(Clearwisdom.net)
I obtained the Fa on March 21, 1999. Even at that time I recognized the significance of this day. It was this day that our benevolent Teacher began to arrange my cultivation path. However, things changed dramatically only one month after I obtained the Fa, namely, the April 25th peaceful appeal of 10,000 practitioners outside Zhongnanhai. After that, The Chinese newspapers and TV stations in Toronto copied and quoted a lot of slanderous, deceitful, and groundless propaganda from Mainland China's media. During that period, even while constantly reflecting on my own, I had still been driven by ordinary human thinking at times, but no matter how rampant the slanderous propaganda was, my firm belief in Dafa, and in Teacher, never faltered. In the face of difficult situations or questions, I always kept this firm belief, and remained diligent in cultivation practice. Consequently I became a steadfast and genuine practitioner.
At the beginning of my cultivation practice, through studying the Fa, Teacher opened up my perceptual understanding of the concepts of cosmic dimensions, and guided me into a gigantic cosmic world filled with Budhas, Taos and Gods. The boundless Buddha Fa not only let me step forward from my narrow understanding of life, but also let me step forward from humanness.
I remember shortly after I obtained the Fa, one day while sitting on a sofa and reading Zhuan Falun, I suddenly understood how ridiculous the evil's statement is that claims that our Master of such high level and such lofty realm, would instruct his disciples to "besiege" Zhongnanhai. At the time my whole body and the heavy sofa were all shaking together. Therefore, I realized that a correct way of thinking could bring such an extraordinary change to my body. As I continued reading Zhuan Falun, Dafa disclosed to me even higher Fa principles and I felt as if I was melting into the Fa.
Later, enlightening to hints by Teacher, I started to attend group study and group practice. I found myself making rapid progress while studying with veteran practitioners. The firm belief that veteran practitioners have in Dafa moved me and inspired me to be more diligent in cultivation. In the days that followed, I participated in various Dafa-spreading activities in Toronto.
I participated in appealing in front of the Chinese Consulate on April 25th, 2000. This activity represented one of my significant leaps in stepping forward from humanness.
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In May 2000, Toronto practitioners started broad and wide efforts to clarify the truth thoroughly to the Chinese communities. Two veteran practitioners in our practice site not only steadfastly safeguarded the Fa when Dafa underwent severe persecution; they also led us to strive forward as a unified body. Every morning they pushed a handcart filled with Dafa newspapers to our practice site, so that other practitioners could take the newspapers home and distribute them to the world's people. Their minds were linked with Dafa, and they safeguarded Dafa when my cultivation path was still immature. At that time, I told myself: "You are a person with capability, a person that can endure hardship, and a person that is good at solving problems independently. When Dafa is undergoing such severe persecution, you should devote your strength to Dafa without any reservation, you should take the initiative to clarify the truth to the world's people." With that in mind, I started my own path of spreading the Fa. On weekends, I studied Fa and spread the Fa with other practitioners as a group. On regular days I spread the Fa alone. I overcame the pressure of being a new immigrant, the language barrier, poor financial resources, and physical exhaustion. I consistently placed Dafa as the top priority of my life.
Soon I engaged in working with the Canadian social welfare system, which offers service to the elderly people with illnesses. I usually spent about 1 to 2 hours with each patient, and this offered an advantageous situation for my truth clarification job. Every day when I went to work, I packed my bag with a lot of truth clarification materials, and distributed flyers wherever I went. For example, I spread Dafa at patients' homes, on the streets, on the bus, in a building, in front of a supermarket, in stores, in laundry rooms, or at community centers. It didn't matter where or when I went, I always took the initiative to introduce Dafa and clarify the truth to people. Usually, when I handed out a newspaper, I said, "Falun Dafa is remarkably good."
