did what a practitioner had to do. With rock-solid belief in Teacher and under his compassionate care I walked out of the prison with righteous thoughts. It was just like what Teacher said in "Eliminate Your Last Attachment(s)":

"If you are not afraid, the factor that would make you afraid will cease to exist."

In 2002 someone reported to the police that I was handing out truth-clarification materials. Before this, the 610 Office of the local police sub-station had been looking for me for more than a year and listed me as a key target for arrest. In March, I was taken away from home and sent to an "education class" run by the district authorities. It was actually a brainwashing center. At the time I had only one thought, "I must escape from the center." However, when I learned that the staff there would loose their jobs if I did escape from the place, my human sentimentality emerged. I failed to realize that if I accepted their persecution they would actually be doing the worst thing in the universe--persecuting Dafa practitioners. Since I did not understand the Fa properly and had an attachment to fear and human sentimentality I became softhearted. I knew that they were not well off, already had unemployed family members, and had children in school. Thereafter, I experienced psychological torture. To be exact, I was not allowed to speak to other Falun Dafa practitioners. Every day and night I was forced to watch video programs that slandered Teacher and Falun Dafa. They also told those former practitioners that I was acquainted with who had enlightened along an evil path to try and brainwash me around the clock using all kinds of evil means.

The most vicious act of the 610 Office was to bring in my aging parents to visit. I was almost suffocated mentally by this evil act and about to collapse. One of the staff from the "education class" who ate with and shared a bedroom with me finally said with tears running down nonstop, "You have suffered even more than my mother did during the Cultural Revolution." During the days when I really wanted to die rather than suffer the pain I wrote the three statements. I can still clearly remember the moment. When I picked up the pen my hands were shaking and my heart almost stopped beating. It was the worst lie I had made in all my life. I felt ashamed before Teacher and Falun Dafa.

After leaving the brainwashing center I wrote a statement right away declaring that what I had written during my detention was null and void, and expressed that I would redouble my efforts to make up for the damage I had done to Dafa and to be firm and diligent in my cultivation.

In trying to do the three things well simultaneously, at one point I detected that I had an obvious fear. Although I did not relax my Fa study or xinxing cultivation, I seldom did truth-clarification work. At the time I did not notice it because of my human attachment. I left loopholes for the evil forces to take advantage of. Sometimes when I studied the Fa I could not concentrate, in sending forth righteous thoughts my mind would drift away, and in doing truth-clarification work I acted passive and mechanical. Owing to a lack of righteous thoughts I was still affected by the human sentiments of fame, gain, and emotion. Teacher's words echoed in my ears,

"If you hold on to humanness with one hand and won't let go, and you hold on to Buddhahood with the other hand and won't let go, just which one exactly do you want?" ("Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference")

But it seemed that I took all this passively. Sometimes I knew it was a human attachment but I still firmly held it and would not let it go. Sometimes I would knowingly fail xinxing tests. Because I was moving from one house to another, I did not read articles from the Minghui/Clearwisdom website or Teacher's recent writings and lectures. Then during a dream, Teacher gave me a hint, pointing out that I had ventured further away from the path of returning home. I knew it clearly in my heart, but it seemed that there was no way for me to return from being an everyday person, and I could find no solution.

In early 2006, I read Teacher's new article "The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be." It seemed that this article was specifically written for me. I asked myself why, as a practitioner, I could only correct myself when I read Teacher's new article and why could I not set a strict standard for myself and act in accordance with the principles of the Fa and righteous thoughts. For a long period of time I had not really understood or enlightened to the perspective of the Fa regarding what Teacher had said about totally negating the old forces' arrangements. Wasn't my situation a manifestation of passively accepting the arrangements by the old forces and letting the demons and rotten ghosts take advantage? Was I still worthy of being a Fa-rectification period Dafa practitioner?

I knew it was useless to blame myself, but I needed to fundamentally solve the issue with righteous thoughts. When my righteous thoughts became strong, with the guidance of Teacher's Fa principles I instantly jumped out of the status of being an everyday person. With the deepening of my understanding of the Fa principles I truly enlightened to the profound connotations of what Teacher said about totally negating the old forces' arrangements.

It is just like Teacher said in "Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference:"

"When you're able to walk a righteous path, that means your righteous thoughts are strong, you're doing things according to Dafa's requirements, and you're doing things according to Master's requirements, then you are negating the old forces, and you are walking your path in a righteous way."

Because my will to be diligent weakened, I failed to realize that it was caused by interference from wrong notions and my attachment to the timetable of Fa-rectification. Therefore I was taken advantage of by the factors left on the surface of the human world by the old forces as well as by the evil forces and rotten ghosts. They strengthened my attachments and human notions, therefore creating this depressed state for me. Now I understand that doing the three things in a down-to-earth manner is itself totally negating the arrangements made by the old forces. Practitioners must walk righteously on the path of cultivation, totally negating the arrangements of the old forces.

When I take the Fa as Master and have strong righteous thoughts, once again I can merge the three things into my daily life. Teacher said in "Drive Out Interference:"

"The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts."

When I heard the song "Coming for You," tears fell again and again. Yes, I came here to save sentient beings. I am shouldering the mission. On the path ahead I must be diligent in my cultivation with other practitioners.

The main purpose for my writing this article was to notice and understand the shortcomings in my cultivation and the seriousness of cultivation. The process of writing this article was also a process of getting upgraded on the Fa principles and the process of righteous enlightenment. All this is to warn myself to cherish everything Teacher has done for us. I must be worthy of Dafa and worthy of sentient beings. Please kindly help me understand any shortcomings I may have.