(Minghui.org) Since I began practicing Falun Dafa in 1998, I have been bathed in Dafa’s grace like millions of other Falun Dafa disciples. By following the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, I always strive to be a moral and selfless person in my family as well as in society.
As time went on, my family also began to change, especially my mother-in-law.
I married my husband when I was 22. We lived at our own place and only visited my in-laws on holidays. After my child was born, we saw my mother-in-law much more often because we had to drop off the baby at her home so she could babysit while we worked. Over time I saw that my mother-in-law was in charge of the family, above everyone, even her husband.
My mother-in-law was bossy, unreasonable, and unforgiving. As we spent more time together, I disliked her more and more. My resentment for her grew and grew. Here is something that happened six months after I was married. My husband and I left a spare key to our apartment at my mother-in-law’s for emergencies. About 5 a.m. one morning, she used the key, let herself in, and sat on the sofa while we were still sleeping. My husband and I were shocked to see her when we got up.
When my husband asked her why she was there, she replied, “Do I need a reason?”
My husband was a bit upset but did not dare to provoke her.
“I paid for this apartment, so of course I can come and go as I like. There is no need to inform you,” she continued.
I was about to say something, but my husband nudged my arm to be quiet. I knew from then on that it would be very difficult to get along with her.
On August 21, 1998, I was lucky to hear about Falun Dafa and began to practice it. Master taught me to be a good person. I made up my mind to cultivate diligently and be a genuine practitioner.
Master said,
“In ordinary human society, people compete with, deceive, and harm each other for a little personal gain. All of these mentalities must be given up. Especially for people who are studying the practice today, these mentalities should be given up even further.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)
By cultivating, I understood that the conflicts people have are the result of karmic debts from previous lives, debts that must be paid. Because I wanted to be a true disciple, I had to do what Master taught me both inside and outside the home. I had to be strict with myself and not argue. I had to cultivate compassion and treat others kindly, which, of course, should include my mother-in-law.
But in actual conflicts, it was sometimes hard to control myself. A few years back, I found out by accident that on two occasions my mother-in-law had been following me. I knew that if I was able to find out twice, she must have followed me many more times. I was furious. It was obvious that she was afraid of me having an affair since my husband often worked out of town for long stretches of time.
My resentment for her grew, so I talked about it with another practitioner. She reminded me that, as practitioners, we should not behave like ordinary people. That is, I needed to be considerate of my mother-in-law’s desire to protect her son. I thought it over and knew what the practitioner said was right. Anything we encounter is not coincidental and we should look within. Gradually I was able to let go of these negative notions.
My mother-in-law’s health began to decline during the past two to three years. She often coughed and was sometimes short of breath. She caught colds easily and would end up in the hospital. Her two daughters and I usually took care of her when she was in the hospital, while her older son and his wife did not. If I had not practiced Dafa, I would not have the heart to do it either.
Once when the temperature plummeted on a rainy day, my mother-in-law felt unwell again and needed to go to the hospital again. I did not get her call this time. Since she could not find anyone else except for her older son, he ended up taking her to the hospital. When I found out a few days later, I went to the hospital. As soon as I arrived, he wanted to leave. I agreed without hesitation.
After he left, my mother-in-law told me, “My older son had a hard time the past few days. He complained that no one else came. It’s great that you are here.”
The next day, my mother-in-law told me that she wanted to pay her older son for taking care of her for those few days so that he would not be angry. I said fine. But then she said she did not have the money and wanted me and her two daughters to chip in. She said both of her daughters agreed and she only needed my share.
My heart started to pound when I heard that and I did not want to “chip in.” How come her older son needed to be paid for taking care of her but not me? In fact, not only was I not paid, I also had to pay him out of my pocket. That was unfair. I told her that I did not carry that much money and I would give it to her the following day.
After I got home the next morning, I started to study the Falun Dafa teachings right away since I had no time to do it in the hospital. I read the following:
“Our school of cultivation directly targets one’s mind. When your personal interests are on the line or you are in the midst of an interpersonal conflict, can you take these matters lightly and care less about them? This is the crucial question.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
“Everything will assume the form of everyday situations, such as someone may have irritated you today, someone has upset you, someone has mistreated you, or someone suddenly speaks to you disrespectfully. It is to see how you will react to these issues.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
“This is because when a conflict occurs, it will take place unexpectedly. But that is not a coincidence—it is for improving your xinxing.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
I slowly calmed down and my heart no longer pounded like the day before. I knew that this was what Master had arranged for me to improve myself—and I was able to pass the test. I mentioned this to another practitioner and she also encouraged me to handle this well. So I gave my mother-in-law 4,500 yuan, and she gave the money to her older son. This way I was able to handle it peacefully.