I used the softest language and the kindest attitude to pass Falun Dafa messages to the world's people. I went through half of the City of Toronto, and I came across a lot of kind people. Even at the time when Dafa was undergoing the most severe persecution, a lot of people were still interested in learning about Falun Gong. I volunteered to talk to strangers nicely and kindly, and answered their questions about Falun Gong. I told them the huge impact "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance" had on my mind and my body. Because of my kindness, I was often rewarded with people's sincerity. I kept applying higher standards to myself--to distribute one more newspaper, to let one more person learn the truth. I often encouraged myself: "Don't be afraid of rejection. Don't be afraid of misunderstanding. The more severe the condition is, the more kindness I should display. Don't tarnish Dafa." Consequently, through the efforts of clarifying the truth, I was able to let go of a great deal of old and stubborn beliefs, and my sense of responsibility toward Dafa became more steadfast.
Because of my past experience of living in Mainland China, I can communicate with new immigrants from China very easily. In the latter half of 1999, I realized that working with new immigrants from China should be the focus of my truth clarification effort, for they are the ones that are the most severely poisoned and deceived by the evil's lies, and they are the biggest victims amidst the evil's damage.
There were a lot of new immigrants from Mainland China near where I lived. In order to spread the Fa to them, I volunteered to talk with them in order to build a good relationship. A lot of immigrants from China were willing to accept Dafa materials. Some even took some materials more than thirty times. Some were very friendly, and expressed their sympathy and understanding toward Dafa, and said the persecution in China is wrong. I also came across a lot of highly educated immigrants from China, and I clarified the truth to them unrelentingly. When I introduced Dafa to them, depending on my audience, I would lay it out differently. My topics were rich, and my points have sound foundations, so people listened to me with smiles on their faces. Sometimes I ran into people with bad attitudes who had a misunderstanding of Dafa. With this kind of person, I would be even more patient, and they usually accepted the newspapers too. Over the past 3 years of living in my apartment building, new tenants have moved in and old tenants have moved out, but my enthusiasm to spread the Fa to them has never diminished. Some have gained a very deep understanding of Dafa, some have already begun cultivation practice, and some have spoken up for Dafa. Through their understanding of Dafa, many Chinese people have offered their support in various ways, and some have expressed their sympathy toward the injustice Dafa has faced. I feel very happy for them from the bottom of my heart, for all this might just be the foundation of their obtaining the Fa in the future.
After the 2001 Fa conference in Washington DC, the significance of clarifying the truth to the Chinese community became even more clear. I thought I should be able to do an even better job. In Toronto, I found ten locations where the Chinese population is high. Every weekend, I took turns going to these ten locations to distribute truth clarification materials to the Chinese people. As the Fa-rectification progresses, more and more people have learned the truth, and it has been a lot easier to distribute Dafa materials. A lot of people are willing to accept Dafa materials. When I distributed flyers, I often sent forth righteous thoughts to cleanse myself. I also told myself to be more merciful, so that more people can learn the truth and have a wonderful future.
During the last 3 years of my truth clarification efforts, I have gathered a lot of stories. One day while walking on the street with Dafa materials on my back, I suddenly saw the Canadian Governor, Ms. Wu Bing Zhi. I walked up to her without any hesitation and handed her many Dafa materials. She said to me, "Good luck to you!"
One day in 2001, I was spreading the Fa near Toronto Lake, I ran into two ladies from Mainland China. After they read the truth clarification materials, they said to me in tears, "Before, we didn't understand Falun Gong. After just seeing the photos of practitioners that were tortured to death by Chinese policemen, we feel so sad. The propaganda in Mainland China is not true. We listened to Falun Gong practitioners' speeches at the Toronto conference, and they mostly talked about how to be good people. Can the two of us do anything for you?" I was quite moved by the two lady's sincerity at the time, and I took a picture with them.
