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[Celebrating World Falun Dafa Day] Impossible Family Relationships Become Harmonious after I Began Practicing Falun Dafa

May 29, 2022 |   By a Falun Dafa practitioner in Heilongjiang Province, China

(Minghui.org) I am 54 years old and I started practicing Falun Dafa in 1998. I am grateful to Master Li for introducing such a good practice, so that I can be the person I am today and have a beautiful and harmonious family.

My Husband’s Changes Reflect My Cultivation State

As soon as we got married, I found that my husband had no family values and only cared about having fun. He was irritable, and he frequently beat and scolded me. He would go “dining, wining, whoring and gambling” as the saying goes. At that time, before I could transfer my job from my parents’ hometown to where I lived, I had to do temporary work. Because he spent money like water, we had financial problems and often quarreled over money.

I was already hardheaded and fierce. When the two of us lived together, one can only imagine how much we fought. Most of the time he always got the upper hand. One time while I was cooking I said something he didn’t like. He grabbed a small pot on the stove and threw it at me. The pot was filled with hot soybean oil that had just been poured from the frying pan, but luckily I dodged fast enough to avoid a tragedy. 

I was already in poor health. I was so weak that I couldn’t even hold my own child, and I even fainted a few times when I went to the public bath, but my husband didn’t care about me. After I had fibroid surgery, I passed out in the hospital bed. Not only did he not take care of me, but he chatted with others in the hallway. When I came out of the hospital, I was too weak to walk. But he didn’t even offer to call me a cab home. My marriage felt like I was living in hell, however, I had to take care of my young child. Otherwise I would have killed myself several times over.

Listening to my bitter complaints about my life, my sister who still lived in our hometown tried to counsel me. She had begun practicing Falun Dafa, and suggested that I learn it too. At the beginning, I did not understand much of the profound teachings of Dafa, but I knew that I had to be moral, conscientious, not cheat, not harm anyone or take advantage of others, and to be kind to everyone, so that I would be blessed. Since I couldn’t leave this family and I couldn’t die either, I realized that I should look inward and change myself.

I tried hard to be kind, to see the good side of my husband, and to speak and act as gently as possible. I found that as long as I did well according to Dafa’s principles, he became better and showed that he cared about me. When I could not let go of my attachment or maintain my character, he would return to his old self. Yet he saw the goodness of Falun Dafa from the fundamental changes in me.

I occasionally told my husband stories of China’s divinely-inspired culture and how good and evil are rewarded, and about Dafa spreading around the world. I gave him access to a VPN so he could read the real news from outside China. He became more and more supportive of Dafa and my cultivation. My husband is a straightforward person, and when I was busy doing Dafa work, his family and friends all said to him that he should do something about me. He told them, “She is doing the right thing. Her Master is here to save people. People nowadays only care about having fun and we don’t have any sense of justice and conscience. We are no different from animals.”

Once, the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) secretary of his work unit asked him to help "transform" me. He replied, “'Transform' her to what? I am a trouble-maker and know no boundaries, but she will never leave me. She feeds and clothes me and gives me all the freedom I want. She spends time chatting with me, is filial to my parents, and guides our child to be a good person. Should she be 'transformed' to be like you guys, dining, wining, whoring, and gambling? None of you can compare with Dafa disciples. They can let go of life and death for the sake of all sentient beings, but you are selling your conscience for a little more profit.” The Party secretary was ashamed and asked him to stop talking. Afterwards a coworker who overheard their conversation commented, “Brother, are you telling the truth about Falun Dafa?” My husband replied, “I was telling the truth!”

My husband not only supported me in words but also faced the police with no fear in order to save Dafa practitioners. At the height of the persecution, the police arrested practitioners frantically. Once, the police in my hometown could not find my sister who practiced Dafa, and knowing that I also practiced Dafa, they traveled a long distance in an attempt to search my home for her. My husband blocked the door of our place and sternly warned the officer who was directing the operation, “We don’t have much of anything in our house, but a lot of knives.” Because my husband used to fight a lot on the street, he was known around the area for his ruthlessness. As soon as the policeman heard him, they drove away in their car. My sister, who was inside the house, remained safe.

Sometimes when I slacked off, my husband even urged me, “Hurry up and improve your character!” Because my husband believes in Dafa and supports Dafa practitioners, he has been blessed and is doing well at his workplace and his health is getting better and better. My home is now filled with warmth.

