(Minghui.org) Greetings, esteemed Master, and fellow practitioners!
I started practicing Falun Dafa in 2000. With the encouragement of fellow practitioners, I put together some of my experiences and insights during my 21 years of cultivation practice.
I grew up in an unspoiled countryside. As my family was poor, I had to work after elementary school. After I married, I had to work to make a living for my family, but I continued to dream of going back to school.
With the encouragement of my husband, I went back to school for the six years of middle school and high school. I was among the best students, and my teachers and classmates enjoyed working with me.
Looking back at my life before obtaining the Fa, I was either working or studying hard. Yet, however busy I was, I felt that I was waiting for something.
A friend asked me if I was interested in studying Falun Dafa, and showed me the book Zhuan Falun. I said that I was not interested because I thought I was too busy to practice anything. But she was patient and invited me to do the practice every time we met. I procrastinated for half a year before I bought a copy of Zhuan Falun.
To my surprise, tears covered my face as soon as I opened Zhuan Falun and looked at Master Li’s photo. I read the entire book Zhuan Falun. I knew that this was the book I was waiting for! I understood that the purpose of my life in this world was to obtain this Fa.
More than a decade ago, I was an assistant at a practice site. At that time, many practitioners were new and so I experienced a lot of xinxing tests.
Once, several practitioners had a conflict at the practice site in the park, and an elderly practitioner felt wronged. People in the park watched us. I was very nervous, thinking that this practitioner’s behavior would make people have a bad impression of Dafa, so I had a negative thought about her.
I took out Explaining the Content of Falun Dafa after I returned home and read the lecture Master gave in Beijing.
Master said,
“So think about it everyone, what’s your duty when you, an assistant, organize a group of people to practice?” (“Suggestions Given at the Beijing Falun Dafa Assistants Meeting,” Explaining the Content of Falun Dafa)
From Master’s teaching, I understood that assistants have a duty. If there is a need for coordination among practitioners, they should try their best to help them, and they should not have any bad thoughts toward fellow practitioners.
On another occasion, I was so busy that I did not have dinner until 8 p.m. But, as soon as I began to eat, a practitioner called and said that she was not feeling well. She asked me to come to her house and read the Fa with her. Because she was illiterate, she needed someone to read the Fa to her. Although I was hungry, I remembered that Master taught us to consider others’ needs before those of ourselves. I immediately put down the meal and rushed to the practitioner’s home to read the Fa. After listening to the Fa, the practitioner said that she felt much better and said that I could go home because it was already late. There was no complaint in my heart, because I knew this was my duty as an assistant.
Several years later, I focused on a project to clarify the truth by making phone calls, and another practitioner became the assistant of this practice site.
I had been busy all the time before I began practicing Falun Gong, and accumulated a lot of experience making phone calls. Now, I realized that the experience could help me save sentient beings, so I joined the phone-calling project.
While making phone calls to mainland China, I was often sworn at by the person on the other end of the line. No matter how ugly their words, I focused my mind on one thought: “He is swearing at someone else. I am here to save him.”
Once, the man on the other end swore loudly. I kept my patience and said, “Brother, please listen to me.” He didn’t listen and continued to curse me.
I ignored the cursing and said, “Brother, we might have arranged for an appointment many lives ago. You asked me to wake you up at this time so that you can be saved. Now I am here as agreed. Brother, you must quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) to be saved.” I began to cry because I was so worried that his life was in danger. He stopped cursing and listened. In the end, I heard him say, “Thank you, Sister, I quit [the CCP]!”
Because we have to talk directly to people during our phone calls, some practitioners are afraid to participate, including some older practitioners. Having been an assistant before, I knew I had to take the initiative, so I called them one by one, asking if they wanted to join the phone calling project. Many said they didn’t know how to talk to people and were afraid to talk on the phone. I encouraged them to join and learn.
We set up a training base. Practitioners who had experience and could make phone calls sat in one room, and the new participants sat in the other room to listen and learn. I said to them, “If you have learned enough and can talk, please go to the room with computers next door. If you are not ready yet, please watch me and listen to me for the time being. You can call whenever you want to make a call.”
They agreed. I firmly believe that as long as fellow practitioners had a learning environment, they would soon mature, and would perform the functions of Fa particles to fulfill their mission of saving people.
After learning from each other for a period of time, everyone gradually got courageous enough to speak and could make calls to clarify the truth and save people.
The Shen Yun promotion team asked me to manage the ticket office one year. I was honored. I asked, “I don’t have any accounting background, can I do it?” The coordinator assured me that I could. My righteous thoughts were strengthened and I thought, “There must be something I need to cultivate. Don’t be afraid of not knowing how to. If I don’t understand something, I can ask fellow practitioners.”
