(Minghui.org) I am a retired female Falun Dafa practitioner. I’m 66 years old. I’d like to share my experience of how I passed a tribulation on my way to the Fa-study group.
The Fa-study group I often attended was a few miles from my home. On my way there one day, I heard a loud “bang” at my left calf. It was as if someone had hit me very hard with a heavy stick. I felt unbearable pain. I felt so heavy, as if I was fixed there, and could no longer move. I couldn’t help but shout, “Master Li Hongzhi, please help me!” After that, I thought that I was a practitioner and I’ll be fine. When I looked around, there was no one around me. When I looked down, there was nothing on the ground either.
I wondered, “What’s going on?” I was caught off guard. I thought I needed to move on, yet my calf was in so much pain that I couldn’t move, nor did I have any strength. I began to ask for Master’s help to empower me, and I kept reciting, “Nothing is truly unbearable or impossible.” (The Ninth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
Right away, Master’s Fa bestowed immense power on me. I thought: The old forces attempted to interfere with me and prevent me from going to the group Fa study. I will not succumb to it. Group Fa-study is the format that Master established for us to improve in our cultivation. I will only follow the path that Master has arranged for me, and completely negate and dismantle all arrangements made by the old forces throughout history.
While thinking about that, I lifted my right leg, tried to move it forward, and then dragged my left leg. I had to endure tremendous pain and move bit by bit, while calling out to Master. Right then, this part of the road seemed to be particularly long. It felt as if I had walked for a very long time, but finally, empowered by Master, I arrived at the building where our group study was held.
I thought: No matter how my calf hurt, I would never acknowledge the tribulation imposed upon me. As soon as I went into the Fa-study group, I thought I must sit in the lotus position.
Our Fa-study group is on the third floor. As I was climbing the stairs, I asked for Master to strengthen me, so that I could get there. Then, when I lifted my leg, there was a loud “pop” at the Tanzhong acupuncture point. It was like the sound of an explosion, and it spread throughout my whole body all at once.
Miraculously, the pain in my leg disappeared immediately. It was as if nothing happened. My left leg was completely fine, and I felt extremely relaxed. This was Dafa’s miraculous power manifesting in me one more time. I thanked Master and quickly ran all the way up to the third floor.
Afterwards, I wondered, why did this happen?
Master said:
“You should also be clear that “natural” does not exist, and “the inevitable” has reasons behind it.” (“Expounding on the Fa,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
While comparing myself to the standards of the Fa, I kept looking inward. Then I realized what my attachments were.
One attachment I found was fear. Since the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) began to persecute Dafa, I have been arrested and detained several times. Back then, my family members all believed in Dafa and were supportive of my cultivation. My being persecuted resulted in my family suffering great financial losses.
After returning home from an arrest, the CCP sent officers to my home to harass and intimidate me. My family was so upset and worried about me. Being poisoned by the CCP’s lies, they didn’t dare to speak out to condemn the CCP for its unlawful behavior. Instead, they became upset with me. This was especially the case after I was arrested and returned home. The CCP officials, in order to monitor me, forced my husband’s company to put him on a leave of absence. Then they put pressure on him to watch me around the clock. They deprived me of my freedom by not letting me go out.
Moreover, my husband hit and swore at me whenever he wasn’t happy. Even worse, he said many disrespectful things about Master and Dafa. However, I didn’t resent him. I felt it was because I hadn’t done well, and was taken advantage of by the evil. I couldn’t go out to help save sentient beings, but worse than that, I was allowing some people to commit sins against Dafa. I deeply felt sorry for Master and Dafa, as well as the sentient beings who wanted to be saved. I felt very regretful and kept blaming myself.
From then on, I was under a shadow of fear of being persecuted. Additionally, I often heard about other practitioners being persecuted: that a Fa-study group was sabotaged, that so-and-so was arrested and his or her home was ransacked, who was dismissed from work, which practitioner had his or her pension payment stopped, or who was sentenced and thrown into prison. Hearing all these things intensified my fear and increased my negative thoughts even more. With that, I became overly cautious in doing everything.
A second attachment I found was vanity. Since childhood, I was afraid to talk to people. I became nervous and blushed when I spoke to people. My heart pounded, and I stammered. In class, I was afraid to read in front of others, out of fear that my classmates would laugh at me if I made any mistakes.
After I began to cultivate in Falun Dafa, I gradually managed to overcome these obstacles, such that my attachment subsided, but not to the point of it completely going away. Sometimes it still manifested. For example, I was afraid to read the Fa in front of fellow practitioners. Thus, I often mispronounced, omitted, or added words. The more afraid I was, the worse my cultivation state became. In thinking back about it now, behind the fear, there were many hidden attachments, such as the attachment of pursuit, a show-off mentality, vanity, a competitive mentality, jealousy, and attachment to comfort.
Sometimes I looked at other practitioners and things in my cultivation with human attachments. Sometimes I treated group Fa-study as a formality, and felt I couldn’t enlighten to the Fa-principles. It was only when I studied the Fa alone that I could enlighten to Fa-principles, which all came down to my own misunderstanding.
By attending the group Fa-study with so many attachments, didn’t I undermine the pure field of practitioners? Thus, I was taken advantage of by the evil and incurred this persecution.
Thanks to Master’s empowerment and protection, I was able to realize my fundamental attachments amidst the tribulation, and dismantle the persecution by the old forces. I greatly appreciate Master’s compassionate protection!
I must learn from this serious lesson, and improve from now on. I will study the Fa and calm my mind during Fa-study. I’ll eliminate my various attachments, cultivate myself well, walk my future path well, and put my heart into doing the three things. Only then can I be worthy of benevolent Master and Dafa.