Greetings Master Li. Greetings fellow practitioners. I am a practitioner from New York City.
Cultivation is going very fast amidst the Fa-rectification period. Due to the speed at which things are moving and the sacredness of the mission we carry out as Dafa particles, I feel it becomes increasingly important to study the Fa, check our understandings and share experiences with others to ensure that each particle truly keeps pace with the Fa-rectification. Therefore, I would like to take a few moments and relate some recent experiences I've had while cultivating within this Fa-rectification period.
Uncovering Fundamental Attachments
Shortly after my wedding last month, my wife and I got up one morning to do the exercises. We found a nice spot on the grass, spread our plastic bags out and sat down. I took off my watch and wedding ring and put them into one of my shoes. I started the cassette tape and then we began to meditate. After the hour was over, I put my watch back on, put on my shoes and began to head towards the car. At one point, I felt something in my shoe so, without looking or paying too much attention, I leaned over, took off my shoe, shook out whatever it was in my shoe, put my shoe back on and kept walking.
A few hours later as we were driving back to catch our plane home, I looked at my left hand and realized that there was no ring. "Uh oh," I said. I told my wife and what followed was a rather uncomfortable silence. Soon, however, the tension receded and we began to discuss why I had lost the ring. After I made a few guesses that didn't seem quite right, my wife began to complain about how I didn't seem to treat things having to do with my personal life with respect. That is, I did not mind the minor details well.
Furthermore, she told me that she didn't quite understand how me and some of my other friends were always running around doing things for Dafa, while virtually ignoring the people and circumstances around us that did not directly relate to Dafa work. I began to think about this issue and found that indeed she was right. I was often so focused on Dafa work, that on many occasions each and every day I failed to hold myself to the standard of a practitioner in my dealings with everyday people and everyday circumstances. In fact, I can often remember feeling impatient or anxious when having to interact with people or attend a social gathering that did not directly relate to Dafa work. I would think to my self that I just wanted to leave. In the article "To All Students at the Nordic Fa Conference," Master said: "Every person you come into contact with in society is someone to clarify the truth to, and what's manifest in clarifying the truth is Dafa disciples' mercy and salvation of the people of the world. I hope that every Dafa disciple will fully take initiative and fully play his role as a Dafa disciple." I was so focused on Dafa work that I was failing to truly cultivate myself to the point where I could hold myself to the standard of a Dafa disciple. Consequently, I lost many opportunities to clarify the truth about Dafa to people.
I began to probe this issue to see what attachments lay beneath my inability to cultivate myself to the standard of a Dafa disciple amidst the Fa-rectification period and I discovered something: I was more interested in and fascinated by the glorious image of Buddha and the righteousness of the Buddha's realms, than I was in the cultivation process that would take me there. That is to say, when studying the Fa or handling the work for Dafa, I would pay full attention and give my heart to the matter, but when placed in a situation in everyday life that required me to show compassion for someone, exert extra effort to help an everyday person, or even do something simple like clear my plate of food so that none would go to waste, my interest waned a great deal. Master said in Eliminate Your Last Attachment(s), "...a student who does his schoolwork well will naturally be admitted to college, whereas a student who is attached to being admitted to college but who doesn't do his schoolwork well won't be admitted." I think I was so captivated by the prospect of College and by the work that I thought was directly related to College that I was not concentrating on the fundamental studies that would ensure my entrance into College. As a result, my work for Dafa frequently often met with difficulties and my ability to reveal the Truth, suffocate the Evil and assist Master in the Fa-rectification process was hindered.
In the weeks following the uncovering of this attachment, I made great leaps forward and was better able to do work for Dafa. However, while recognizing this attachment was a big step in my cultivation process, in order to cultivate myself to the point where I can truly hold myself to the standard of a Dafa disciple in every situation is proving to be long-term test. I will continue to make diligent efforts in this area.
Further Uncovering Fundamental Attachments
Some time ago I was reading the article "Towards Consummation," in which Master says: "Studying the Fa with attachments is not genuine cultivation. Yet during the course of cultivation a person may gradually become aware of his own fundamental attachments, rid himself of them, and thus meet the criteria for being a cultivator." I stopped and wondered what were the fundamental attachments that I still had, which are still planted deep in my heart?
One attachment that had been with me for a long time was the fear of being amongst everyday people in the world. That is, fear of the confusion, attachments and degeneration of the world.
When I was just a teen-ager, I began to explore the teachings of Lao-Tzu. After high-school I had emerged myself in the study of Esoteric Buddhism, and then I found the Dafa. I had always thought that my obvious inclination to Eastern ideals was easily attributable to many past lives as a Buddhist Monk or Taoist. I had used this scenario as an excuse for my reclusive nature. After the crackdown in China began, time and time again opportunities for me to step forward and interact with the media, government officials, large groups of people I didn't know and other such environments came up, and I would often only reluctantly participate. This reluctant approach would often hinder my ability to clarify the truth to people.
