(Minghui.org) I have been producing truth-clarification materials for over a decade. One day, during group Fa study I shared my thoughts on what I do. They needed to know that “practitioners who don’t participate in this project won’t understand the hardship involved.”
I continued to tell them about my experiences over the years. But later, I realized I was attached to my personal feelings, and shouldn’t have talked about my troubles so much. Cultivation is to endure hardship, and I should focus on how to cooperate with fellow practitioners better to improve the project.
One of the problems I encountered had to do with funding for the material production site. I wanted to cover all of the expenses, but many practitioners tried to donate. When I politely declined their offers, it upset them. I worried about this for a long time. It was my attachment to seeking fame and virtue for wanting to pay for everything. From then on, when practitioners offered to donate money, I accepted their contribution.
Safety was also an issue. Practitioners aware of and visiting the material production site should be kept to a minimum. However, over time many practitioners and even some of their family members knew of our material site, which became very risky. After realizing this, and informing others of the risks, everyone paid attention to guarding their speech in relation to the site. We also took measures to enhance security.
Another example was meeting practitioners by appointment to deliver the materials. One time, I left early from an important family gathering to meet a practitioner. I was punctual, but the other practitioner didn’t show up. I reminded myself not to bear the attachment of resentment, otherwise I could be the next one who misses the appointment.
I often reminded myself that nobody is perfect. The next day, both of us went to the meeting place on time, having developed a strong sense of responsibility.
I appreciate all the help and support provided by other practitioners. It was their cooperation that greatly encouraged me, and helped me cultivate safely.
For a long time, I instinctively turned on the computer after I woke up, and wouldn’t turn it off until after dinner. I studied the Fa and did the exercises only in the evening. Thus, I had completed all the tasks of producing materials before reading. However, I couldn’t concentrate on Fa study, and didn't study the Fa enough. I felt my xinxing had not improved for a long time.
During the past two years, practitioners have also noticed my problem. They tried to help reduce my tasks, so I could have more time to improve in my cultivation. So, my cultivation state did improve.
Before I improved my xinxing through Fa study, I often experienced some problems. For example, when I first started making materials, I made a timetable daily, listing the things that needed to be done and when. But over time, I became attached to the process. It was as if I was just trying to finish the task, instead of doing something holy to help save sentient beings.
A good yardstick to measure myself was to look at my first reaction when encountering a problem. If my first thought was to be upset for being delayed and having to repair the machine again, instead of regretting to have lost time needed for saving sentient beings. Also, it was upsetting for being reminded to hurrying up to look inward. Then, it was my human notions reacting rather than a cultivator’s thoughts based on the Fa.
Now, through improved Fa study, I encountered less and less problems and my xinxing has become more stable.
During this special historical period, we have to deal with machines. When they first arrive at my home, I talk to them, explain their mission and nature of the work, and encourage them to work hard.
Usually the machines try their best to work well, and they have put forth many supernatural performances. But why do the same machines have different life-spans in the hands of different practitioners? This had troubled me for a long time.
Now, I understand that the user’s xinxing directly affects the results. If the user has a strong energy field, he or she can help the machines assimilate to the Fa, and improve the quality of the machine’s parts in this dimension. It can solve the machine’s problems with supernatural abilities. But, since I had not cultivated diligently, I could only solve problems using everyday methods, and try my best to carry out the maintenance through regular means.
I also noticed that the instability of my mood can also affect the machines. Another thing we also neglect is that we often think how much we have done, and forget the machines’ contribution. Now, I always encourage them when I turn them on, and thank them before I turn them off.
The most insufficient thing for me is time. I only went to the city three times over these past years. I went there to take care of a hospitalized family member, to sweep the tomb on Tomb-Sweeping Day, and to attend the funeral.
Many parks, amusement parks, shopping malls and cinemas have been built over these years, but I had never visited them.
I have been trying my best to keep a low profile for safety reasons. I try not to visit relatives and even try to avoid visiting neighbors. My relatives and friends are concerned why I stay at home all the time, and don’t understand what I am busy with.
Sometimes I was so busy working during the day that I missed the sunshine, as the day slipped by without my noticing it. To be able to take a stroll around the yard was a luxury for me, something I hadn’t enjoyed for many years.
Occasionally, the feeling of loneliness crept in. When it did, I listened to songs composed by Dafa practitioners, and all would be good again.
It was my own choice to give up everyday amusements, because my mission is to help Master Li Hongzhi (Falun Dafa’s founder) save sentient beings.