(Minghui.org) Greetings, Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
About three years ago, things were not going well for me. I couldn’t find a job, my family stopped sending me money, and when I opened a small business, it failed and I lost all the money. My health was not good, and I kept coughing and getting sick. If I stayed home the illness symptoms disappeared. It was so strange. I had an allergic reaction to a glue at work. I continued to do the three things and looked within, but the situation kept repeating itself and couldn’t be resolved. I felt Master was still by my side, but I could not find the fundamental reason why I couldn’t find a job to make a living, even the most ordinary job, such as working as a cashier at a supermarket. The worst thing was the mental torture of being such a failure among my successful and wealthy relatives and cousins.
I felt that my cultivation state must be stuck somewhere, so I was determined to memorize the Fa. But my mind was not ready to memorize Zhuan Falun, so I decided to study a shorter lecture: “The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be” in The Essentials of Diligent Progress III. In this teaching, I enlightened to only one point: I need to find and change my notions, because notions are the source of attachments.
Master said, “What’s more, Dafa disciples are cultivating in this “real” world that brims with temptation, so it becomes even more difficult—and even more important—to change those notions.” (“The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress III)
I only understood a very small point in the boundless meaning of this lecture, but Master gave me wisdom and enlightenment through family matters. I gradually recognized my own wrong notions about money, work, and love. I was shocked to realize that my notions made me mix up love, money, fame, and cultivation. It made everything extremely confusing and complicated.
I discovered I had the following wrong notions that deviated from the Fa: Giving material and surface care instead of love and true compassion.
Since I was little, my mother always used material things to show her affection for her children, but she was not around to teach them. I often blamed my parents for being cold and only giving me money and not caring for me like other parents. Even though I love my mother, I’m still bitter. She often had resentment when her siblings took advantage of her but she continued to support them financially. I started to look inward. I realized I also had that problem. I often used material things to please my friends, thinking that it was caring for those around me.
When I realized this, Master immediately gave me a test to help me improve. My childhood friend who lived in England, said she would visit me in Toronto. Since I was little, I was very sad and sometimes even resented this friend because she often took advantage of my kindness, took my belongings, and I always had to pay for her when we went out. Although we were very close, I realized that I never truly cared about her difficulties. I told myself that if I still owed her, I would be happy to pay her back this time when we met. As soon as I realized my own shortcomings, the test was removed. She texted me saying she was changing her schedule and wouldn’t come to Toronto. I texted her sincerely to ask about her life, I truly cared about her and wished her the best. Our relationship was resolved. I also have a better relationship with my mom.
Now I can understand my mom’s feelings. It is not about the money, but I never truly cared about her feelings. I never learned to really listen to people’s hardship and truly care. I only saw my own suffering. If my income became stable my mom would have peace of mind.
As a result of that righteous thought, Master helped me find a job as an interpreter. I accidentally clicked the Apply button and was called for an interview. I passed a few tests and was hired. I struggled for so long to find a good job, and even worked with a social worker to make my resume perfect and get recommendations from them, but I hadn’t received a single response. Now I accidentally found a job. I understood that this was Master’s compassionate arrangement after I eliminated my wrong notion.
When I finally had a job and everything seemed to improve, my husband told me that he had been gambling and borrowed a lot of money from friends to buy bitcoin. He owed a huge amount of money, had maxed out all our credit cards, and planned to commit suicide. He used the money my family sent him to pay off the business debt last time, to pay bitcoin and lost it all. The previous debt added up to many other debts. He said he thought about dying because he couldn’t face me anymore. This situation had gone on for many years, but recently he called the suicide hotline for help and his best friend advised him to tell me the truth.
When I first heard this, I calmly told him it was just money, and that there would be a way. But the more I thought about it, the more betrayed and sad I felt because he repeatedly lied to me. I felt that I would lose face if I asked my parents for money again. To me, lying is a huge betrayal. I have many Taoist characteristics, and always focus on Truth, so being deceived like that was heart-wrenching for me. I wondered why I had to suffer like this. It seemed like after I moved to Canada, I continuously lost money. I’ve been deceived, failed in business, and had increasing financial difficulties. Now that there was another huge debt, I wondered if I had to live like this from now on. I calculated the debt I needed to pay with my meager salary, and felt even sadder.
When I was a child I was comfortable financially. When I grew up, even though I didn’t have great ambitions, my life was free of financial worries. I was concerned about my reputation and losing face with my family. Having to be in such debt was really hard to accept, let alone that it never seemed to end.
