(Minghui.org) Master said,“Amidst tribulations, it is very difficult for a student to see the cause of a matter; but it’s not that it is impossible. When he calms his mind and evaluates things with Dafa, he will be able to see the essence of the matter.” (“Rationality,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress II)
I overcame an illness tribulation related to my eyes a month ago. I accepted a job to clear old mushroom stocks in the mushroom shack. It was especially hot in June, but working inside the shack was still tolerable. Everyone worked hard and sweated quite a lot, which was considered normal.
I discovered some problems with my right eye the next day; it was red, kept producing mucus, and was itchy and uncomfortable. It hurt. It felt like a large grain of sand was stuck in my eye. It got much worse and began to feel as if needles were piercing my eye after a while.
My first thought was, “A cultivator must gain understanding from the Fa.” So I tried to look for the cause of this issue based on the Fa. As the affected eye was the right eye, I recalled what Master said,
“Now, this eye (the right eye) doesn’t have a sub-passageway beneath it, for reasons directly related to the Way: people tend to use the right eye for doing wrongful things.” (The Second Talk, Zhuan Falun)
I thought that since it was karma caused by the right eye, I should just let it suffer, repay it and get rid of the karma. However, the same symptoms also showed up on my left eye the next day. I felt that my understanding must have been wrong.
Then I recalled Master said, “... a regular person’s thoughts direct the limbs or sensory organs to do things.” (The Ninth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
Oh, it is not about the right eye, but is related to my xinxing. I reminded myself that in the future I should not just look at the surface of the matter, but for the fundamental cause of the problem.
I looked within and found a notion: I experienced similar symptoms last year when I worked in the shack. Because mushrooms belong to the fungus family, I thought that the symptoms were caused by the mushrooms. This is equivalent to accepting this thought unwittingly. My incorrect thought brought about this trouble. When I realized that, I sent out a strong and powerful thought: “Annihilate this unrighteous thought.” The situation did not improve.
As I forced myself to bear the pain and discomfort, I persisted in one thought: no matter what, every activity must go on as usual and I could not stop working. It was not to earn money but to overcome the tribulation. I had a thought: “If this is forced upon me by the old forces, I will totally reject it. I will not even acknowledge it in my behavior. If it is to eliminate my karma, I will endure it.”
On the eighth day, I really could not persist anymore and I wavered slightly. I thought of just resting for half a day to see what would happen. Master’s Fa once again rang in my ear, “... that is in fact karma being reduced.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2019 New York Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. XV) I recited the phrase over and over again and fixed my attention on the thought: It is shedding karma!
I looked within and found many attachments. The most obvious and hard to detect attachment was the desire to show off. In the past, I came to realize I had this attachment, but it has never been so deeply hidden and cunning. When I was working, I felt light and my actions were clean and fast. Sometimes, I would even secretly take a look at others to see if anyone took note of me. I wanted to demonstrate that I was better than others; I wanted others to acknowledge me before acknowledging Dafa. In actuality, I was showing off and did not really validate Dafa.
When I came to this understanding, I was in shock; it’s such a dangerous thought. I sent out a thought: I do not want this attachment; let it be annihilated. I also found the attachment of not being willing to take criticism. Once I heard people criticize me, I would lose my temper; I was also afraid of being wronged. The more I looked within, the more attachments I found. The more I looked within, the brighter my heart became. I felt lighter and the discomfort in my eyes was also partially relieved.
Around the tenth day, I meditated in the morning. When I released my legs from the lotus position at the end, I heard a peaceful and benevolent voice, “Slowly open your eyes.” The voice was repeated twice. I tried to open my eyes and my left eye opened. Then, I heard the same voice again and tried opening my right eye. It opened, too! A few days prior, I needed to rinse my eyes every morning before I could open them.
I personally experienced that Dafa guides one’s cultivation and Master is always by my side. No matter how long I have cultivated for, if I treat myself as a cultivator and cultivate myself solidly based on the Fa, I will ultimately overcome the tribulation and pass the test.
Thank you, Master, for your enlightenment and protection in my path of cultivation!