There is a saying in China, "One thinks more of one's family during holiday seasons." Since 2000, my family has never celebrated birthdays and holidays together. Whenever there is a holiday, I always think about our Master who has exhausted all his great mercy for the cosmos, and I also think about my fellow practitioners in China who are enduring inhumane torture in prisons. However, my thoughts and sorrows transformed into forces to clarify the truth to the world's people. During the Christmas season of 2000, I cut down my weekly working hours, and went out into areas where there were large populations of Westerners, and distributed Dafa materials. My pure and clean heart was lifted up by the thick snow on the ground. I let the world's people learn about the great Buddha Fa in the midst of the joyful and happy holiday season. On the New Years Day of 2001, with 3 packs of newspapers on our backs, my husband and I went to Northwest Toronto to spread the Fa. We distributed newspapers on a roadside. After we were finished our feet were wounded with bloody blisters. Nevertheless our hearts were warm.
Teacher said in Essentials for Further Advancement: "Shan is the manifestation of the nature of the universe at different levels and in different dimensions. It is also the fundamental nature of Great Enlightened Beings. Therefore, a cultivator must cultivate Shan and assimilate to the nature of the universe, Zhen-Shan-Ren." Over the past 2 years, during the course of clarifying the truth to the world's people, Dafa has bestowed upon me a broad and pure heart. I have handed out more than ten thousands copies of flyers and newspapers. I have never had conflicts with anyone. I have never bad-mouthed anybody. I have walked my own path righteously in the process to "validate the Fa with rationality, clarify the truth with wisdom, spread the Fa and save people with mercy" ("Rationality").
When I was distributing newspapers in East Chinatown, there was an elderly Chinese man who often passed by. Each time he came to me, he would complain; however, I never took his complaint to heart. One day he passed by me again, and unexpectedly, he dropped the thing he was holding in his hand. I immediately picked it up and handed it to him with a smile on my face. I noticed he suddenly changed to a different person. He no longer had complaints and he took some Dafa materials while smiling at me. He even said "Thank you." From this experience, I realized that benevolence has boundless power. Dafa disciples are shouldering the great responsibility of assisting Teacher in Fa-rectification. One benevolent thought of ours, one warm word of ours, one kind greeting of ours, and one smile of ours can melt the misunderstanding and enable more people to be saved. Conversely, an unkind attitude could push a life that could have been saved to the opposite side of Dafa.
On another occasion when I was distributing newspapers in East Chinatown, as I looked at the crowd of people that came one after another, my compassion suddenly started to emerge. I told myself: " I will treasure every body I meet on the street, just as I treasure my own life." Instantly, I felt as if my body formed one body with those people that passed by me in a hurry, and they were just like every cell in my life. Fa has bestowed upon me a deeper inner content, and the tone I use (when spreading the Fa) has become even gentler and softer. When talking to strangers on the street, I talked to them as if I was calling upon their hearts from my heart. As I did that, compassion shined on our hearts like the warm sunshine.
Looking inward to perfect my own cultivation path
I learned to look inward ever since I started my cultivation practice. In the beginning it was only limited to my own individual cultivation practice. As I studied the Fa more deeply and gained higher understandings of Fa principles, I tried my best to determine things according to Fa when I encountered problems in my daily life, and I checked to see if things were complying with a cultivators' standard. I applied the standard of "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance" to measure my conduct. Teacher said in Zhuan Falun: "Almost everyone is born with karma built upon karma, and everyone's body has quite a lot of karma." Knowing this, I seriously faced my own karma, my deviated concepts, selfish mind-intent, and a lot of various attachments and desires. Sometimes when dealing with my karma, I had difficulty letting go of it and was controlled by it. Even though I was aware of this, I still had a hard time letting go. In the face of deeply hidden attachments, I realized that living beings had deviated so far away from the Fa, and it is Teacher's mercy to give this opportunity to Dafa disciples for the first time throughout the ages. Once I looked at Teacher's picture with tears in my eyes--someone like me with karma all over my body could have the opportunity to obtain salvation from Teacher. Teacher said in "Eliminate your last attachment(s)": "I know all of the suffering of my disciples. The truth is, I treasure you more than you treasure yourselves!" I felt that Teacher's mercy was as boundless as the cosmos; it's extremely deep and far-reaching. What Teacher has offered every genuine disciple is the best. He balances the karmic debts at different levels, purifies us from the origin of our lives, and transforms us dramatically from the microscopic levels of our mind. The long waiting throughout history, the wish to return to the truth, and the confusion in the maze developed when we went astray--all these have been transformed into genuine Dafa disciples' determination to cultivate ourselves well. Look inward, keep looking inward, and continue to keep looking inward.
