(Clearwisdom.net) I used to limit my scope of truth clarifications to people I knew. I believed that this was the safest way. I used every opportunity to talk to my relatives, friends, former classmates, colleagues, supervisors at work, and even the vendors on the street. However, I was not always sure if they had understood what I said. Did they agree with me simply out of courtesy?
Every time I read Teacher's articles, I felt very ashamed and worried at the same time. I knew that I had not done my best. It was not enough to just talk to them. I admire those who go out and distribute materials on the street. I was hoping that one day I would have the courage to do that.
In my mind, I had the notion that if I went out to distribute materials, I would be arrested and sentenced, and that would be the end of it. I could not imagine any other outcome. To comfort myself, I gave myself excuses: I am a new practitioner; I have only practiced for a year; I cannot compare myself to veteran practitioners; I have already tried very hard to practice and study the Fa and my xinxing is improving; I have helped many practitioners to communicate with the outside world, etc. But when all was quiet and I asked myself again, I still felt ashamed. I didn't do what a practitioner should do during this time. I did not take up my responsibilities, and I did not accomplish my mission.
Distributing materials for the first time
One of my fellow practitioners was arrested for distributing truth-clarifying materials. When she was released, she continued to do so again and nothing happened to her. I admired her so much. I told her that I also wanted to go out and distribute materials but that I was afraid. She said, "You will still have to do it. After you do it once, you will do it a second time." She was right: if I did not try, how could I know that it was not OK? If I set a realistic goal for myself for the first time, if I just gave out one flyer, it could not be that difficult.
The next day I put some flyers in my bag and went out to shop in a store. I handed a brochure to the salesperson. She took it gladly and read it out loud. When I was buying grapes on the street, I took out another leaflet and handed it to the vendor, but she hesitated. I said to her, "Don't worry. I picked it up on the ground over there." A girl next to her grabbed it and said, "I want it, I want it."
I was relieved and excited on my way home. It was not so bad after all. I regretted that I had not brought more with me so that I could continue to distribute them.
Before my excitement subsided, a practitioner warned me that there was considerable risk in giving out materials in person. The police has allocated huge sums of money for rewards for arresting Falun Gong practitioners. Plainclothes police were everywhere. It was better to put flyers in phone booths, which were safe and rainproof. Those with predestined relationships would get them.
Following that advice, on the third day I went out with some brochures after dinner. It did not go smoothly. After an hour of walking around half the city and passing over a hundred phone booths, I was not able to give out one single leaflet. It seemed everything was lit up and there were people everywhere. It was as if, whatever I did, I was being watched.
Depressed, I walked home. I thought to myself, "No matter what, I have to give out one." So I went out again to the nearby market and threw one brochure on the meat counter. Then I turned around and ran home.
Looking for a different way
I felt anxious and decided that I had to look for a different approach. Then I saw the rows of mailboxes in front of my building. An idea came to me: why didn't I just put the flyers in the mailboxes? Wouldn't that be safer?
I tried it for a week, but gave up when I found that most of the mailboxes were deserted. That was too much of a waste. Once I went out in the middle of the night, but that didn't work either. There were more police cars than pedestrians.
Later on I chose some dark corners and went out to place the brochures there around 9 p.m. Pedestrians only noticed them in the morning. It was workable, but it was hard to find those dark corners. Oftentimes I had to walk around the whole night before I was able to place four or five copies.
One day on my way home I passed by a dormitory and remembered that a friend of mine lived there. She lived on the seventh floor. I walked up the stairs, but she was not there. I thought to myself, "This is such a good place to leave materials." I took out the truth clarification CD's I had and walked down the stairs leaving one CD behind for each floor. Then I walked to another building. No one was around that one, either, so I did the same thing there.
It was great. There were so many residential buildings for me to distribute material to. On my way home everyday, I made a detour to leave some CD's behind. I was able to put out quite a few copies each time. I had finally found a way that was the most suitable for me.
Burning CD's myself
Another practitioner regularly brought me CD's to distribute. Usually I could distribute all of them in one night. Every time I distributed them, I felt very excited and relieved. I was more motivated to practice and study the Fa. After a while, I felt that it was still not the best way. I was too passive. In fact, I could go out to distribute the materials every day. It did not affect my life and my studies. But I did not have enough materials to do it.