I closed the door to my room and read the Fa. I wept as I read for three days. I suddenly realized that this happened many times and each time it got worse. The debt kept getting bigger, and I was also constantly persecuted financially to the point that I had no money left. I realized that I had always used ordinary people’s methods to solve things, and that all the previous times I had been a good person among ordinary people. This time I needed to act according to the Fa.
After calming down, I was determined not to use ordinary people’s methods to solve the problem anymore. I did not call home to ask my family for money, nor did I calculate how much of my salary I had to contribute each month to pay off my husband’s debt. Instead I focused on letting go of resentment and jealousy towards my family’s comfortable life. When I was in the Fa, my compassion grew. I became less selfish and more considerate of my mother’s feelings. I saw how much my parents must have suffered and worried when they had to send money to their grown daughter so often.
During those three days, I studied the Fa and had many clear understandings about what I should do. I needed to negate the old forces’ arrangements. Whoever owed the karmic debts must repay them themselves. I am a Falun Dafa practitioner, and this life is for saving people and cultivating, not for coming to this human world to spend most of my time working to pay debts. I sincerely told my husband that I could no longer call home to ask my family for money. I could only be by his side. I told him: I would stay with him, and be a righteous wife. I would not let him be hungry or cold. However, he needed to pay this huge debt that he created, by using his salary to gradually pay it off.
My husband thanked me. He said that he felt relieved when he spoke up and that he was lucky that I always understood him and did not leave him. He did not want to speak up so that I could help him pay off his debt. At that time, my mind was very calm because I understood clearly that earning money to pay off my husband’s debt could not solve the root cause and I had to rely on the Fa. I also told him many things and advised him to listen to Master’s lectures.
When we rely on the Fa to act, things change quickly and unexpectedly. Because this time I no longer secretly paid his gambling debts and I improved my cultivation, my husband’s gambling problem finally surfaced to be solved. He went to see a specialist for help. They advised him to tell the truth. My husband told his two sisters and they helped him pay off a big part of the debt. After they found out that I had paid off a huge amount of debt before, they had a very different opinion of me. A few years ago when my husband took the money to buy bitcoin, he often got angry, swearing constantly and often yelling at me in public, and yet I still respected him and his parents without saying a word. I think I have proven to my husband’s sisters how good a Dafa practitioner is.
After this event, my husband and his sisters mended their relationship. My husband often said that his sisters were selfish. This time, without thinking about it, they spent a lot of money to help him, and he loved them even more.
After only three days of acting based on my understanding of the Dafa principles, things turned around very quickly. The large debt was resolved, my husband decided to quit gambling and personally paid off his debts every month. He no longer cursed and yelled at me. He went to see a counselor 2 times a week. He no longer cursed while driving and was happier. I often used small things to talk to my husband about karma, gain and loss, and the relationship between virtue and karma accumulated over many lifetimes. He quietly listened. I hoped that I would gradually be able to change my husband’s atheistic thinking.
Thinking back, I see that many of the human attachments I harbored led to my husband’s behavior. I really didn’t know how to care for and or love someone. I only knew how to use material things and gifts to show my love. This was reflected in all aspects of how I treated my husband, fellow practitioners, and friends. If we use material things to care for someone or suffer a little loss in money, we cannot resolve our many lifetimes of karmic debts and cannot escape the level of ordinary people. On the contrary, they felt that I was cold-hearted. I realized that this coldness and heartlessness were not in accordance with Dafa’s principles. True love and compassion should be warm, forgiving and harmonious.
I thought that I wasn’t attached to fame and fortune, but going forward I will be more humble when looking at things.
I used to hate wealth and getting rich. When I was young I had the notion that success in business ruined my family’s happiness. Having a lot of money made my father neglect the family and my mother always went to work to earn money and neglected me. After I began practicing Falun Dafa, I thought that wealthy practitioners indulged themselves too much which made their human nature stronger.
So when I was scammed or barely had any money, I thought this was good. Not having much money allowed me to cultivate away my shopping addiction, give up material things, and live a simpler life. When I saw my family always having fun and enjoying life, I thought that material things made them even more deluded. Because of my notion that not having too much money was good for improving my xinxing, the old forces firmly held onto this notion and repeatedly created problems and made it worse and worse. My pursuit of a peaceful life in this human world is why the old forces forced all the problems on me. I was busy solving my ordinary person’s issues, instead of spending time saving people.
Through the process of looking inward and memorizing the Fa, I was able to improve my cultivation and correct my thoughts thoroughly. I no longer acted like a good person on the surface. I was able to rectify my notions about money and finances according to Dafa. I was able to break free from the bondage of money and material things, so the old forces no longer had an excuse to persecute me financially.
