(Minghui.org) I have been practicing Falun Dafa for more than 20 years. Thanks to Master’s protection, I have continued on my cultivation path despite ups and downs and taking some detours. My feelings are mixed when I look back over my cultivation journey. I told Master in my heart, “I am very sorry, Master, but I will follow you closely despite the circumstances and will never give up.”
The police came to my hometown to arrest me while I was attending university. They didn’t succeed thanks to Master’s protection, but they told me I had to go to the station the next day. Because I was afraid and, out of consideration for my personal interests, I went to see them the next day. The policeman I was told to see was not in. Another policeman told me to come the following day.
I didn’t think much about it and went there again the following day. They detained me and didn’t let me sleep for several days. I wrote three statements against my will and gave up practicing Falun Dafa.
I was very upset with myself for quite some time, and I still missed Dafa in my heart. I read Dafa books secretly and didn’t dare let my family members know. In 2015, I felt that I couldn’t behave like that anymore. I wanted to do the exercises and formally return to cultivation.
We had a small apartment then. I did the first four exercises in the morning in the kitchen. I did the meditation on the balcony when my wife prepared breakfast. She was not happy and told me to choose between giving up practicing Falun Dafa or divorce. I was calm. I would never give up Falun Dafa.
I told her the facts about Falun Dafa repeatedly. She didn’t believe what I said. I explained how suspicious the Tiananmen Square self-immolation incident was. She said, “You were not there. How do you know it was staged?” She cursed me and drove me out of the house. When I was alone, I wanted to divorce her. I thought, “So what? I will be able to calm down if I get divorced. I will be able to quietly study the Fa well.” But then I thought about how a divorce would impact our child, and I realized didn’t want a divorce.
“In the course of practice, we require the following of everyone: Even though you practice and your spouse might not, it is not permitted for you to get a divorce because of the practice.” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)
I didn’t do well, so I needed to let her see the compassion of a Falun Dafa practitioner. I offered to help her with the household chores.
Things changed for the better a little. I told her the facts about Falun Dafa whenever I had the opportunity. I had her watch the video “False Fire.” Gradually she understood somewhat, but she was still afraid of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). She still insisted on getting divorced.
Some practitioners had shared in articles on the Minghui website how they had completely let go of their attachments. Inspired by them, I thought I would not ask for any share of our property if we got divorced. I told my wife, and she was even more eager to get divorced. She prepared a divorce agreement and asked me to give up any share in our joint property. I thought it over on my way home from work the next day. I could give up everything. We had two apartments. I wanted one so that I would have a stable environment for cultivation. I told my wife my thoughts. She stopped nagging me. I now realize that the thought of giving up everything was motivated by following what other practitioners did—it was not in accordance with the Fa. I had a show off mentality. I was not in the Fa and that would bring me more trouble. When I became rational and had righteous thoughts, the tribulation became small.
My wife asked my sisters to persuade me to give up cultivation. I clarified the truth to them. They were both educated and kind. I picked up my elder sister from the train station. On the way home, I had her watch truth-clarification videos and explained Falun Dafa. She understood and agreed to withdraw from the CCP using her nickname. She talked with my wife after we got to my home. My wife saw that my sister would not be useful, so she threatened divorce again in front of her. It seemed that she was determined.
I stayed calm and my mind was empty, since I had already gone through previous tests. I only had one thought, “I will never give up.” Out of the blue my wife said, “I see you are determined. I will not raise the issue of divorce again.”
I was thrilled and felt the power of Falun Dafa. Thank you, Master, for your compassion. I had never used the word “determination” in conversations with my wife. I felt it was not my wife who’d said them.
During that time my younger sister’s mindset was similar to my wife’s. She didn’t listen to me. I printed the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party for her to read. One night I argued with her. In the end, I said that she would go to hell with the evil CCP if she didn’t withdraw from it. She replied, “I am willing to go to hell.” I realized that I was being too extreme. I felt sorry for her. Why was it so difficult to save a person?
To my surprise, the next day my younger sister said to me, “Please withdraw me from the CCP using my real name.”
I can now study the Fa and do the exercises at home. My wife knows that Falun Dafa is good and she has refused to be a member of the CCP.
Reviewing the changes my family members went through, I know it was due to Master’s compassion. Master saved them when my xinxing was up to par.