My mother-in-law’s health continued to deteriorate and she has been in and out of the hospital. She did not feel good in February this year, so we were thinking of taking her to the hospital after the Chinese Lantern Festival. But the day before that, she had a fever and was so weak she couldn’t stand up. I was taking care of her then. She was so bad that I borrowed a wheelchair and pushed her to the hospital. An ECG and CT scan showed that she had severe heart failure and pneumonia.
I arranged for the hospitalization and went home to get her things. She was pretty bad this time and she could not take care of herself. She was also incontinent. I had to clean her every day. She is tall and heavy, and it was really hard to move her. I sweated a lot each time. She was embarrassed and felt sorry for me, saying, “You’ve never had to take care of your mother like this, have you?” I said, “It’s okay. You do need help.”
I had no complaints during the whole time she was in the hospital. I paid the bill and took care of her. After being tempered so many times, my compassion and tolerance grew and I was able to treat her with kindness from the bottom of my heart. Cultivators are all compassionate, and I was so grateful that Falun Dafa is truly wonderful and Master is so compassionate.
After two weeks, her second daughter, Bo, decided to take my mother-in-law to her home and take care of her there. She asked me to come live with her to help out since it would be too much for her all by herself. I agreed. We took good care of my mother-in-law, fixing her nutritious meals and trying to make her happy. I found time to chat with her in the morning and before bedtime every day. She really enjoyed our times together.
While we were chatting one night, she looked at me and said, “Look how smooth your skin is now, and your complexion looks good, too. You used to have pimples, but now they are gone.” I said, “I practice Dafa now, so they went away. I take good care of you also because I practice Dafa and I do what Master Li tells us to do.” By chatting with her every day, I was able to restore her kind nature and let her know that, because I was a practitioner, I was genuinely kind to her.
Another morning, she called me over and said, “Tang, here are the keys to the cabinets and chests in my house. Go and bring me all the valuables you can find.” I was surprised and did not understand what she was talking about. She continued, “The most valuable things are the house deeds, for both the house and the bungalow. There is also a gold ring and other things, too.” Bo heard what she said and whispered to me outside the room, “This is the first time I’ve ever seen my mother like this. She was always a miser, afraid we’d find out what valuables she had. What happened today?”
My mother-in-law called me again, “There is also a gold necklace, but I don’t remember where I put it. Look for it carefully. There are also two silver bracelets and a gold ring. There is a silver water cup, a set of silver bowls, silver chopsticks, and silver spoons, which you can take back to your home. You can also take the wool sweater. My daughters bought me several sets of undershirts and underpants, all brand new, and you can have them as well.”
I went to her home and searched everywhere. Finally, I found everything and brought them to her the next morning. I asked her to check and see if anything was missing. After looking through them, she was satisfied and said, “Yes, that's it. Nothing missing.” Then, she took out the gold ring and the gold necklace and gave them to me. I insisted that I could only take one and asked her to give one to Bo. She told me to take the ring since it had been passed down from my father-in-law’s family and should remain in the family, that is, her son’s family. In the end, she gave the necklace to Bo, her second daughter.
I continued to chat with my mother-in-law every day, telling her more facts about Falun Dafa and the relationship between virtue and karma. I told her that people should accumulate more virtue instead of karma, which would benefit their health and other aspects of their life. I tried to inspire her good nature.
One day, after Bo and I had worked hard making steamed dumplings for dinner, my mother-in-law said she would not eat them. She complained that the bowl with the stuffing had not been covered completely in the afternoon and dirt got into it. My sister-in-law became angry. I said with a smile, “The house is so clean. There is no dirt. Besides, I covered the bowl. The lid is right here.” She stopped complaining and ate.
When I was washing the dishes, I heard her apologizing to Bo, “I am sorry. I was wrong and should not have said that to you [about the dirt].” Bo smiled and so did I. We both knew that an apology like that was as surprising as if the sun had risen in the west. It is hard to imagine that such a tough and stubborn person like my mother-in-law could one day become like this.
I knew this was because of the power of Falun Dafa and the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. Like a spring breeze, kindness has brought harmony and happiness to countless families, including mine.