So I took on this task and learned from other practitioners in the same project. In this environment, I went through many xinxing tests, from the internal ticket team and the external ticket sellers.
During the learning period, I noticed some processes needed improvement so I talked to another ticket office coordinator. He said we had to discuss this issue with the entire ticketing team. At the team meeting, I listed several processes that needed improvement and discussed with the team one by one. Team members had some feedback, but generally they didn’t seem very enthusiastic about my suggestions.
Some members stopped coming to the ticket office after the meeting. I was alone at the ticket office one day and a customer called to buy tickets and wanted to pick them up within a short time.
The practitioner who was used to printing the tickets had not come yet. Another more experienced ticket office attendant had not shown up either. I had to learn the entire process on my own. A practitioner working on another project helped me to use the computer to issue, correct, and change tickets. When all the tickets were printed, I hurried to verify them with the order and had them ready before the customer came in.
On another occasion, a customer placed an order for 150 tickets. I was stressed. I reviewed the tickets and the order again and again to make sure there was no error. My heart beat faster and faster and my hands were shaking and sweating.
Then I remembered that Master said,
“...When disciples have ample righteous thoughtsMaster has the power to turn back the tide”(“The Master-Disciple Bond,” Hong Yin II)
My hands stopped shaking. I told myself not to be nervous as Master was watching over me, and I am just physically cooperating. Everything is really done by Master. I finally issued the tickets smoothly.
After this matter, the coordinator asked me to look inward as to why other practitioners were no longer willing to work at the ticket office. I looked inward but couldn’t find any fault of mine.
Master said,
“I think both of those things are related to your cultivation. It’s either to help you eliminate karma or to help you improve your xinxing. So you have to look at them in the right way.” (Teachings at the Conference in New Zealand)
So I called every practitioner who was volunteering at the ticket office and told them that I was here to practice and not to be their leader. If I’d done anything wrong, I asked them to please bear with me. I would follow the rules and would also correct myself if needed.
I noticed that I had the attachment of fear and worried too much about things going wrong. However, we are all practitioners that could tolerate each other and move forward.
Year after year, the ticket process and payment methods often change. It was easy for me to adapt to the changes but some practitioners selling tickets couldn’t adapt easily and held negative thoughts toward me. I felt wronged and often cried on the way home. I thought, “I am here to cultivate and save people, why am I being wronged? When I was not cultivating, others praised me, and I rarely heard anyone speak out against me. Why am I criticized when I take on this volunteer work?”
On another occasion, a practitioner wanted to return some tickets after the show was over. I refused and insisted that tickets couldn’t be returned after the show. We had a small confrontation. I remembered Master’s teaching at that moment.
Master said,
“While working, your tone of voice, your kindheartedness, and your reasoning can change a person’s heart, whereas commands never could!” (“Clearheadedness,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
Only then did I realize that it was Master who used this method to enlighten me and let me see that I had deep and stubborn attachments of competitiveness, unreasonableness, and unforgivingness.
Several years passed. Fellow practitioners selling tickets gradually understood that the adjustments were necessary to have the ticketing system reflect the real-time sales situation, so that every sentient being can be saved as expected. By that time, the ticket office had matured and the process became more professional. A practitioner more computer savvy took over as the ticketing attendant.
Many years into cultivation practice, I always felt I couldn’t find my attachments. Fellow practitioners also pointed out that I didn’t know how to look within.
I was reciting the Fa one day. Master said,
“A person has many tests to overcome in the course of cultivation, one reason being, from the time of birth on, a person ceaselessly forms notions of every sort as he comes to an understanding of human society, and attachments result.” (“The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress III)
I began to look inward for what notions I had formed. I started with my life before cultivation. I had always been considered a very good child. This gave me the notions such as zealotry, a desire to be envied, being better than others, self-righteousness, showing off, and a lot more other human notions.
Suddenly, I discovered that these notions gathered together to form a very stubborn attachment of pride, which filled me with arrogance. I always wondered why I couldn’t develop compassion. It turned out to be suppressed by my pride.
I felt a great sense of relief in my heart, a feeling I never had before, when I found the origin of my attachments. I realized that I had to change myself before I could try to change others. At this point, I found that I’d finally learned to look inward, and I finally knew how to use this magic tool of looking inward.
I want to thank Master for his compassionate salvation, teaching me the magic tool of looking inward, protecting me along the way of cultivation, constantly enlightening me, and giving me a chance to be reborn so that I am able to clear away the confusion and pass tests one after another.
Thank you, Master, and fellow practitioners!
(Presented at the 2021 Taiwan Falun Dafa Cultivation Experience Sharing Conference)