Difficulties Pointed Out My Cultivation Gaps

(Minghui.org) Greetings, Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!

I have been on the journey to assist Master with Fa-rectification along with practitioners in Boston for about ten years.

Turning a Bad Situation Into a Good One

I experienced sickness karma throughout the summer of 2019. When I wasn’t entirely over it, I had severe conflicts at work, one after another, that ultimately led to my departure from that job. Numerous tribulations arose in a short period of time, which made me realize my cultivation state needed to improve. In the Fall of 2019, my situation not only hadn’t improved but also became more complicated. On top of that, I had to deal with some big life changes. Suddenly, the stress of work, life, and physical pain all seemed to come at me, and I felt burned out.

Facing tribulations in a burned-out state was not the most agonizing thing. Knowing that my cultivation state was off, I had difficulty finding time to read the Fa by myself. The best I could do was to listen to Master’s Fa recordings while driving to work and join the weekly group meetings.

Something happened unexpectedly one evening. It was snowing as I was carefully driving home. I hit the brakes to stop for a red light much earlier than I would normally have, but my car kept moving. I hit the car right in front of me that was already stopped. Fortunately, the driver did not feel any pain or discomfort, and her car had no obvious signs of damage from the impact. I could tell she was frightened. We exchanged contact information and I told the driver I would cover the cost of damage if any was found in the following days.

In the past, whenever I encountered major xinxing tests, as long as I read the Fa and looked inward, I could clearly feel that Master was guiding me. For example, I would encounter paragraphs pointing out my attachments, or some words in Master’s lectures that stood out. However, that wasn’t the case this time. Even though I had one test after another since the summer of 2019, I couldn’t determine the nature of my fundamental attachment. This accident hit me really hard because it meant that there was a gap in my cultivation, and most likely the gap was not small. For the first time, I felt confused from a cultivation standpoint and had no idea what Master was trying to test me on.

Practitioners in Boston were getting ready to sell Shen Yun tickets in the shopping malls. A New York practitioner came to Boston to give us sales training. On the way to the meeting, I happened to share a ride with her. She started talking about the importance of believing in Master and the Fa and cited a biblical story of Jehovah and Satan’s wager over Job. In the story, Job was a devout believer in Jehovah. Satan decided to test Job on his faith. He suddenly lost his fortune, loved ones, and his health. He did not give up his faith in Jehovah, passed the test, and everything came back to him. Another practitioner in the car, who knew of my recent tribulations, said that I should have faith in Master and the Fa. At the time, I didn’t think I had any doubts about Master or the Fa, so I ignored what he said.

We all know that nothing happens by chance on the path of cultivation. Because that practitioner shared a story relating to having complete faith in Master and the Fa, I realized that it was not a coincidence. I started to reflect on the tribulations I was going through. In that story of Job, Jehovah and Satan tested Job by taking away his blessings. Master bestowed many blessings on me. For example I rarely experienced any illness, I grew up in a family of practitioners, I was able to come to the U.S. to study and work, and I was involved in Dafa projects. I also had a highway car accident with zero injuries. These were just the blessings that I could perceive at the everyday person’s level.

The fact that I felt confused about cultivation was exactly a manifestation of my doubts in Master and the Fa! Since everything I had was bestowed upon me by Master, and Master arranged my life, what could I possibly be confused about? The hardships and tribulations I was experiencing had no material impact on my cultivation, as I could still cultivate, look inward, improve my xinxing, and continue to validate the Fa and clarify the truth, so why should I be bothered by these superficial problems of everyday people? I also realized that because I slacked off with Fa study, I had not been proactive with my cultivation. Instead, I was passively enduring tribulations.

