Esteemed Master and Fellow Practitioners, greetings!

I am a practitioner from Boston. I work at a medical research institute of Harvard University. Today, Id like to share with you my cultivation experience in the process of petitioning during a recent trip back to China.

Since July 22 of last year, every time I read the articles on Minghui net about courageous practitioners in China risking their lives to petition to the government for Dafa, I was so touched that tears always came down and covered my face. I too had the thought of going back to petition, but due to various reasons, I wasnt able to go. My mother became critically ill this past March. She attained the Fa in June 1999, and after only one month of cultivation, the illnesses that she had been suffering from, lung cancer, high-blood pressure, and diabetes, completely disappeared. She went from a very sick person, unable to care for herself in daily life, to a very healthy individual. Due to the suppression by the Chinese government, however, she stopped cultivating. I worried about her momentary foolishness. In order to help her understand the Fa better and resume cultivation, I decided to go back and talk to her face to face; this would also be an instance of spreading Dafa. Since I decided to go back, then, as a genuine disciple of Dafa, I definitely wanted to petition to the government and say a few just words for Dafa and Master. As soon as I had this thought, I immediately felt waves of warm currents flow through my entire body, and I couldnt help bursting into tears. Looking back at my two years of cultivation, how much Master has endured in order to save us is "Enduring all sufferings in the human world, caring about every affair in the heaven." Yet Master is being so maliciously slandered and framed, and Dafa is being so severely sabotaged. Safeguarding the Fa is a disciples undeniable responsibility. I merely had this one thought, and Master gave me such compassionate encouragement.

Once I made my decision, I started preparing. During the process of preparation, all kinds of attachments in my mind started to come out ceaselessly. I used to think that I didnt have any big attachments and that I could just go when I had to go, and that I could relinquish anything. As soon as I decided to petition, I discovered that I was indeed emotionally attached to my family, my workplace, and even this world. If I did not return from petitioning, how difficult it would be for my wife to live in the US and take care of our child all by herself. In addition, I thought about my mother, who was in critical condition and needed caring and help. If the first news about me, after leaving China for five years, without once going back, is that Im detained or imprisoned, will she be able to take the blow? These attachments went on and on. These thoughts were just like wild horses having broken their halters, galloping forward. Only then did I truly realize that I had so many attachments! How difficult it is to step out! I also truly came to understand the courage of those disciples in China who repeatedly went to petition. I understood that this was the beginning of the testing for me, and I must take this step forward.

On my journey back to China, I used every opportunity to promote Dafa. On the airplane, I met a Chinese immigrant from Canada who was going back to visit relatives in China. He said skeptically, that his mother also practiced Falun Gong but her high-blood pressure still wasnt cured. After some inquiry, I learned that his mother was only practicing the movements and hadnt seriously studied the Fa. While practicing the exercises, she was still taking medications and had merely treated the practice as an auxiliary means to her hospital treatment. I patiently explained to him about the special features of Falun Gong as well as the relationship between cultivating xin-xing and practicing the movements. He became very interested after hearing this and was very grateful. He said that he would definitely tell his mother to seriously study the Fa when he got there. This made me realize that in order to validate Dafa, we, Falun Dafa disciples must first rectify our own hearts and genuinely cultivate ourselves according to Dafa. Only in this way will we not leave loopholes to be taken advantage of by demons. On the way, no matter whether it was at a bus stop or at the hotel, I used all possible time to read Zhuan Falun, recite Lun Yu, or listen to recordings of Masters lectures at different places. It was the same in public surroundings; it seemed as if no one noticed my existence and as if everything was very calm and peaceful.