Very quickly after that, my finances seemed to be back on track. Before I needed the money, it was already there, not too much, not too little, miraculously enough to live on, go to school, and do Dafa projects. My husband was given a promotion and miraculously received two raises in the same year. He was able to pay off his gambling debts on his own.
Over the past year, my mind has gradually become more peaceful, and I no longer worry about money. I have completed my hairdressing certificate and found a good job. When I was in school, Master gave me the wisdom to learn very quickly. I did not hide what I learned from my friends, but shared everything with them. Although the environment is complex and difficult, most people in school knew that I practiced Falun Dafa and said that I was really kind and had a good heart. Some people understood how evil communism is, some went to see Shen Yun and my teacher quit the Chinese Communist Party. I also let go of my resentment towards my parents, and our relationship improved greatly.
In terms of work, I have been going from one extreme to another for many years. I started off hating society and just wanted to do a simple lowly job to earn a few dollars, go up to the mountain to live alone. It is all because of my fear of fame and being poisoned by ordinary society. Then I changed to striving for success, and thought that success in society means validating Dafa. In fact, I was chasing fame.
This year, I began memorizing what Master said about cultivating among everyday people because this is for the main spirit to truly obtain gong, which is the part in “Whoever Practices Cultivation Will Obtain Gong” in Lecture Eight of Zhuan Falun. I understand more clearly that going to school and working in society is the best environment for me to improve and validate the Fa. This time, I am determined to find a job.
As soon as I have an understanding from Dafa, a test comes right away. After finishing a year of trade college, many times teachers praised my talent and advised me to start my own business, and one teacher even showed me how to do it without an internship and get a license earlier. She also told me not to work for a luxury store because those places would exploit me. I told her that I would not do anything dishonest to get a license.
Since I was very young, my family has been in business, and I also opened small shops selling shoes and cosmetics. I was always free from the corporate 9 to 5 work week and their restricted rules. Working for someone else never lasted long for me. When the teacher told me that I could be my own boss and not have to follow anyone’s orders, I was really excited. The xinxing test this time offered tempting things like taking shortcuts, making a lot of money, being my own boss, everything going my way... exactly what I had been pursuing.
But this time, without thinking, I looked for a job as an apprentice to overcome the fear of finding a job. Every time I applied to a hair salon, I wanted to go online to see what the salon was like. I was afraid that a high-end salon would not let me do my hair, and a place that was too bad would waste my talent. The feeling of inferiority, the fear that I would not have time to cultivate while working full-time, all surfaced so I could cultivate them away. This time, I studied the Fa well, so I was able to quickly correct my thoughts: just letting things happen naturally, without any pursuit. If I need to do something or save someone, Master will arrange it. I no longer look at online reviews and submit applications according to my entry level.
In less than two months, I quickly found a job. The workplace was close to home and easy to get to. My boss and mentor were truly kind and good-natured. Both the seniors and mentors taught me the trade and supported me. This was a luxurious place and used the most expensive products. However, my mentor did not ask me to do much cleaning, I helped out a little and stood behind to watch him cut hair for customers. I was paid and also learned the trade, my boss did most of the hard work and I stood next to him and learned.
So I passed the test. I was not picky but followed a very righteous path according to the Fa principles that I understood. Last month, I told myself that if I found a job, I would finish writing this article. Master said, “Good or evil comes from that instant thought.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun) Our human thoughts and attachments come from our notions that accompanied us over many lifetimes. It is like another thin layer of our skin. But with Dafa, nothing is impossible.
During these 7 years of ups and downs, Master has always been by my side. He has taken care of me so that I never run out of money. I never had to cancel my subscription to The Epoch Times. Master patiently waited for me to improve, taught me small lessons and then gave me a big test when I was ready. With his guidance, I can break free from my human notion.
One enlightenment that I got from reciting Master’s lectures changed my life. Without Dafa, can I bear these hardships without bitterness and hatred, can my husband tolerate his own guilt, can our family still be together? By reciting the Fa, I can find the root cause and eliminate my human notions, then the attachments are all just loose ends to be cut. My relationships with everyone gets better as I use my genuine heart and compassion with them. With Dafa, I have not only overcome hardships and persecution by the old forces, but also cultivated even bigger compassion. My field is full of warm compassion and it is a heavenly state in this human world.
Thank you Master for your immense compassion.
Heshi
(Selected Sharing Article Presented at the 2025 Canada Fa Conference)