As I gained a higher understanding of Fa principles, gradually my cultivation practice has become more mature. Whenever I elevated to a higher level, I would look inward from that new place. I examined myself amidst conflicts, and eliminated any substance that didn't belong to Dafa. Through the process of continuously purifying myself, I have elevated to higher levels.
As Dafa practitioners, our cultivation practice must be linked with Fa-rectification. At this time when the cosmos is undergoing Fa-rectification, treasuring the opportunity of cultivation during the Fa-rectification period is the same as treasuring Teacher's merciful salvation. I feel that the more human baggage I throw away, the better job I can perform in spreading Dafa, and the more righteously I can walk my cultivation path. My cultivation practice over the past 3 years has enabled me to throw away a great deal of attachments and desires, and now the only thing left in my mind is Dafa. I am no longer attached to the success and glory that I once possessed in China. I face my current living and working environment with peace of mind, and I enjoy it very much. When I have fewer attachments, I experience the wonder of nothingness, and my mind becomes even more tranquil. Now, I am grasping every spare moment to clarify the truth to the precious Chinese people.
In 2000, I first learned from a veteran practitioner to clarify the truth by using a fax machine to send news to China. I have persisted in doing so until now. At that time, the conditions were not very good and I was inexperienced. Sometimes I sat by the fax machine for 3 to 4 hours and didn't get any good result. But I thought to myself--even if one out of 100 is successful, I will still be persistent, for the practitioners in China are safeguarding Dafa with their lives. Therefore, over the past 2 years, I have sent over one thousand copies of truth clarifying fax materials to different media, industries, and even remote areas in China. Once I sent a fax to an export company in China. In the morning, the staff members of that company were surprised to find positive information of Dafa from the fax. The whole company was talking about this, and some thought that what the government had reported was too extreme and deceitful. I often sent faxes to TV stations in China. Once when I called a TV station, somebody answered the phone with a laugh and said: "I know what happened to Falun Gong, and I understand you guys."
Making phone calls to China, to me, is the most efficient, specific and convincing way. At the beginning, I was a little reluctant to make phone calls. I was afraid that my friends and colleagues would ask me what kind of work I have been doing here, and I didn't want to call the police departments or labor camps, for fear that they would bad-mouth me or hang up the phone. I was interfered with by various human concepts. I kept looking inward. Through Fa study I realized that this was the attachment of vanity and fear that had stopped the side of my original nature from doing Fa-rectification. After I threw away these postnatal concepts of various kinds, I was able to make more phone calls to China, and I was able to reach more and more people--including relatives, good friends, news media, police departments, and residential areas, etc... I once called a chief director of a police department. In the beginning he spoke strongly about how a national machine (the police department) should protect the interests of the government. I told him that the people bestowed the real power. I told him the principle that "Water can make a boat float, but it can also make a boat sink." I told him the true significance of Falun Gong practitioners' peaceful appeal and the spreading of Dafa all over the world. He said, "You Falun Gong practitioners are posting truth clarification materials everywhere." I replied, "That's because the government wouldn't give them any chance to tell the truth. They are actually telling a true story to the world's people at the expense of their lives." He must have sensed my genuine heart, for at the end of our discussion he told me sincerely that he would no longer torture Falun Gong practitioners.
I think the news media in China have played a big role of intensifying the persecution toward Dafa with false reports. However, a lot of them are being deceived by the government, so it's very important to clarify the truth to them. I've made phone calls to newspaper companies, magazine companies, and TV stations. Upon hearing my introduction of Falun Dafa, out of their professional instincts, they would ask me some key questions, and I would answer their questions with patience, and clear the doubts in their minds. One editor once said to me: "Thank you for your phone call. I hope you have a happy life living abroad."