When I arrived home, my heart grieved when I saw how my mother was suffering and her state of having lost almost all understanding of the Fa. My mother told me that before the government banned Falun Gong, they had been going to the park every morning at 4 oclock to practice the exercises. Sometimes they encountered heavy rain during practice, but not one of nearly a thousand people left and continued until the end of the practice. Nobody got sick from this, and they were a hundred times as energized after practice. But now, some stopped cultivating, many secretly practiced in at home, and those who were brave enough to petition have been detained, beaten, or imprisoned. Some still havent been released up to this day. Many peoples telephones are bugged, residence under surveillance, and so on. These things really shook me up and made me truly come to realize the severe damage to the cultivation environment in Mainland China and the extent of evilness of the suppression by the government! I couldnt help thinking: with such evil people, can there be anything to say! Is there a necessity to petition? Immediately, I realized that this was a test for me. It is exactly because its so evil that it is even more necessary to go and say a few just words for Dafa, and for Master.

After a week of studying the Fa and doing the exercises, my mothers physical condition visibly improved, and she could sit in the lotus position for nearly an hour. At this point my variety of different thoughts again came out. I was thinking that since she just resumed cultivation, what she needed the most was my staying by her side, and that if I left her now, it was possible that we would part forever. "Perhaps I can postpone the petition and go at some other time?" I realized that this was a test to see if I could let go of the attachment to sentimentality. My heart suddenly calmed down. I understood that my mother had Master taking care of her and that she had to walk her own path. When my mother heard that I was leaving so soon, she began yelling but immediately calmed down since after all, she is a cultivator. She said, "You go ahead and leave. I am all right. I will listen to Teachers Fa everyday and persist in practicing the exercises." I read to her a few more articles by Teacher, and she became calm and convinced. I felt very happy for, together, we mother and son passed a test.

I planned to leave for Beijing on April 11th and petition on the 12th. The night before I left, I received a call from my wife in the US. It was said that from the 12th, the mainland government was going to start another round of even more severe persecution of Falun Gong, since it was approaching April 25th. I knew in my heart that this was another test for me. I was determined to petition. I told her not to worry about me, and that nothing would happen to me. The morning of the 11th, I said farewell to my mother and set off on a flight to Beijing. Throughout the journey, I was only thinking about how I must go and say a few just words for Dafa and Master, and was reciting "Lun Yu" over and over again.

Arriving in Beijing, I wanted to go to Tiananmen to see if there were any activities of Dafa disciples. After dinner, I left Xidan and walked toward Tiananmen along the Chang-an Boulevard. As I was walking, I recited "Lun Yu" loudly. The power of Dafa made me suddenly feel that I was very tall and had boundless strength all over my body. I raised my head, straightened my back, and walked forward in big strides. I noticed that very few people from the bustling crowd noticed me. When I passed by the entrance to Zhong-nan-hai, none of the plain clothed policemen or guards bothered with me either. When I reached the Golden-Water Bridge in the Tiananmen Square, I finished reciting. I looked around and saw nothing that was worth stopping for, so I walked toward the Tiananmen square again. I saw that the heavy presence of police and plain-clothed police had cast a stern atmosphere in the square. At that time, I was thinking, "Im going to go ahead regardless" So I started reciting "Lun Yu" loudly again and walked with big strides toward the monument. At that time, I felt that I was so tall and full of strength, as if I had entered no mans land. Reaching the east side of the monument, I saw a policeman walking towards me and I could not help lowering my voice. Then, I immediately realized that this was my attachment to fear. I am a Dafa practitioner; I am practicing the law of the universe; why should I be afraid of him! And so I raised my voice and recited again: "Only through the Buddhas Fa can mysteries of the universe, time-space, and the human body be completely unveiled." Then I saw the policeman turn his head towards another direction and walk away. Once again, I felt the power of Dafa. As I walked to the front of the monument, I finished reciting. Then a cameraman came to me and asked whether I wanted to take a picture. I did not feel like taking pictures at that moment, so I did not pay any attention to him. When he walked past me, I thought it over again: is this Master Li testing me to see whether or not I would dare take a picture while doing the exercises? Just as I was thinking this, the man walked back again, inquiring whether I wanted to take a picture. This time, without hesitation I said, "Yes." He suggested to me that I take pictures both in front of the monument and the Tiananmen. I agreed and told him to take the pictures no matter what postures I would take. When he was ready to take picture, I put my hands into Jieyin position and started to practice the second set of exercises. After taking a picture of my "holding a wheel in front of the head," he was shocked and stared at me speechlessly for a long time. He then said: "Sr., you cant be that way. For the next picture, dont do that again. You can take just a normal one." I told him that as a Falun Dafa practitioner, if I did not take pictures of practicing Falun Gong here, it would make no sense to take pictures at all. He was silent for a moment, then talked to me with emotion: "I respect very much you cultivators." Then he added firmly: "I will take the picture for you." Thus we went to the front of Tiananmen and took a picture of my "holding a wheel in front of the head" there. However this time, since he was nervous, he took the picture when my arms were just raised to as high as my face. But even so, his action gave me a great deal of encouragement, and enabled me to see the side of humans which respects Buddha. The efforts made by thousands of practitioners, wave after wave, to safeguard the Fa have already established the great image of Dafa.

