(Minghui.org) I took up Falun Dafa cultivation in March 2021. Through continuous and extensive Fa study, I came to understand that Dafa is to save people, truly enabling one to return to one’s original, true self. From the bottom of my heart, I desire to cultivate myself well and walk steadfastly on the path of cultivation.
Recently, I heard a good sharing from a fellow practitioner about paying meticulous attention to aligning every thought with the Fa during promotion of Shen Yun. In comparison, I realized how far I fell short. I asked myself if I had truly cultivated and what genuine cultivation should be like. The answer that came to mind was, “I must not behave like an ordinary person.” In daily life, my initial reactions to any event are still based on my acquired human notions and I was unable to act strictly according to the Fa.
A few days ago, my two children had an argument over a minor matter. My son Jun, (10 years old), misunderstood my daughter Jing, (8 years old), when he thought she deliberately didn’t help him when he asked her to. Even after his sister explained that she didn’t hear him, Jun continued to blame her and Jing became angry. As a result, my daughter then also refused to do anything I asked of her. I waited for a bit, hoping she would calm down. However, she began to throw things and rolled her eyes. My temper flared after seeing that Jing was out of control, and I wanted to discipline her.
I clenched my fist and gave Jing a sharp tap on the back. Instantly, she struck my arm hard with her little fist, which did hurt me. So I grabbed both wrists with one hand and struck her back twice with my other fist, while sternly declaring, “I am your mother. I hit you because you did not obey me. You must not strike back.” However, my daughter then proceeded to kick me. After I released Jing’s hands, she moved a bit away from me but still didn’t calm down. She continued throwing things, rolling her eyes dramatically and muttering. I left the scene to cool down.
I began to silently recite Master’s teachings:
“Some people will lose their temper in disciplining children and yell at them, making quite a scene. You should not be that way in disciplining children, and neither should you, yourselves get really upset. You should educate children with reason so that you can really teach them well. If you cannot even get over a trifle and lose your temper easily, how can you expect to increase your gong?” (Lecture 9, Zhuan Falun)
I realized I had lost my temper and failed to cultivate forbearance. I was wrong. When I was pondering how to rationally educate my children, the word “duty” came to mind.
Later, I spoke to my daughter calmly: “From the day you were born, you became my daughter and your brother’s sister. It is your duty to respect Mom and your brother. So you cannot speak rudely to us just because you’re in a bad mood. As a student, it is your duty to study, including learning to play piano. You can’t bang on the piano, or toss your piano books around, or slam the table because you’re upset. You need to take care of these things, which are significant in another dimension. Since you failed to fulfill your duty, Mom is going to punish you: First, you must practice the piano diligently; Second, I won’t wash your undergarments for you today and you have to do it yourself.”
My daughter said nothing afterward. Nonetheless, she sat down at the piano bench and practiced for quite a while. I could tell Jing was playing each note with care and calmness. After practicing, she washed all her undergarments, spending a long time on it. I was surprised that she was so obedient and did what was required. My daughter’s behavior helped me to elevate my character, especially by improving my patience and kindness. I should thank Jing for this opportunity.
The Minghui sharing article also led me to recognize that I harbored many negative thoughts, which formed as a result of acquired human notions. I wasn’t clearly aware that they were not from my true self, instead, they controlled me. I had many negative thoughts about my daughter: she was rebellious and difficult to direct, disrespectful, impatient and demonstrated out of control behaviors when unhappy. I should discipline Jing. However, I understand now that only by following the Fa, can I properly guide my child and achieve positive results. Correcting my own thoughts and actions is the key. I must be strict with myself and conduct myself effectively, but kindly.
Some of my attachments are still lingering on in me: especially blaming others, jealousy and resentment. So my daughter also frequently didn’t behave. I realized we both needed to improve. Because her life is also for obtaining the Fa, cultivating well myself will help lay a solid foundation for her future to choose the path of cultivation.
I have been reading Zhuan Falun with my children and we are at Lecture Seven now. I also let them use my phone to read Minghui sharing articles. When I listened to Minghui radio, Jing was sometimes drawn to stories of Dafa disciples’ righteous thoughts and actions and quietly listened to some. I truly hope that in the future, when my daughter and I get angry, we can immediately recall Master’s teachings to correct ourselves. I must follow the Fa myself, cultivate sincerely, and only then can I guide young Dafa practitioners well.
Yesterday, Jing remarked, “Mom has become gentler. Although she still scolds us, it’s different from before.” I replied, “Really? Then that means Mom is cultivating herself.” I will continue striving to cultivate diligently.
Please kindly point out anything not inline with the Fa.