Others’ Words and Deeds Mirror My Own

(Minghui.org) It’s my understanding that Master Li (Falun Dafa’s founder) has carefully arranged our cultivation for our improvement. It’s a pity that I didn’t always appreciate Master’s painstaking arrangements, and thus missed many opportunities to improve. As I continue to study the Fa, I have more of the Fa in my thoughts, Dafa cleanses me, and my human attachments and notions lessen. Now, I can look at the problems I face from the perspective of the Fa and I truly feel that Master has done everything to help me reach success in my cultivation. I would like to share some of my cultivation experiences here.

“Others are a mirror of oneself.” This is very easy to say, but in fact hard to embody. A recent incident made me deeply aware of it.

Last semester, my son participated in his high school choir, and this year he said he wanted to quit the choir and focus on his studies. I was fine with it. I thought that my son is getting older and I should respect his choice. I asked him if the school would allow him to withdraw. He said that several students in the choir had withdrawn and that it was okay. I respected his choice and said to him, “It’s up you.”

However, the seemingly simple issue became complicated. The choir teacher was very angry over my son’s withdrawal, said some unpleasant things to him, and even brought this up to the school’s art education office. They also restricted my son from going to evening study hall sessions.

My son was puzzled, “So many other members quit the choir; why is it that when I quit, it turns into so much trouble?”

I also felt that the choir teacher was a bit excessive and a little fussy, and complained about the teacher. I comforted my son, saying that the teacher was so busy with work that I doubted she would bring it up again. But the next day, the teacher from the art education office criticized my son. Seeing my son so upset, I was not happy.

I asked myself, “What attachment of mine is this incident try to help me get rid of?” I looked inward and thought that I needed to let go of my sentimentality for my son; my son was also paying off his karma when he was in pain. Maybe there was some karmic relationship between my son and the teacher, and this incident happened to pay off debts between them. I told myself that I couldn’t be moved and that I had to let go of my sentimentality for my son.

During the evening study hall sessions that proceeded, the teacher from the art education office also went to the piano room to see if my son was there. I thought to myself, “My son is not a professional performer. What’s the big deal if he quits?” For such a little thing, the teacher made such a fuss and I felt a little uncomfortable about the teacher.

One afternoon the following week, I made an appointment with somebody for my son, which is what I thought he wanted. But when I later told my son, he got very angry, said bad things about me, and complained that I didn’t ask for his input. I was also a little angry, since I thought this had been agreed on in advance. My son said that there was no such agreement. Later, I realized I was mistaken. I told him, “I didn’t do well this time. I will pay closer attention in the future, but the appointment has been made. You should go this time.” But my son refused, and he wouldn’t answer my phone calls.

I complained in my heart that my son was full of himself, wasn’t being sensible, and did not understand the difficulties we as his parents face. I was unhappy and thought, “If you are disobedient, I will restrict you from doing certain things. I will not allow you to go to your evening study hall in the future.” When he came back from self-study, he said that three teachers said he couldn’t go to the study hall anymore. The teachers’ behavior seemed excessive, and the two teachers who had been nice to him in the past were not friendly that day. When my son told me this, he was about to cry. How could this be? How could a little thing like this blow up?

I was also very distressed and didn’t know what to do. All I thought about was how all of this was the teachers’ fault. I suddenly realized that these thoughts were wrong, and I was being driven by my son’s emotions. I calmed down and looked inward, and then I had a realization: I thought that my son was self-centered, but isn’t this a reflection my own shortcoming? Wasn’t the unpleasant afternoon due to my failure to communicate with my son in advance? My son was ganged up on by three teachers; wasn’t this what I unintentionally asked for?

I complained about my son, and I had the bad idea of not letting him go to the study hall. This wrong thought led to three teachers targeting my son. What is the difference between my thoughts and how the teachers behaved? My son quit the choir, which was not in line with his teacher’s hopes and made the teacher angry, so the teacher retaliated and punished my son.

Looking back, I finally realized that this matter was Master’s painstaking arrangement to help me raise my xinxing. Through my son’s quitting choir and the teacher’s behavior, Master let me recognize that I was still harboring the culture of the Chinese Communist Party. When I thought about it more, I realized the teacher had also suffered a lot due to my attachment, and then I let go of my resentment for the teacher. I thanked the teacher in my mind. After I found the root of this matter, the teacher stopped berating my son.

When I got trapped in this painful situation and didn’t know what to do, I should have followed the Fa and looked within. If I could really achieve that, it could really be a turning point on the wonderful path of my cultivation!

I want to share this experience with fellow practitioners to show that Master is by our side watching over us. Our cultivation is carefully arranged so we can improve. Therefore, things that seem to happen to others or that seem to have nothing to do with us are actually related to our cultivation. I learned that I cannot discount what I see in my life, because others’ behavior mirrors ours, reflecting our own attachments. In the maze of the world, all the things we see through our eyes are falsehoods.

Let us truly change our notions, and treat everything, whether good or bad, as good things. I hope I can cherish Master’s painstaking arrangements to improve during the little time left in Fa-rectification, cultivate myself well, achieve Consummation, and return to my true home with Master!

This is my superficial understanding at my current level. Please correct me if there is room for improvement!

Thank you, Master! Heshi.