(Minghui.org) Reading cultivation experience sharing articles was a great help for my cultivation. At the same time, I was often inspired by other practitioners.
I formed a group Fa study to memorize the Fa and improved every week. My husband is also a practitioner and started practicing Falun Gong at the same time as me.
He was in charge of distributing newspapers and would leave at around 12:20 a.m. and return home at around 3:30 a.m. Although I was not part of his team, I talked with him and decided to come along in the car. I wanted to overcome my attachment to sleep, and use this opportunity to memorize the Fa. We started to memorize the Fa after the Chinese New Year in February 2021.
We talked about how we should work together, how many sentences we should memorize at a time, how we would correct each other if we read the wrong character, and the tone of our voices. Memorizing the Fa with my husband was a process of cultivating the heart.
My husband drove the car. Both of us recited Master’s Fa and corrected each other. In the beginning, my husband was getting impatient when he made mistakes, and my tone of voice was not compassionate.
I thought, “How can one be so slow?” Fortunately, I realized that I had developed a negative mentality. I needed to be compassionate and calm since I memorized the Fa while looking at Master’s lecture books, yet my husband recited while only listening to me.
However, how can we improve “if everyone is good to one another”? As a result, tribulations started to occur. My husband was able to memorize the Fa very well, while I kept forgetting what I just memorized. I took almost an hour to memorize one short paragraph.
I didn’t want to waste any time so I told my husband that he could go ahead and memorize the Fa without me, and that I would use some other time to catch up. We had an argument, and my husband got upset. He refused to memorize the Fa anymore because he felt that I was commanding him instead of memorizing the Fa myself.
On the surface it seemed like I was thinking about what was good for him, but after looking inward, I realized that my intentions weren’t pure when I memorized the Fa. I had very strong qing – sentimentality.
My husband had a lot of bad habits before practicing Falun Gong. After cultivating, I thought life would get better if both of us practiced the same belief. The reason I wanted my husband to memorize the Fa was because I wanted him to treat me better. My thoughts were selfish! I knew that I needed to eliminate this.
I wondered why I was not able to memorize the Fa. I realized that I had a mentality of self-righteousness. I believed that I had practiced very well, and I did not feel that I needed to hand write the Fa nor memorize the Fa. On top of that, when meeting with obstacles I couldn’t overcome, I gave up. It was an attachment of sentimentality.
Master said:
“Since human beings have sentimentality, being upset is sentimentality, so are happiness, love, hatred, enjoying doing one thing, resenting doing another thing, preferring one person to another, hobbies, and dislikes. Everything belongs to sentimentality, and everyday people just live for it.” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)
That’s when I enlightened that I needed to rectify myself, and eliminate human notions. As practitioners, we memorize the Fa to better abide by the standards of Dafa in our daily lives. When my notions changed for the better, I started to better memorize the Fa.
After this tribulation, another one followed. My husband started to get upset very easily and became very blunt.
Master said:
“Forbearance is the key to improving one’s xinxing. To endure with anger, grievance, or tears is the forbearance of an everyday person who is attached to his concerns. To endure completely without anger or grievance is the forbearance of a cultivator.” (“What is Forbearance (Ren)?,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
I decided to abide by the standards of Dafa and overcome this tribulation. However, this tribulation did not pass as fast as the other ones. Although I held no grudges, nor did I blame my husband for anything, I was still stuck in a position where I could not open my mouth and have a conversation with him. This was because whatever I said was all wrong in the eyes of my husband.
A few days passed with no improvement and I was dumbfounded. How should I upgrade my level? I realized that the reason I reached a stalemate was because Master was eliminating my demonic nature and transforming my karma.
It was my predestined relationship to have met my husband and sometimes our relationship might include karmic retribution. Perhaps I owed him, or perhaps he owed me something from a past lifetime. I understood that all of this appeared as karma.
To have obtained the Fa in this lifetime, I needed to repay all of what I owed. There will be no next lifetime for me since I want to return to my true origin. Upon thinking this, I was filled with a heart of compassion and sincerity.
I said silently to Master, “Whatever my husband owed me, I no longer seek it. Whatever I owed my husband, I will try my best to compassionately solve it.” I repeated this three times, and almost instantly a piece of heavy matter moved out from my heart.
We headed over to a practitioner’s factory since he needed people to produce some products. Getting to and from the factory took us two hours. As a result, time was very tight for us since we had to get there by eight a.m. and leave at three p.m. I needed time to study the Fa and do household chores. This made me neglect practicing the exercises. I would do two exercises during my lunch break.
While doing the third and fourth standing exercises one afternoon, the music stopped during the third exercise. I was surprised and realized that my mind had wandered off and I was not paying attention to what I was doing.
I know that Master was enlightening me and I put my palms together or heshi to Master. I apologized and said to Master, “I am sorry Master. I will practice the exercises diligently in the future.” A voice said, “You are thinking negatively. How can I eliminate your karma?” I knew that this was Master compassionately enlightening me.
When I did the fourth exercise set, I felt as if I was surrounded by an energy field. When doing the fourth set a second time, I could feel that energy was spiraling around my body.
I saw that each character in Zhuan Falun was a lotus flower when I studied the Fa that night. It was very divine and beautiful. Thank you Master for enlightening and encouraging me. I will make better use of the time and try my best to eliminate all my attachments.