My Son’s Amazing Experiences Reaffirm the Goodness of Dafa 

When my son went to middle school, he was treated as an out-of-area student and was assigned to the class with the worst student population. My son became rebellious and gave up on himself. He began hanging out with problem kids all day, skipping classes, accompanying school bullies to collect protection money, hanging out at Internet cafes, etc. He was not interested in studying and ranked at the bottom of his class. I was so worried, but I didn’t know how to guide him, so I just used corporal punishment to try to change him, but it didn’t work. I had no choice but to send him to live with my sister, a Dafa practitioner, and hoped that she would guide him. 

My sister patiently advised and guided my son, making him realize his mistakes, teaching him to be considerate and helpful, and talking about how difficult it was for parents. She told him that had it not been for Dafa, his mother would have left the family long ago. My son studied Dafa with me when he was a child and knew that Dafa was miraculous. Sometimes when he had headaches and could not attend class, he would recite the words, “Falun Dafa is good, and Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” One time, he suddenly went into a state of shock. Although he could not speak, he was conscious. He immediately recited “Falun Dafa is good, and Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good” silently in his mind, and kept reciting them while his classmates called the emergency number 120 for an ambulance. By the time the ambulance arrived, my son was back to normal.

A year later, my son came back to live with me. I had learned some tips from my sister on how to teach him. Instead of talking down to him, I treated him as a friend. I no longer hit him or scolded him. I just shared my thoughts with him. 

He became interested in school. He was no longer critical of his classmates and teachers and was helpful to others. His grades got much better. He moved up 200 places, from as low as the bottom 30 places. Although his teacher was very pleased with his improvement, he was still worried that due to my son’s poor beginning, he might not be able to get into a secondary school. 

A miracle happened. My son just met the requirement to be accepted into a secondary school. The school principal called me and excitedly told me the news. I replied, “I practice Falun Dafa and as long as I follow the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, we will be blessed.” 

Then another miracle happened. After the college entrance exam, a university in Shenyang had two extra spaces for students in our province. My son got lucky and was accepted by the university with 100 marks lower than the requirement for the university. With his marks, it would have been difficult for him to get into a third-tier university. But he got into a second-tier university. His father and grandfather could not stop smiling. My husband kept saying at the family dinner table, “Thanks to Falun Dafa. Thanks to my wife who raised my son so well!”

Before he graduated, my son went to a big city in the south for an internship. He is modest and eager to learn, and was appreciated by his supervisor. After graduation, he was offered a job in that company. My son suffered hardship gracefully and followed the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. His behavior was in sharp contrast to behaviors of the current young generation who only focus on pleasure and making money. Impressed with his character and positive attitude, his supervisor not only gave him a salary increase, but also often gave him separate benefits.

Working for a foreign company is stressful and requires constant upgrading. My son’s English was not good and could not compare with those who lived outside China. The department meetings were normally conducted in English. His supervisor knew that my son’s English was not good, so he had to speak Chinese at the meeting for him. Although my son worked hard on his English, he still was not confident enough to speak English during the meetings. One night, he had a dream that someone was teaching him English. Although he could not see clearly, he knew it was Master’s law body. 

When he got to work that day, everyone was waiting for the meeting to start. When the manager gestured to him to speak, my son stood up with a smile on his face and said what he wanted to say fluently. Everyone looked at him in shock as if he was a different person. My son was so happy that he later shared this experience with me on a video call.

During the three years of the pandemic, my son could not visit us. When I missed him, we could only video call each other, and he talked to me about work, problems he encountered, etc. If I heard anything that he was not doing right, I promptly pointed it out so that he could correct himself. Now my son is doing very well in this major city and has found a like-minded girlfriend. He also encourages his friends around him to be good. Although he has not yet returned to Dafa practice, he always acts according to the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance.

My Mother-in-law Respects Falun Dafa

Before I started practicing, my mother-in-law didn’t like me, and she always said nasty things behind my back to my husband and my father-in-law. She bullied me and made life difficult for me. I used to nudge my husband to go to my father-in-law and tell her off (because our child was a boy, my father-in-law favored me and my mother-in-law was afraid of him), causing tension between them.

I didn’t work at that time and stayed at home. Because I had many ailments it was hard for me to look after my son. When I went to bed at night it wasn’t sure if I would be alive the next day. My husband often got into trouble and did not give me any money for living expenses, and when he saw cash in the house, he grabbed it for his gambling. When I said that I would leave him, he grabbed the child and threatened to go gambling. I was afraid that he would go crazy and use our son as a bet. I blamed his parents for not raising him properly.

And yet my mother-in-law had the audacity to come to my house and ask me for money, so I threw her out. My husband did not give me money for expenses, so I often went to a friend in my neighborhood to borrow money. She felt sorry for my son and me, so even though she had little money herself, she helped me out. With the help of my friends, I was able to get through those difficult years.

