(Minghui.org) I started to cultivate Falun Dafa in 2012. My illness disappeared after I practiced Falun Dafa, however, my xinxing level was stuck. I did not improve my xinxing and experienced illness karma again. Now my problem was that I was not having bowel movements. I was eating, but not eliminating. Where was the problem, I wondered. I became thinner and ate less. Finally, I could not eat anything at all. My stomach felt full. I studied the Fa, recited the Fa, and sent righteous thoughts diligently, but my condition did not change.

My husband (also a practitioner) asked me if I needed to go to the hospital. I said no, and I told him that I was a practitioner, a doctor cannot heal my illness. But my heart was not steady, and I was not sure how long I could hold out. When I was worried, I recited the Fa.

I continued to worry. I then tried to repel and negate the worry. I knew they were not my thoughts. It was the evil. People in my village heard about my situation. They had different opinions. Some said, “How can you avoid going to the hospital when you are sick?” Two others (one believes in Buddha and one believes in the Dao) said: “Cultivation belongs to cultivation solely. When you are sick, you should go to the hospital.” My brother and sisters all came to see me and tried to persuade me to go to the hospital. My decision was firm, I only believe Master Li (Dafa’s founder) and Falun Dafa. I knew this was not an illness but a level I needed to pass through. My husband also sent righteous thoughts, saying: “We have Master. Do not be afraid and do not have negative thoughts.”

I kept sending righteous thoughts. I told myself that I am a Falun Dafa practitioner. I am not supposed to have an illness. It is karma and persecution imposed by the old forces. I repel such persecution. I only follow Master’s arrangement. I deny everything else. Even though I have attachments, I will correct myself by cultivating Dafa. I deny the old forces’ persecution. I came here to assist Master in validating the Fa and awaken sentient beings. Please Master help me and strengthen my righteous thoughts.

I kept denying the negative factors, reciting the Fa, and sending righteous thoughts. I felt better. But not long after, my attachment of fear appeared again. I negated it, recited the Fa, and sent righteous thoughts again. I felt that I would pass away if I relaxed even a little bit. It was time to release the attachment to life and death.

I asked for Master’s support and I apologized to Master for my loopholes. I had such a big issue and I was so sorry to Master and my sentient beings. Death does not scare me, however, if I were to pass away I would bring shame to Dafa, I am supposed to save people. What about my husband? He would be under more pressure from society and family. There would be huge interference to clarify the truth. I asked Master for another chance.

My mind was full of righteous thoughts. I did not think about my bowels or other everyday people’s thoughts. My gums began to bleed, so I rinsed my mouth with water. After three days, I could have congee. I didn’t think about anything else except reciting the Fa. Other practitioners came to visit me and were worried. I shared the passwords of my savings accounts with my husband. No matter what, I just recited the Fa and kept sending righteous thoughts.

I felt that my righteous thoughts became steady four days later. I had no attachment to life or death. I was not attached to anything in the world. Master helped me eliminate bad material.

My husband said: “You can go out to clarify the truth!” I agreed that I should do so. I did not have a bowel movement for one month. I ate a small amount of food every day and was weak, but I still went out to distribute truth-clarification materials. I rode an electric bike and had no attachment to life or death at all.

I saw a farmer in the field. I went over to him and told him that I came to bring him blessings. I said: “Nowadays, disasters are everywhere. I hope you can make it through such a difficult time period. Do you know about Falun Dafa?” He said that he did. I told him Falun Dafa has been persecuted. The TV slandered Falun Dafa, especially, the Tiananmen self-immolation hoax which was meant to mislead people about Falun Dafa.

I then said: “Falun Dafa’s principles are Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. It improves people’s morals and health. Whoever persecutes Falun Dafa and harms innocent people must receive retribution. Jiang Zemin (former CCP head) persecutes Falun Dafa and deserves retribution. The Chinese Communist Party (CCP) persecutes Falun Dafa and will also receive retribution. If you are one of its members, you will be implicated. If you withdraw from them, you will not be involved.”

I asked him if he joined the CCP’s organizations. He said he joined the Young Pioneers. I told him that he should quit it from his heart. As long as he quits, he will be saved and escape disasters. I then gave him a truth-clarification booklet. I told him if he reads the booklet, he will be rewarded. I asked him to remember “Falun Dafa is good! Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is great!” This can save your life.

I clarified the truth to seven people and helped six people withdraw from the CCP and its affiliated organizations. I did not feel exhausted when I got home. I knew it must be Master’s support.

I went to group Fa study the next day. When I returned home, my stomach was full of gas. I realized this was a reminder that I had resentment. But to whom? My husband worked hard every day and did all the household chores. There was no reason to complain about him. All of sudden, I remembered that I hated my ex-husband who I had divorced many years ago. I changed my notion immediately. He and I had a predestined relationship. I had attachments and was not nice to him. I hurt him and did not consider him first. I apologized to him in my heart. As I looked within, I felt movement in my bowels. I teared up after having finally passed this test. I had gone without a bowel movement for 37 days.

Throughout this experience, I firmly believed in Dafa. As long as I believe in Dafa and Master, nothing can stop me. I can’t imagine how much bad karma Master took for me. I really appreciate Master’s help! I did not know how to clarify the truth and I had the attachment of fear. I had little compassion. Now, I know how to clarify the truth to people. My fear of attachment has been much reduced. I can stand in other people's shoes and consider them first. Sometimes, people who had heard the truth say thank you to me. I say, “Please thank my Master. My Master saved you. I only delivered the message.”

I grew up in a village with little education. The above is my true experience. If there is anything that is not proper, please kindly point it out to me.