(Minghui.org) Ms. Li Li was a native of Heilongjiang Province. She had a difficult life, losing her mother to an unknown illness in 1992 and her brother to a brain tumor in 1994. She married in 1981 and was a victim of domestic violence throughout most of her marriage. Her husband had extramarital affairs, eventually divorced her in 1996, and soon married the widow of her late brother.
Despite the hardships and heartbreaks, Ms. Li held herself to Falun Dafa’s principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, and even her ex-husband protected her after the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) began the persecution of Falun Dafa in 1999. A TV reporter, a friend of his, intended to interview him and have him blame Falun Dafa for breaking up his marriage to Ms. Li. He firmly turned down his friend’s request for an interview. While Ms. Li was being detained for her faith, he kept her Falun Dafa books in a safe place. After she was released but forced to live away from home to avoid further arrests, he took good care of their son.
Ms. Li later died as a result of the persecution. This 10-part series was her own account of her story.
***
Although I experienced misery and unhappiness, I remained cheerful, and was kind to those that mistreated me.
(Continue from Part 9)
It so happened that the divorce was finalized on April 6, and we received the approval for our transfer on the ninth. Our divorce caused a sudden storm in the college, people were talking about it, and it became a hot topic.
At that time, public opinion was focused on me. The dean of the college (later retired) had an intense conflict with Lu at the time, and he thought it would be a little easier if Lu could transfer elsewhere. But, it was not that simple. After the divorce, Lu offered to resign. The dean was angry with Lu and turned his anger on me. He forced me to look for a job, and said that the college would not keep me. Lu also agreed to have me find my place.
I took the phone book that the dean threw at me and started to look for jobs, but there was no job I could apply for. Even recent college graduates couldn’t find jobs, let alone a woman, divorced, with a child, and had no apartment. It was particularly hard to find a place to rent.
I thought there was something for me to enlighten to on this matter – why did I hit the wall everywhere? I began to consider these complications carefully, and felt that the handling of this situation was a bit backward. Lu had filed for the divorce, and after the divorce I was an independent individual who makes her own decisions. However, why did I still let him make decisions for me? I shouldn’t move at all.
So I wrote a letter to the Party committee of the college, stating the reasons why I should not leave the college. First, before the divorce, I was married to Lu, and his job changes directly determined where I would go. It was reasonable and legitimate to transfer with him. However, it was different after the divorce. I was no longer associated with him, and there was no question of transferring with him. Second, the transfer of work assignment was proposed by Lu, not me, and now there was a new change in the situation. I truthfully presented my opinion to the Party committee of the college: I did not want to transfer my job, and was willing to be a good employee for the college. I also approached the dean to talk about my idea.
Even though the dean was upset, after he reviewed the feedback from my colleagues, he believed that I was a good candidate for the faculty. After discussion with the committee, they agreed to keep me. The college leader told me that the salary that was deducted during the transition won’t be reimbursed. I had no objection. Regarding the apartment, I told Lu that I won’t move out, but he could feel free to take whatever he wanted. He had to rent for himself.
There were all sorts of comments regarding us. Some said that I faked the divorce to get an apartment; or it was due to practicing Falun Gong. Since Lu blamed me for the divorce, many coworkers were sympathetic toward him. I did not take the criticism to heart, and thought that others would know me gradually. That was how I passed the test of divorce.
My divorce was not as bad as I thought, but my father and sisters had a hard time handling it. My father felt hurt and upset, and clearly stated that it was unacceptable. My sisters started a verbal war with Lu on the phone, and showed that they were also upset with me. My father called me, and I realized that he was heartbroken, “You are such a wonderful person, why do you have to go through this? But do not worry, it is not your fault, Xiao Li. You did not let us down.”
Lu also felt the pressure of public opinion at this time, he blamed me, “Your family treats me like this, why don’t you come out and say something? It’s because you never say anything good about me to them, that’s why they are like this.” In fact, I have not told my family anything that happened between us, whether it was good or bad. Lu could not handle the stress, and demanded that I mediate these conflicts. My attitude was that, I stayed out of either side and didn’t say anything, but I treated everyone the same. I made sure that they knew, especially my family, that I was fine now, and let them see that I was not hurt in any way by the divorce, and that I was better off.
For a while, Lu and my sisters became like enemies. He and my sister-in-law both wanted me to say one thing – that I had given my consent to their marriage. I told them, “ Divorce is my business, you have to have my consent; marriage is your own business, even parents can not arrange it, so how can I have any control over this issue?”
Lu purchased a house near me, after they got married, they still came to my place often. Whenever they came, I would make dumplings for them, I had nothing to complain about. A fellow practitioner came to visit me from Changchun, she commented: “Oh, Li Li, it is so hard, you cultivated so hard.” I did not feel so myself.
I think there must be a karmic relationship between Lu and me. In this life, I felt bitter and that he had created so many troubles for me. However, if I looked back at my history, I couldn’t tell how I have treated him in my previous lives, and I may have done worse and more terrible things. Master has already eliminated so much karma, bore great suffering for me, I only endured this little difficulty and it was nothing. I don’t blame Lu at all – we cannot be husband and wife, but we can still be friends.
When I let go of my heart, I was able to handle relationships that seemed unbelievable to others, and everyone calmed down. My father and sisters stopped holding a grudge against Lu and his wife, and also considering that they were still relatives, because my sister-in-law’s aunt is my stepmother, and Lu’s current daughter is my niece, we are still in the circle of relatives.
After the relationship improved, Lu told me his innermost thoughts. He said. “This time you can do your Dafa work. I can’t control you anymore. There will be someone at a higher level to do so in the future.”
I went out once with his family for dinner, Lu told me, “Do you know that all the people we associate with are here for your sake? We used to be husband and wife, but now we have another kind of relationship, and it is still for you.”
He asked his daughter, “Who will you be grateful for?” The girl replied, “My aunt.” Lu responded, “Yes, without your aunt, you would not have anything you have now,” said Lu.
Many of the things Lu said surprised me – for so many years he had actually helped me cultivate as my family member, although he himself didn’t really understand this. Lu’s entire new family has been very good to me, and Lu’s wife (my former sister-in-law) respects me and knows that my heart is on cultivation, and I am walking on the right path.
Lu’s attitude toward Dafa was relatively good. After the persecution started on July 20, 1999, a journalist friend of him who worked for the Beijing television (TV) Station, wanted to interview him, and suggested that they make a rumor about our divorce, falsely accusing Dafa, but Lu refused.
He kept the Dafa books for me when I was detained in the detention center, and he cheerfully handed them to me when I got out. I commended him for his good deeds. After I left home, the couple took care of my son and endured great stress to protect me. I think nothing in the past matters, only a single good thought toward Dafa can determine their future, and I wish them a bright future.
(This concludes the first half of this series. The second half may have to wait until after the persecution of Falun Gong by the Chinese Communist Party ends.)