Truth materials were hard to come by, so I decided to establish a material production site at home. Teacher said, "So in clarifying the truth, don't wait, don't rely on others, and don't just hope for changes in external factors. Every one of us is creating history for the future, that's why everyone is not only participating in group activities, but also taking the initiative to look for things to do. As long as something is good for Dafa, you should take the initiative to do it, take the initiative to work on it." ("To All Students at the Nordic Fa Conference")
As soon as I had the idea, I took action. I made a list of things that I needed to buy: a printer, CD burner, paper, and blank CD's. Of these items, the most important were the CD's, but buying in bulk might cause suspicion. However, when I got to the computer store and saw the variety of CD's there, my worries disappeared. I bought five hundred blank discs! The box was so heavy that I could hardly carry it.
I was planning to buy a separate CD burner for my computer. After the salesperson told me about a new computer with which I could watch DVD's and burn CD's with excellent quality, I bought one right away and went online to download materials. Overnight, many copies of Fengyu Tiandixing truth clarification CD's with beautiful pictures and crisp sound quality were born. I bought an HP 1010 laser printer as suggested by a practitioner. Although it was quite expensive, over time it has worked better than the standard inkjet printer because it is easier to use and can print continuously.
I used to think that the CD's I burned were the best. Although the pictures were blurry, I thought it was a problem with the original. One day a practitioner brought CD's from another site to me for comparison. I found out from the web that I had not done it the right way. When I found out the reason, I made better copies.
Where do my funds come from?
My husband does not practice. I have a job, housework, and a child to look after. I don't have much time. I can only use my lunch hour and can only burn a few dozen copies per day. In the evening, I use one hour to distribute them. This is my small material production site.
I used to think that producing materials was not possible. I found out that it was not that hard. Teacher said in Zhuan Falun,
"Actually, I think it depends on the person as to whether it is difficult or not. For an everyday person who does not want to practice cultivation, he will find cultivation practice simply too difficult, inconceivable, or impossible. As an everyday person, he does not want to practice cultivation and will find it very difficult. Lao Zi said: 'When a wise person hears the Tao, this person will practice it diligently. When an average person hears it, this person will practice it on and off. When a foolish person hears it, this person will laugh at it loudly. If this person doesn't laugh at it loudly, it's not the Tao.' To a genuine practitioner, I would say that it is very easy and not something too high to reach."
We are Falun Dafa practitioners and are being watched over by Teacher. Since I started cultivation, I have stepped forward and produced materials, and passed one tribulation after another. I have done all of these things with Teacher's support and mercy. I cannot find the words to express my gratitude towards Teacher. Someone asked me where I got the funds to do this. I answered, "I don't have any external assistance. Every penny comes from my own savings and I am willing to use it on this."
A problem arose after my material production site was established and a few hundred CD's were burned. Who would distribute them? Some practitioners had fears and did not come out. Some said that they could just talk to people and that they didn't need CD's. I could only do it on my own.
Every time I distributed materials, I felt I was alone. I was hoping for a companion. Then I got to know another practitioner. When I told her that I had burned many CD's, she was very excited and said, "Great! Let's distribute them together." I was so happy. Knowing that Teacher arranged everything, I finally found a companion.
We live not too far from each other, so we go out together, bringing along the materials, chatting and laughing along the way. We go in and out of residential buildings as if we live there. The first time, we distributed 25 copies; the second time, we distributed over 60 copies; and the third time, a hundred. I don't worry any more about having problems distributing CD's.
Impossible to pay back Teacher's mercy
As a new practitioner who has not been practicing for a long time, I know very clearly that what I have done is nothing compared to everything I have gained. In cultivation in Falun Dafa, for the 1% we give of ourselves, we gain 100%, 10,000% and 100,000,000%. All we can achieve and all our successes and progress are due to Teacher's care. In the past, I did not understand why I started to practice so late. I know now that everything happens for a reason. First, as a new practitioner, no one has been watching me; secondly, with a stable job and income, I am in good financial shape; thirdly, I have basic computer skills; and fourthly, I have a good family environment, so I have ample time and energy. Everything comes or forms for Falun Dafa. If we have the means but do not do what we should do, that will be our biggest regret. Haven't we been waiting for this day for thousands of years?
My understanding is limited. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.