(Clearwisdom.net) When I read the article, "Human Hearts and Consequence" on the Clearwisdom website, my heart was not moved. The article contained stories from Mainland China about non-practitioners who had good fortune after reciting, "Falun Dafa is good" and "Truth, Compassion, Forbearance is good," or after being supportive of their practitioner family members and friends.
Whenever I read things like that, I always had some negative thoughts. Last night, I suddenly enlightened that I should look within. Why was it when I read about the miraculous manifestations of Dafa, I did not have righteous thoughts, but instead I just felt uncomfortable?
First of all, I had been affected by atheism and didnt believe that Falun Dafa could be responsible for anything miraculous. I thought that I had come to understand the Fa rationally; I liked Dafa theories. Since I knew that "Truth, Compassion, Forbearance" were the best principles, I began to practice. Although I had no attachment of pursuit, it all came down to my many human attachments. If I truly believed that it was Dafa that built the cosmos, created all beings, even created layers and layers of every Buddha, Dao, and God, then why couldn't I believe that Dafa created miracles?
If a hospital, an organization, or a religion in ordinary human society was able to cure an incurable disease, they would have gone all over the places to promote it. So many miracles, which seem impossible in ordinary peoples eyes, manifest daily in Dafa cultivation. Couldnt they really help strengthen our divine natures?
Secondly, it is because I have an attachment and I have not treated it seriously enough. Although I have been practicing for over a decade, I have never personally come across any Falun Dafa miracles. But for other people, even before they started practicing, miracles already unfolded in front of them. When I heard these kinds of stories, I did not really want to admit my attachment.
My selfishness covered my attachment very deeply. I thought our Teacher was "mine" or belonged just to Dafa practitioners. If so, how could ordinary people deserve being taken care of by our Teacher, given the fact that those ordinary people all have huge amounts of karma? As long as they recited, "Falun Dafa is good," their diseases were removed and they became fit. Surprisingly enough, I found my thoughts quite similar to the old forces. The old forces consider themselves as high level beings, and they think very highly of themselves; therefore, for those practitioners whom they dont think very highly of, they are determined to have them fall, so that they cant reach enlightenment. I was very upset, since I felt that out of jealousy the old forces treated lives as dirt. The old forces are selfish, terrible, and have the least compassion.
Now, by searching within, I have enlightened that my compassion had not appeared simply because my selfishness was not eliminated. Teacher wants to save all sentient beings, so how can there be such things as "my" Teacher or "our" Dafa practitioners Teacher? After I realized this, I was determined to eliminate my issue of jealousy so that my compassion would be able to appear.
Today, I recited this paragraph from the Fa:
"The gong you develop, or every microscopic particle from that gong, looks exactly the same as you. After reaching Beyond-Triple-World-Fa, you will practice cultivation of a Buddha-body. That gong will assume the appearance of a Buddha. It is very beautiful, sitting on a lotus flower. Every microscopic particle is like that." (Zhuan Falun)
I was shocked when I came to this paragraph. I had always felt that it referred to other people or to something that would happen in the future. Now I suddenly enlightened: wasnt I part of it as well? Superficially, it was as if I was not attached to supernormal abilities when, in essence, I lacked righteous belief in Dafa and Teacher. I have been pessimistic in not believing in divine miracles and even my abilities. Therefore, in terms of clarifying the truth, I had a great attachment of fear.
As I study the Fa, it is quite easy to find where I fall short so that I can get rid of my attachments. Recently, I have been reciting the Fa quite seriously. Hence, I was able to find my attachments. In Teachers most recent article, Teacher requires us to study the Fa more, and study the Fa well. It is quite important.
Even though on the surface others cannot see the changes in me, I do know that as I continue to attentively recite the Fa and study the Fa, my improvement will be phenomenal.