After I had returned to the hotel, a thought came to my mind: since the governments suppression was so evil and bad, did it still make sense to petition to the government officials and reason with them? Wouldnt it be better for me to go back to the US and to spread Dafa there? But in my mind, I did not want to give up the opportunity to petition to the government. Unable to decide, suddenly, I thought of flipping to a page in Zhuan Falun, in hopes of getting some hint from Master. However, I could not find my book anywhere after searching through my entire luggage. In fact the book was just in my suitcase. I suddenly realized that I came to the capital for a college entry exam, and that Master wanted me to enlighten by myself. So I seriously thought it over again. I still felt that I should go to petition.

The next morning, I set out without taking anything with me. For convenience, I called a taxi. The taxi driver politely invited me into the car. Yet as soon as I told him that I was going to "The National Appealing Office," the driver was astonished and replied: "Sorry, Sr., I have never been there, I dont know the way, could you please find someone else?" So I had to get off the car. I could not believe that even a civilian would be afraid of going there, afraid of getting involved. I must go and face the test. So I called another taxi. This time I did not say where I was going as I got into the car. After the car ran for a while, I told the driver that I was going to the National Appealing Office. This driver too was shocked for a moment and then he unnaturally said that he knew an "appealing office" where there were many policemen and police cars waiting outside. There were people going there to appeal. He then asked me whether I was going there. I told him, "That is just the place that I want to go." On the way to the appealing office, he talked all about how harsh the policemen were, etc. Anybody who heard it would have felt what a terrible experience it was to go to the appealing office. But I reminded myself: I am a Falun Dafa practitioner, how could I be afraid of demons? Thinking about how Master Li has already born so much for us, my mind became firm and steady. From talking to him I became more relaxed and at ease. When we got to the corner of the street where the appealing office was, the driver told me, "the appealing office is right in that alley. It wouldnt be convenient to drive in." So I got off the car to walk there by myself.

At the street entrance, I saw that many police cars of various kinds parked there. Policemen as well as those in plain clothes were everywhere at both sides of the street. Each looked at people with frowning brows and angry eyes. The small alley was completely blocked. They shouted at every civilian passing by, examining IDs. The harsh attitude made everyones hair stand on end and the atmosphere was tense. I asked one elderly man sitting at the side of the street what had caused this. The old man said that it was all for arresting those who appealed for Falun Gong. Another elderly man said angrily: "Was there any day that passed without beating and arresting people? Just to prohibit Falun Gong? Why do they make such a great effort? If people are not allowed to appeal, this office should not be run."

I straightened my clothing. Ignoring the policemen, I walked into the street with no fear or hesitation. I walked for some distance, but no one asked me about anything. I felt curious and so instinctively turned around and looked at the policemen watching at the sides of the alley. Not only didnt they question me but also greeted me by nodding. I felt it was really funny, and thought that, as I am a Dafa practitioner, they should really greet me.