Once I went to a newspaper company to place some Falun Gong advertisements. The newspaper is published every Friday with a circulation volume of twenty thousand copies per week. It is one of the favorite newspapers for new immigrants from China. The man in charge told me that they were going to publish four articles about Falun Gong from Mainland China's media. I told them not to. He argued with me loudly and wouldn't give me any chance to talk. I grasped an opportunity to tell him a story about Jesus. I sensed that his heart was a little touched by what I had said, and his tone calmed down a lot. He gave me the article. I read the article on my way home, and it was an article that slandered Dafa with disgusting language. Being aware of the serious condition, I realized I had to solve the problem as soon as possible. As soon as I got home, I quickly picked up the phone and called the man in charge of the newspaper. I told him about the severity and consequence of his action, I also told him about the karmic relationship of how good and bad would be rewarded accordingly. My attitude was firm and my thoughts were righteous. With my persuasion, he guaranteed to me that he would not let those 4 articles be published in the newspaper. So I realized, in the midst of safeguarding the Fa, each practitioner has an obligation that he must not ignore. "Don't wait and don't rely on others" (from Master's "To All Students at the Nordic Fa Conference"). Doing so is a manifestation of Dafa disciples' being responsible for Dafa as well as a manifestation of Dafa disciples' mercy. Later on, I made several efforts to continue clarifying the truth to this newspaper company, and I did it with a compassionate mind. Ever since then, they no longer publish any articles to damage Dafa; instead, they have been publishing positive and promotional reports on Dafa in their newspaper.
The Fa-rectification process is moving on at an unprecedented speed. I often have a sense urgency in my heart. I feel I have done too little for Dafa. I wonder if I can face our great benevolent Teacher with no regrets in the future.
Finding my way home
The memory of once possessing something kind and wonderful has always lingered deeply in my mind. I have had a strong wish to seek my true home. During my juvenile years, I had thought about going to a place where everybody is kind, and as I grew older my desire also grew stronger. I had numerous sleepless nights with tears in my eyes. Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance was once the origin of my life. Perhaps my life has been lost for so long that my longing for Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance has become a wonderful expectation.
Yet, the reality of life broke my dream into pieces. The fast decline of human moral standards in the real world had made it difficult to find a piece of pure land. I used to feel helpless, sad and miserable. To survive in the world, I used to produce great amounts of karma. To escape from the agony of the human world, I used to find a safe haven by indulging myself in the world of literature and arts. I have visited the eight most beautiful countries in the world. Yet, neither the prosperity of the city, nor the serenity of the countryside brought any happiness to me. When I became a Falun Dafa practitioner in 1999, it seemed as if I had found a resting place for my heart. My mind, which used to be restless, suddenly became tranquil, and I started to feel blessed and happy. I know nothing can separate me from Dafa, because it is my real home.
Today, in China, they are hundreds of thousands of lives like us waiting for salvation. They are eagerly waiting for us to clear the puzzlement from their minds as we clarify the truth to them. In order that they may fulfill the vows they made a long, long time ago, our merciful Teacher has been waiting and waiting.
Every day, as I watch the magnificent acts of practitioners in China stepping forward to safeguard Dafa and clarify the truth, my mind also ascends to higher levels accordingly. I often encourage myself with Teacher's poem "Solid Cultivation":
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"Study the Fa and obtain the Fa,
Learning and cultivating under guidance,
Referring to the Fa in doing everything,
Compliance is cultivation."
With this conference, I would like to get a fresh start at a higher level. I would like to offer more merciful salvation to my dearest countrymen in my dearest motherland.
All the misery and turmoil for the past 5000 years,
All the history and culture for the past 5000 years,
All for an arrangement made in an ancient time,
All of a sudden, a sound of breaking thunder on the east horizon,
It is the magnificent Buddha Fa!
Thank you Teacher, thank you everybody.