Master said,

“If Dafa disciples can do things righteously, and provided they don’t have strong attachments or things they are attached to on a fundamental level, then there won’t be any problems. Some say that while studying the Fa they encounter such-and-such things. This is something I often say: Once you take up Dafa, whatever it is you encounter—good or bad—is a good thing (applause), for it came about only because you cultivate in Dafa. Some students experience all sorts of hardships after taking up Dafa. If you didn’t cultivate, those tribulations would lead to your destruction. But precisely because you do cultivate in Dafa, even though the pressure you face is great when the hardships come at you earlier than they would have, and the tests of your xinxing are tough to pass—and sometimes the tests may be huge—when all is said and done, those hardships are all things you need to overcome, they are accounts you need to settle, tabs that you need to pay. (Audience laughs) Aren’t they great things, then? So whether it is good things or bad things you run into, so long as you cultivate in Dafa, they are all positive, to be sure.” (Teachings at the 2005 Conference in San Francisco)

Once I understood the Fa principle, the problems became much easier to deal with. The fact that the car accident happened meant that the driver and I had a predestined relationship. I thought that regardless of whether the predestined relationship was good or bad, why not take that opportunity to invite her to see Shen Yun? When the lady informed me that her car had some scratches that needed to be repaired, I decided to pay her a visit. That way, I could give her a check for the repair costs and introduce Shen Yun to her face-to-face. So I went to her home and met both her and her husband. I told them I was a volunteer with the local sponsor of Shen Yun in Boston and would like to invite their family to see Shen Yun in Boston to show my appreciation for their kindness.

She was very interested and told me she noticed the billboards but never had the chance to see Shen Yun. I purchased four tickets for her family to Shen Yun’s 2020 performance in Boston. Although the shows were canceled in 2020 (due to the COVID pandemic), when I reached out to her last year, she was still very interested in seeing Shen Yun. Afterwards, she sent me a thank you email, letting me know that her family enjoyed the show very much and it was an unforgettable experience. The moment I saw her email, I understood even more what it meant to turn a bad situation into a good one. I knew that this was a result of Master’s arrangements. On one hand, sending predestined people to the theater could manifest in various ways, and on the other, my historical karmic relationship was given a benevolent resolution.

I Experienced Master’s Perfect Arrangements

I helped sell merchandise at the Shen Yun Shop in Boston for many years. During the pandemic, I had the privilege of participating in the on-site sales of merchandise in the New England area again, but because I was not thinking from the perspective of a cultivator, I decided to withdraw during the next season. Before I had the chance to resign, the local merchandise coordinator called me and asked me to take on the coordinator role. She had to take on additional coordination responsibilities and thus could not coordinate the merchandise side of things during the Shen Yun performances throughout New England. I told her I needed time to think about it and did not give her a definite answer.

I had zero desire to be a coordinator. I had countless reasons why I would not be a good fit. First, I felt that the coordinator role was a challenging position. Second, I was no longer passionate about the project. Third, many practitioners in Boston could take on this role, so it wouldn’t be a big deal if I turned it down. Fourth, the primary responsibility of a coordinator role was communicating and collaborating with other practitioners. I am naturally introverted and thus being a coordinator would be entirely out of my comfort zone. Fifth, the Shen Yun Shop project is like running a retail business. Many processes and steps in this project seemed like chores to me and were annoying. My list of objections to taking on the coordinator role went on and on. In addition, storage would be challenging.

After thinking it over, I realized that behind every reason for not wanting to take on the coordinator role were my attachments. Not having passion for the project showed that I had slacked off in my cultivation. I forgot that the purpose of the project was to save people. My unwillingness to step out of my comfort zone showed I had an attachment to comfort. I also had an attachment to fearing trouble. Knowing that my being offered the coordinator role was an opportunity given by Master to eliminate these attachments, I couldn’t turn it down. However, due to my inadequate cultivation state at the time, while I verbally agreed, I was not fully on board in my heart, so I sent a communication to the local Dafa Association coordinators, stressing that my agreement was temporary and that they should continue their search for a candidate to take on the role.

Since the place where merchandise items were stored was no longer available, the first order of business was to find a storage room. Luckily, another practitioner offered a helping hand, so we were all set with the storage problem for the time being. However, the Shen Yun Shop coordinator contacted me and told me they designed a special catalog for their newly released premium product line and it would be helpful if we could offer the catalogs to customers on-site. I couldn’t think of any place where we could store these extra boxes of catalogs and I tried to communicate and negotiate with the overall Shen Yun Shop coordinator. Then I realized she was in a difficult position too, so I decided to try my best to handle it. Fortunately, a practitioner in Boston agreed to help and the boxes of catalogs found a temporary home.