After I began practicing Falun Dafa I knew that I had to first improve my family relationships. I looked at my own shortcomings when I encountered problems. Once, while I was making flat bread with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law, my bread looked much better than my sister-in-law’s, but my mother-in-law said, “Did your mother teach you that? Why did you roll them like that?” With tears in my eyes, I didn’t say anything. My mother-in-law didn’t stop there and said in a provocative tone, “Didn’t your Master teach you to be tolerant? You didn’t follow his teaching! Why are you still shedding tears? Why don’t you put up with it?” At that moment, my husband, who was in the living room saw my sister-in-law suddenly run out of the kitchen. He came over to me and asked, “Did my mother pick on you again?” I replied promptly, “No.” After my husband walked away, my mother-in-law said in a calm tone, “Wow! You’ve really improved and stopped picking fights.” 

Master told us to think of others and be kind. I sincerely told my mother-in-law, “When I do something wrong, you must tell me, and I will change.” I remember when my father-in-law was sick and hospitalized I visited him and gave my mother-in-law some money, but she was too embarrassed and said she didn’t want anything. She shouted loudly, “Child, Dafa is good! If you hadn’t learned Falun Dafa, would you have given me money?” It’s true. This would never have been possible for me before cultivation.

I gave money to my mother-in-law on important holidays, but she did not want to accept it. I said, “I didn’t have any money before, but now I have a pension, so even though it’s not much, I should give you some money out of respect." She was moved and had tears in her eyes. She said, “I never thought that my daughter-in-law would be so good to me in my old age. If you hadn’t learned Dafa, I wouldn’t have this blessing!”

My mother-in-law was a clean freak. She never allowed me to stay at her house; even after we helped her make dumplings on New Year’s Eve, she would not let us stay in her home. I would have to walk back to my house with tears in my eyes, carrying my son on my back while walking through the heavy snow, with the sound of firecrackers overhead. Now it’s different. Whenever I go to her house, I stay there for a few days and visit with my in-laws. They are very happy and often tell the rest of the family, “My eldest daughter-in-law has really changed after learning Dafa. Not only has she changed herself, but my son and grandson have also changed. This Dafa is really good! It’s all because of Falun Dafa’s Master!”

When I stayed with her, we slept in the same bed, and she would make sure that I was warm enough. From time to time she would touch my feet to see if they were cold. We always chitchatted until one of us fell asleep first. Every time I visited her, she always asked me to stay one more day.

I often reminded her to recite the words, “Falun Dafa is good, and Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good,” but sometimes she couldn’t remember to do so. One day last year at her house, before I had finished my early morning exercise practice, I saw that something was wrong with her. When I asked, I found out that she could not move her arms and back. We rushed her to the hospital and the doctor who examined her said that she had problems with her back, among other things. When she was young, she worked very hard, and as she got older, her injuries caught up with her.

When I returned home from the hospital, I said, “Mom, you’ve seen the doctor and taken the medicine, but the pain has not been relieved. Let me teach you something. Sincerely recite ‘Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.’” She agreed and said it over and over again. That afternoon, she said that the pain was gone. Later my mother-in-law told me happily, “By reciting ‘Dafa is good,’ I can walk upstairs now.”

Two other miraculous events happened to her. One summer there was a big drought and everyone hoped for rain. That day, there was finally a sign of rain. However, the rain only fell in the residential area. My mother-in-law remembered what I’d told her: “Ask Dafa’s Master for help.” She kept saying, “Master of Dafa, help me!” Then a cloud came over and went straight over her plot of land. When she came downstairs and ran to the edge of the field, the rain was pouring down on her field.

Another time, when my mother-in-law was harvesting her wheat it rained heavily. The wheat was packed in bags and covered with plastic sheets. It rained for four or five days, so all the grain was likely to get damp and moldy. She shouted, “Falun Dafa is good! Please help me, Master of Falun Dafa!” She was still not sure, so she ran to the field and said to the wheat, “My daughter-in-law studies Dafa, and I truly believe that Dafa is good. Don’t get moldy, and remember that Falun Dafa is good!”

After the rain, I went to my mother-in-law’s house with my sister-in-law. My mother-in-law said to me happily, “It’s a miracle that after so many days of rain, nothing happened to the wheat. If it had gone moldy, I would have worked all summer for nothing!”

After this incident, my mother-in-law became more sincere in reciting “Falun Dafa is good” and urged me, “Go and tell your father-in-law to say the ‘Nine True Words’ too!”

As I write this, tears stream down my face. Our whole family is grateful to Master! Thanks to Falun Dafa, our family is living happily and healthily under the Buddha’s light of Falun Dafa.