I was raised in a Northeastern city, and from youth was educated to love the Party, love my country, serve the people, and to be a kind and bright citizen. After college I landed a job at a TV studio, and effectively completed every project. Gradually, I realized that all the upright programs that reflected everyday life were cancelled, and those programs that reported true events were being ordered to be terminated. I became increasingly disheartened.

During the severe floods of 1998, I was assigned to report on the situation at the disaster sites. Previously, I had seen on television many reports of heroic rescuers full of righteousness, singing patriotic songs. When I arrived at the scene, I was infuriated, because the "natural" disasters were actually the result of immoral human actions. During the past ten years funding for flood control had been embezzled by local officials, resulting in sloppy and substandard construction along the Changjiang River. Every time a dam overflowed, many people lost their lives. What was more upsetting was that the items donated to disaster areas were being sold illegally. I witnessed a bottle of spring water selling for the outrageous price of 10 Yuan, when one can buy it for about 1.2 Yuan at a supermarket. Citizens in the disaster areas shed tears and lost blood, and in the end this was the kind of "assistance" they received. At the disaster area, I never got enough sleep at night, as I indignantly recorded all the facts and captured the most accurate video footage. When I arrived back at the studio, eager to see my report broadcast, the editor took my video and did not respond for a long time. When I inquired about it, he always hesitated to answer and afterwards dropped the project.

Disappointed, I lost my enthusiasm for my job.

I just cannot accept what has unfolded lately. The government's persecution of Falun Gong was becoming more and more disturbing and unthinkable. I had worked on some Falun Gong stories before and covered some events, but there was no way to convey the truth -- the government's prejudiced stance had to be abided by, and what was being reported to the people was anything but the truth. I was baffled, but something even more outrageous occurred. Recently, after a few areas broadcasted the truth about Falun Gong, many TV stations received orders and were "mobilized" as if facing a formidable enemy. At our studio, all employees' ancestors had to be traced back and investigated to three generations, and everyone had to complete thick loyalty documents. When arriving and leaving the studio, we all had to show a card to verify our identification.

A month ago I was out of town, and on my way back I noticed policemen question pedestrians. They were forced to say the name of Falun Gong's founder, and then utter a slanderous sentence. Otherwise, they would be arrested. I was furious at the cruelty of their tactic. How could a public government employee coerce citizens to curse at someone, and view "refusing to curse" as a reason for arrest? Back at the studio, something even more unreasonable was waiting for me. In the front lobby a picture of Falun Gong's founder was spread out on the floor. The security guard told me that I must walk across it, or else... I was shocked and speechless. What kind of corrupt mind could possibly think of such a nasty way to force people to engage in such sinful deeds? I didn't want to stomp on anyone's picture, nor did I think stomping on the picture of someone I didn't know was a proper act. In fact, it was an evil deed. The government was forcing people to step on the picture and swear at it, as if they were unwilling to cease until every single trace of the Chinese people's de (virtue) was squandered.

(This article was taken from Da Can Kao, and has undergone editing.)