(Minghui.org) I have benefited greatly since I began practicing Falun Dafa. My health improved and my family became harmonious. I was diligent at work and no longer picky or competitive. I’m able to think about others before myself in everything I do. My relationship with my relatives and friends changed for the better. My children’s studies and work also changed for the better. Subconsciously I formed a notion: Since I practice Falun Dafa, everything should be good and go smoothly.
This notion caused me to emphasize the benefits that cultivation brings practitioners. I even encouraged my relatives and friends to cultivate so that they would benefit. This was my big misunderstanding about practicing Falun Dafa. It resulted in my stepping off the right track in my cultivation.
I did not do well in cultivation tests and I became depressed. When I saw that other practitioners could not overcome their illness tribulations, could not let go of their attachments, were not successful in their work, and encountered all sorts of difficult situations, I thought: He is a Falun Dafa practitioner, why is this happening? Why is that happening? Is he cultivating?
A few days ago I heard a practitioner who is going through an illness tribulation say that she went to the store to buy potatoes. After picking a bag of potatoes, she saw the employee carry over another bag of potatoes to replenish the supply. So she put back the potatoes that she picked and chose from the new batch. After returning home, she realized that what she had done was wrong and she should not do that. She explained that in the past, she wouldn’t have thought that what she did was wrong. She said that she finally understood what it meant to cultivate after she increased the length of time she read the Fa.
Hearing this I thought: A practitioner can’t even do such a small thing properly? I only realized that having such a thought is wrong as I had some negative opinions about that practitioner.
I caught hold of this feeling and asked myself, “Why did I feel unbalanced? It is jealousy, looking down on others, measuring others with the Fa, feeling that I cultivate quite well……” Just then, I heard a fellow practitioner’s cultivation experience sharing article on the Minghui Radio, saying that a practitioner who went through serious illness tribulation had been memorizing the Fa for a year but his condition didn’t improve. But he was able to maintain a diligent cultivation state. This moved me a lot. It helped me identify the stubborn notion that was hiding behind my attachments: Since I have cultivated, everything should be going well.
That is the result of assimilating to the Fa, it is how a cultivator follows Master’s Fa to overcome tribulations and tests and finally gain a high level of understanding. Different people have different tests and tribulations that they need to go through. Therefore, all sorts of scenarios will happen. As long as we can maintain a state of diligent cultivation and can remember that we are cultivators during tribulations everything will be good. When we let go of our attachments and assimilate to the Fa, the Fa will display that level to us.
Today, I chose a watermelon at the entrance of a small market and brought it inside to pay for it. As the clerk weighed it I noticed better watermelons on the shelf and I wanted to buy one of them. After weighing the watermelon and getting it priced, I saw that my watermelon had a very deep depression caused by someone pressing on it. I said, “Why is the watermelon like that?” The clerk offered to sell it to me at a discount. I said that I did not want this one and I wanted to buy one on the shelf instead.
After I paid and walked out, I felt uneasy. For a period of time, I was almost able to attain the state of not picking whenever I bought things. Why was I not able to do it today? Recalling the thought I had when I was buying the watermelon just now, I just wanted to buy the better one. Wasn’t I afraid that I would lose out? How was I different from the practitioner who re-picked the potatoes? The attachment of selfishness is the same.
From this incident I understood that cultivation is a serious matter. My xinxing is still lacking and I did not assimilate to that level of Fa. This means that I did not eliminate this attachment! I did not look within myself. I even felt that the other practitioner’s situation had nothing to do with me!
I felt upset. Why do I keep forgetting to look within when I look at others? If I did not have such attachments, would Master have let me hear and see such matters? I apologized to Master. I forgot about Master’s teachings and caused Master to worry and he had to enlighten me again.
Maybe because I found the attachment this time, when I sent forth righteous thoughts that night, I felt quite light. I also deeply experienced that it is impossible to feel that I cultivate better than others. That just goes to say that my cultivation is not good! When I heard about the other practitioner talk about choosing potatoes, I should have examined myself to see if I have the attachment to personal gains and losses. If I did, I should get rid of it quickly.
I would also like to express my happiness for that practitioner’s improvement in cultivation. I believe that she will do better and better as Master is watching over her. In the future, if I hear anything or see anything, I must first conscientiously look within and eliminate my attachments. I must try my best to become a practitioner who cultivates with discipline and not let Master worry so much for me!
This is just my recent cultivation insight. I hope that practitioners can let me know if there is any room for improvement.
Thank you Master! Thank you fellow practitioners!