I walked about 10 minutes until I got to the gate of the Appealing Office. There were three policemen at each side of the gate questioning people. One policeman sat on a small stool in front of the gate to block the way. People must show their IDs and explain the reasons of their appeals before they were allowed entrance. According to people nearby it was to prevent Falun Gong practitioners from getting in. I entered directly disregarding the policemen and no one questioned me either. All appealers must show their IDs at the window and get an application form. After filling the form they then go back to the window to register for an appointment. Yet there were only five windows, but several hundred petitioners. Lines were long. While I was waiting in line, a person behind me who looked like a farmer fearfully said in a low voice: just now petitioners for Falun Gong was beaten and arrested at the gate. The person in front of me who looked like a clerk started talking about how bad Falun Gong was. I asked him if he had ever learned or practiced Falun Gong, if he had ever read the books of Falun Gong, and if he had ever met Falun Gong practitioners. He said no, and that he got the information from the newspaper and TV. I told him that Falun Gong was not like what the government depicted, but he still did not believe. This made me realize that as the government fabricated stories, slandered Dafa and fooled people using propaganda, many people who did not know the truth were indeed deceived. I felt deeply that to help our Master safeguard and promote Dafa is an important responsibility of a disciple.

Finally it was my turn in the line. I was a bit happy and also a bit nervous. I started thinking about how to get ready to handle the test that was about to start, when "Bang" the window was rudely shut and a sentence was yelled out: "It is time for break, come back after 2:00PM." At that time I thought that at last it was my turn but the window was shut in front of my face, was it that Master did not want me to come? Should I go home or come back in the afternoon? I then thought that it was another test, to see if I chose to leave or stay. Other Dafa disciples could not come in but I did. It was to see whether or not I dared make a fair statement.

At 2:00PM in the afternoon when I entered the lobby again, the long lines were there again. According to my experience this morning, it would be difficult to get an application form even if I waited in line till the evening. I was worried. What should I do? I came in and out several times as if I had entered no mans land. No one had questioned me, and the policemen seeing me either walked away or nodded to me. Was it that I really should not appeal? But when thinking about leaving, I always felt a sense of guilt that was hard to describe. Just then, a person nearby me who came from Tianjin to appeal for unemployment issue said loudly: "There are really those with courage. Just now I met a Falun Gong practitioner at the gate. The policemen asked her what she was here for, she answered that she appealed for Falun Gong. The policemen asked: "Do you know that Falun Gong practitioners are not allowed to appeal?" She answered with no fear: "I do not know." I turned around and asked him what happened later. He said: "She was taken away by the policemen." I realized at once upon hearing this: This was the hint from Master, to see if I had the courage. If I really wanted to appeal I should have the courage to go directly to the policemen. Why did I need to stand in line? I thought I had been busy for the whole day, but just did not have enough courage. I felt firm and sure now. I immediately knocked on the door of the supervisors office and stepped in. A person who seemed to be in charge came to assist me politely. I asked him if all appealers must stand in line and get application forms. He asked what I appealed for. I said I appealed for the issue of Falun Gong. His face turned down immediately and said: "For Falun Gong you do not need to stand in line." He took me at once to a policemens guard room. A policeman there told me harshly to stand at the corridor at the entrance of the building. He ordered me to stand still and not to talk. From the moment I entered this door I felt completely relieved. I thought from now on I would just follow Master's arrangement completely. At the same time, I felt a sense of relief that I never had before.

Also standing there was another Dafa practitioner who came to appeal from the Northeast of China. Looking at her calm and peaceful facial expression, I knew that she was the one who was praised as being courageous by the person from Tianjin.

Later, another four practitioners came from Beijing and other locations as well. They were all happy that they could step out to safeguard the Fa. Especially, there came an old practitioner around 60 years old, from the countryside, with a young practitioner around 20 years old. When they entered the room, they were so calm, so relaxed, and so firm. It seemed as if they were guests who had come to visit their old friends home. Their action was so admirable. In comparison, I saw the difference in my cultivation practice.