While reading from Master's articles, however, I have gained an understanding that this is just another fundamental attachment. In a sense, I was using Dafa as a shield to protect me from the degeneration, attachments and confusion of everyday life. During the time of my observing this attachment, Master had just taught at the Fa Conference in Ottawa, Canada. In doing the five minute exercise of cleaning out the bad thoughts, karma and bad notions and external interference from my mind, I began to see a dramatic change in the way I interacted with people and dealt with situations. Whereas before I would rely heavily on e-mail to communicate with people, now I am more apt to just pick up the phone to talk with people directly. In organizing activities and dealing with other practitioners, I no longer shrink away from talking with people or addressing conflicts directly. Instead, I face matters head-on, without fear, shyness or a sense of reclusiveness. In this last stage of Fa-rectification, this huge attachment that I had carried with me for so long just melted away.
I feel this was extremely important for me to overcome during this final period of Fa-rectification because the mission of Dafa particles is to help Master in the Fa-rectification process. To do this, we need to employ all the everyday people's means to rectify the Fa at the human level. This involves meeting with government officials, getting the media to help reveal the truth of what is happening in China, approaching every people's associations and social groups as well as using each every opportunity to clarify the truth to people all with one clear purpose -- to suffocate the evil, to clarify the truth and to let people know about Dafa. Looking back, I see that harboring attachments of reclusiveness and disgust for the world was a huge obstacle for me in assisting Master in rectifying the Fa. Overcoming this attachment was not only cultivating myself, but purifying and strengthening my ability to assist Master in the Fa-rectification process.
Have a Clear Mind for Sending Forth Righteous Thoughts:
After Master taught us to send forth righteous thoughts in Ottawa, I had been having a difficult time having a clear mind while doing the five minutes of sending forth righteous thoughts. I would sit there reciting the verse, but often feeling muddle-headed. Consequently, I had a very difficult time believing that what I was doing was truly having any affect nor that I was really sending forth righteous thoughts. I recognized this shortcoming and realized this indicated that I was not studying and cultivating myself sufficiently to the standard required of us at this time during the Fa-rectification period. And so, I set myself to study well Essentials for Further Advancement and all of Master's latest articles. A two or three days later, I finished working on the computer quite late in the evening. Despite the lateness of the hour, I was still feeling quite strong and clear. I decided to sit down and do five minutes of cleaning up my own mind and five minutes of sending forth righteous thoughts.
Suddenly, swarms of doubts and concerns began to assail my mind. Fundamental questions about Master and the Fa began to attack my mind. I grew a little concerned, but then one clear, piercing thought ran through my mind, "Zhen-Shan-Ren is the Fa." This one righteousness thought cut through all doubts and confusion. After that, all else went very quiet. I did five minutes of cleaning up my own my mind and then five minutes of sending forth righteous thoughts. My mind was calm and quiet, and the righteous thought of "Fa-Zhen-Qian-Kun, Xie-e Quan-Mie" was clear and unencumbered.
Upon reflecting on this incident, I realized that I had stumbled into the period of Fa-rectification when Master would open up our supernormal capabilities without a clear understanding. This new period of Fa-rectification, however, immediately showed me where I fell short. Being muddle-headed while sitting to send forth righteous thoughts showed me that my understanding of this period was not clear and my cultivation practice was not up to the standard required of us at this time. I had to be more diligent and do better in studying the Fa. Once I had made an effort to increase my understanding of this period and be more diligent in my cultivation, my ability to send forth righteous thoughts became more clear and focused.
A Comprehensive Test
As Dafa disciples, what we are facing right now is a most comprehensive and thorough test. Not only the practitioners in China, but also those abroad. Can those of us with tremendous work-loads still take our path well? While working for Dafa and in the face of countless deadlines for work that is important during this special period of time, can we still place emphasis on studying the Fa truly...not just obeying a human type of discipline in reading a chapter of Zhuan Falun every night, but truly put our heart into reading without interfering thoughts and intentions. Can we, amidst all the tribulations and the urgent pressing need to do what is required of us in the current period of Fa-rectification, still cultivate ourselves and mind the minor details of our lives? I believe that to cultivate ourselves to the standard of a Dafa disciple in this period is indeed the most comprehensive test of our xinxing, and, at the same time, it is the only way to ensure that we may properly carry out our sacred mission as Dafa particles. It is establishing our might virtue amidst Fa-rectification. It is the process through which we purify ourselves while assisting Master in rectifying the Fa.
It is my understanding that as long as we diligently study and come together to openly share experiences and discuss our work, there is no problem that cannot be solved, there is no obstacle in the Fa-rectification that Dafa disciples cannot overcome. It is only when disciples get entrenched in conflict and disagreements, that the work for Dafa is inhibited and demonstrates that the evil forces are utilizing the attachments of practitioners to inhibit the work of cultivators. Let us all strive forward together, assisting each other and sharing our understandings so that we finish well our mission of assisting teacher during Fa-rectification.
These are just a few of my understandings.