The day before the Shen Yun performance in Boston, I saw about twenty boxes in the lobby of my apartment. I never saw so many boxes in the lobby before, so out of curiosity, I checked the shipping label. It turned out they were all addressed to me. The sender was the Shen Yun Shop. I immediately had a headache. After speaking with the coordinator, I was sure this was a mistake.

I realized that on the surface it seemed like an oversight, but actually it was an opportunity to let go of my fear of trouble and annoyance. Helped by other practitioners, I turned the situation around quickly.

Not long after the Shen Yun shows were over in Boston, the Shen Yun Shop’s coordinator reached out to me again and apologized for mistakenly sending a second shipment of catalogs. The moment I saw her message, I couldn’t believe my eyes. What were the chances of shipping the catalogs twice!

In order for the xinxing test to be effective, the more I worried about the storage problem, the more difficult the situation became. Experiencing Master's perfect arrangements, I kept reminding myself to be kind to fellow practitioners, to maintain my xinxing, and to increase my tolerance level.

Learning to Remove My Human Notions

While coordinating the sales of merchandise items, I made a decision that could be difficult for a team member to handle. I communicated my decision to her, hoping that she would understand and overcome it. However, she was immediately upset, accusing me of not caring about her feelings. She later told me that she wouldn’t be able to join the sales team in the next city. I faced a dilemma, but after studying the Fa, I decided to respect her decision. While her decision could result in a staffing shortage, I didn’t feel resentful or blame her for the short notice.

To my surprise, before the next show, she reached out to me and expressed her willingness to participate in the merchandise sales. I felt happy for her from the bottom of my heart as she overcame the challenge. I also realized that when facing conflicts, Master takes care of things in his way, and all I need to do is maintain my xinxing and not be bothered by the unexpected changes.

Although the dust settled on this matter, and the practitioner explained at the group study why she had a change of heart and how she came to realize that it was a xinxing test for her, I still believed my initial decision was the right one. I later had a series of conflicts with the same practitioner, which led me to realize that I had not looked inward on this particular issue, because I was still trying to convince myself I did nothing wrong.

I thought, “What was my standard of right and wrong? Was my standard based on the Fa, or was my standard simply a human notion?” I suddenly realized that the reasoning behind my initial decision was based on my human notions. My notion was that project needs should come before team members’ needs. I internalized this for so long that I never gave it a second thought. For this reason, when a conflict of interest arose and a decision needed to be made between the team’s needs and what the team member needed, I prioritized the team’s needs and expected the team member to give up her personal interests. As a result, that practitioner felt I was being inconsiderate of her feelings.

In retrospect, I realized that what transpired was not by chance and Master arranged all the conflicts to improve my xinxing. Without these xinxing tests, I would not have been able to detect the human notions that I had been internalizing.

There were many stories like these in the few months of coordinating the local merchandise team. Behind every story was a cultivation opportunity carefully arranged by Master. I also learned that I must pay close attention to my cultivation state as a coordinator. When fellow practitioners supported me, it showed that they were in a good cultivation state, not that I was being a good coordinator. When fellow practitioners were not supportive, it meant that I needed to improve.

When my cultivation state was solid, the solution to a problem naturally presented itself. At times when a problem could not be solved right away, it was either an opportunity for me to endure and grow or a sign that I was blocked by human notions and attachments, making me lose sight of the solution. I also realized that only by continuously looking inward and continuously upgrading xinxing could I walk the cultivation path arranged by Master with a firm will.

The Fa-rectification has reached the very end and I am grateful for the cultivation opportunities that Master offered me. I will be diligent, complete my cultivation path, and save more sentient beings alongside my fellow practitioners in Boston.

(Presented in the 2023 New England Falun Dafa Experience Sharing Conference)