We introduced ourselves, and started to exchange experiences. When they learned that I came from the US, they were all delighted. I told them that there were many people practicing Falun Dafa in many countries around the world and that disciples from all the countries were doing their best to spread Dafa. They went to the United Nation and the Capital Hill to spread Dafa. More and more people around the world are getting to know Dafa and support Dafa. Everyone was inspired from hearing that. They in turn told me the situation in Mainland China. More and more disciples understood they should step out. We all felt glorious and sacred to be able to safeguard Dafa and to spread Dafa. During the experience exchange, it seemed as if we were in another dimension.

Not long after, a policeman came to inquire about and write down everyones personal information. Though his attitude appeared very ferocious, his words revealed his concern and respect. It showed the effect of the efforts of mainland disciples, wave after wave, who put down their lives and came out to safeguard and protect Dafa. Dafa had already reached every corner.

After that, the policeman gave each of us a form to write down our reasons for appealing. I wrote down: From the experience of my family and myself practicing Falun Dafa for 2 years, I can assure that Falun Dafa is the righteous cultivation practice. It can raise ones moral standard, and keep one fit; it has great benefits towards society and individuals as well. It does not have an organization or religious formalities. I would like to appeal the following: 1. Restore the reputation of Falun Dafa as well as of Teacher Li Hongzhi; 2. Revoke the arrest warrant for Teacher Li; 3. Reinstate the rights of free assembly for Falun Gong, lift bans concerning the publishing of Falun Dafa books, give people the rights to practice Falun Dafa.

Around 5:00PM in the afternoon, a policeman came to lead me to the police station. This man looked kind and amiable. On the way, I tried to talk to him about Dafa. Though he did not respond much, he showed his concern. Gradually, as we were talking and talking, he started to express his opinion about the negative side of current society. He said that the action of some policemen who scolded and beat Falun Dafa practitioners should not have been made. He also said that he respected those Falun Dafa practitioners who had come out to appeal to the government. I realized that Dafa had already entered peoples hearts and I also saw the kind side of human beings. At last, as he felt happy talking with me, he invited me to dinner. I was moved. This was his attitude towards Dafa, so maybe he was predestined with Dafa. I agreed to have dinner with him, but insisted paying the bill. By having dinner with him, I had more time to talk to him about Dafa. I related to him my familys experiences from practicing Dafa. After listening, he was more interested in learning Dafa, and expressed a desire to read the book Zhuan Falun.

Recalling the whole process of my appealing, it was a process of my cultivation. Each step was a test. Each threshold revealed attachments buried deep in my heart. "Stepping out," superficially is to spread Dafa and verify Dafa. In fact, it is through such a test that one further purifies the mind and upgrades xinxing. All that I did was due to the power of Dafa and Master Li's guidance, hints and encouragement. .

What I saw and heard during the journey to mainland China deepened my understanding of Master Li's Definitive Conclusion which reads: "When all living beings treasure Dafa, they are treasuring their own lives and being compassionate to all lives." Dafa is the origin of our lives. Cultivation is the fundamental. Dafa is most important while our cultivation is not worth mentioning. Without Dafa and without a suitable environment for cultivation, there is no place for our individual cultivation. A cultivator, in regards to Dafa, is just like a cell; can only exist and ascend within the entity. Protect the entity is protect each individual cell. At the time when Dafa is being recklessly treaded on, coming out to promote Dafa and validate Dafa is an unshakable duty for every disciple. It is also part of our cultivation. Under the current situation, it is most important to tell the people around the world, with a pure heart, about the truth. There are various ways to promote Dafa. Promoting Dafa outside Mainland China is even more important.

Master Li says in Cautionary Advice: "If every one of you can understand the Fa from the bottom of your heart, that will truly be the manifestation of the Fa whose power knows no boundarythe reappearance of the mighty Buddha Fa in the human world!"

July, 2000