Because I was attached to consummation, and my intentions were impure, I was arrested when I was validating Dafa. I unwillingly accepted the brainwashing in the detention center, due to fear combined with various attachments to sentimentality. In the process I wrote the "guarantee letter" [a letter guaranteeing not to practice] as well as all kinds of "disclosure materials." I told them the contact person's address. I betrayed myself and did things that a practitioner shouldn't have done; I unwillingly accepted the brainwashing. In the brainwashing class, I said and acted against my heart. I hid my only righteous thought deep within. I was hoping that I would be released sooner so that I could study the Fa, advance in cultivation and go validate the Fa again. But I was, in actuality, hiding my fear and thus worked for the old forces. I have brought bad effects against Dafa. After I was released I studied Teacher's new articles. I felt the Buddha's infinite grace and Teacher's merciful and arduous salvation, but I didn't realize the importance of writing a solemn declaration for Clearwisdom.net. I was trying to find areas in Teacher's lectures to fit my needs, so that I could stay home and have an easier life. But the article "To Fellow Practitioners Who Have Followed a Wicked Path But Have Not Written A Solemn Declaration" woke me up like a club hitting me over the head. I have disappointed Teacher and hindered his efforts to save me. I hereby solemnly declare that all "guarantee letters" I have written are null and void. The things that I've said against my will against Dafa are null and void. I'll vigorously pick up my pace and follow the Fa-rectification process. I'll redouble my effort to compensate for the damage I have done to Dafa.

Practitioner Liu Xinjun, February 1, 2004

http://www.minghui.ca/mh/articles/2004/2/2/66433.html

In 2002, without any legal procedures I was sentenced to one year in a forced labor camp. I slowly lost my way in the darkness of the camp, and succumbed to the evil guards on the September 7. I was controlled by evil and cursed Teacher and Dafa. I was suffering immensely. My righteous thoughts weren't strong and under the mental torture of the evil forces I wrote the "understanding and disclosure" articles every day. At first I was writing against my will and tried to ignore the actual ideas. Later I was following the agents' commands and wrote anything they wanted me to. I was moving further and further away from the path of cultivation, so my wickedness emerged. At one point I even tried my best to work for the evil guards. I "disclosed and criticized" the Fa in two situations. When others couldn't write the "understanding and disclosure," I wrote it for them. I knew I was a sinner, and I lost the courage to live. I just wanted to get away. Under the mental torture of the evil guards I was about to become insane. I knew that my evil deeds were many, and that I'd wrought terrible damage to Dafa. I received retribution: I became very sick. Due to the physical torture I had suffered, I had difficulty walking. They even had me do some of their brainwashing. I was sincerely unwilling to be destroyed under such conditions. I wished my health could worsen so I could go home and continue my cultivation in Dafa.

Later on I became sicker, and they let me leave for hospitalization. I left the wicked environment. Through the help of my fellow practitioners, Fa study and practicing the exercises, I could soon start walking with crutches. Thanks to Teacher's compassion, I will stand up again and walk my final path correctly. While still under the mental control of the evil beings, I wanted to write a declaration but I was afraid. I kept making excuses; such as I could wait and write it when my labor camp term was over, and then they could no longer control me. So I dragged on without writing the solemn declaration. The labor camp made me write a monthly "thought report." I didn't write it, but I was still afraid. Whenever the labor camp agents came to visit me I was afraid, and I couldn't look them in the eyes. I was afraid that they would take me back. I was wishing that time could move faster. I had missed so many chances that Teacher had given me to stand up to validate the Fa again. I also helped increase the evil guards' persecution against me. Then, in mid-November, the labor camp told me that they would proceed to release me if I would write the "conclusion and guarantee of my understanding" within one week; if not, I would have to face the consequences. I was awakened. I realized how dangerous my path had been. I remembered Teacher's article "The Knowing Heart": "Grand talk counts for naught when it comes to life and death." Strong righteous thoughts filled my body. I would not wait any longer, and I would not let the evil find more reasons to persecute me. I hereby state that I will completely deny the old force's arrangements. I will value this chance that Teacher has given me. I must use my actions to compensate for the damage I have done to Dafa. I will steadfastly cultivate Falun Dafa, get back on my feet completely and fulfill my prehistoric vows. I hereby solemnly declare: all the anti-Dafa materials that I wrote in the labor camp are all null and void!

Chai Xiaoju, November 2003

http://www.minghui.ca/mh/articles/2004/2/7/66828.html