My mother came over now and then to help us after our son was born. Big conflicts erupted every six months or so. At first they were just between my mother and my wife. Gradually, I became involved. My resentment for my mother increased, especially when I thought about her previous behavior, my mind was full of her wrongdoings: “Why don’t you see that you are the problem? Why did you argue with your daughter-in-law? You said you cared about your grandson, but when we asked you to come take care of him, you didn’t. You just want to enjoy yourself. You have no problem letting him stay home alone. He suffered and was not safe!” My mind was full of these kinds of thoughts.
I later realized that if those things were happening again and again, there must be something that I must cultivate away.
“Of course, in practicing cultivation in ordinary human society, we should respect parents and educate our children. Under all circumstances, we must be good and kind to others, not to mention to our family members. We should treat everyone in the same way. We must be good to our parents and children and be considerate of others in all respects. Such a heart is thus unselfish, and it is a heart of kindness and benevolence.” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)
Did I put this into practice? I always considered myself first and complained about others. Wasn’t I being selfish? Wasn’t I wrong? A practitioner should be a good person in any circumstances. Was I a good person? How badly I did! I knew I was wrong, but it was hard for me to pick up the phone to apologize to my mother.
As I studied the Fa more, I realized that what I had been whining about and couldn’t let go of was no longer important. These things had nothing to do with me. I had to be good to my mother. One day my younger sister called me and said, “I will give you some money so you can buy something our parents will like for me. But don’t tell them it is from me because they are still angry with me. When they are no longer angry, I will call them.”
Now my family is in harmony. On one occasion when I went home, my mother asked me, “What were those words you told me? Please write them down for me. I will repeat them every day. I no longer believe in Christianity. I believe what you believe.” I was very emotional when I heard this. Worldly people are indeed awakening.
I listen to Minghui Radio frequently. Practitioners say such wonderful things when they share their experiences about going through xinxing tests. They tell about how they consider others when they go through tests, saying things like, “I think of how much he suffers, and the things he is going through and I feel calm.” Through their experience sharing, I realized that worldly principles are not important and we don’t need to think about them because these are the principles of everyday people. If ordinary people don’t comply with those principles, shouldn’t we forgive them?
Master gave an example of how a cultivator suffered bitterness on top of bitterness. These conflicts are one form of bitterness in daily life that help us improve. Master requires us “Let joy be found in hardship.” (“Tempering the Will,” Hong Yin) Did I do that?
I work six days a week and am often required to do overtime in the evenings during the week. I don’t have much time for myself and even less time to see my friends, so I clarify the truth to people by sending emails.
I initially doubted if sending emails counted as clarifying the truth and if talking to people in person about Falun Dafa counted as clarifying the truth. I read Master’s lectures and many sharing articles by practitioners, and I realized that it was good that practitioners went to markets and bus stations to clarify the truth, but many young people who work in offices like me spend their spare time on their mobile phones and computers at home on the weekends. I send emails to them and let them know the truth. It serves as a complement to other forms of truth clarification. Sending a truth-clarification email is the same as delivering a pamphlet to a household. I could include more content in an email, along with anti-censorship software.
I read sharing articles that explained how some practitioners helped many people withdraw from the CCP. I was happy for them. At the same time, I wondered if it would be good if I could do the same thing. So I added a sentence in my emails: “If you want to withdraw from the CCP, please reply to me and I will help you quit.” But nobody replied. I later realized that I was not doing this with a pure heart. Only Master and Falun Dafa can save people. I was only spreading the truth about Falun Dafa. It was good enough to send out emails. Even if those people don’t agree to withdraw from the CCP after reading my emails, they might agree to quit the CCP when other practitioners ask them to. Dafa practitioners are one body. Each practitioner plays the part that he or she should. As long as people are saved, it doesn’t matter who has saved them. We have all come to save people.
When my mind was right, I got replies. Some thanked me and some cursed me. I sent more information to those who cursed me so that they could read more and know more.
I sent different things to different people. When the CCP virus broke out, I sent the pandemic special edition from the Minghui website to people in the Wuhan area. I sent more materials to people in legal departments, since they have fewer chances to encounter practitioners who clarify the truth in person. The Minghui website had many news pieces. For example, it had news about the United States government refusing to grant visas to human rights abusers and news about practitioners collecting the names of persecutors and presenting the lists to the U.S. and other Western governments. I emailed those documents to people in China, and I compiled news about the local persecution into fliers and emailed them to local people.
Looking back over my cultivation journey, I realized that only by studying the Fa well can I do the three things well. Studying the Fa well is the key to ensuring that I walk my cultivation path well. Let us cultivate more diligently as we come closer to the end. Let’s follow Master and return to our original homes after consummation.