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Cultivate Away My Tendency to Complain about and Resent Others

Oct. 5, 2021 |   By an overseas Falun Dafa practitioner

(Minghui.org) A fellow practitioner once arranged things poorly and made my job difficult. One thought popped up: “If I had known it would be this way, I wouldn’t even have agreed to help.”

Master taught us:

“Some people express that they think they’re quite pure, when in fact that’s not the case; they have all kinds of extraneous, distracted thoughts and many things that were formed postnatally. Even what you consider to be a very simple thought might—from its starting point to its cause, or the things that accompany it—be impure.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2013 Greater New York Fa Conference”)

“Then think about it: could the human society, and everything that we can see, exist by chance? Even each Dafa disciple's every move, every action, every word, and even the questions you ponder, none of it is that simple. In the future, you’ll see that everything was very carefully arranged. But it’s not me who arranged this, it's the old forces who did.” (“Fa-Lecture at the Conference in Florida, U.S.A.,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. II)

I suddenly became alert. I realized that my thought of “If I knew it would be this way, I wouldn’t even have agreed to help” wasn’t in line with the Fa. It just appeared in my mind without my thinking things through, so it might not even have come from me! In cultivation, it is crucial to distinguish where our thoughts came from – whether they were from our original true self or postnatal notions. 

From that particular thought of mine, I realized that what I cared about was my convenience and my loss and gain when I complained about others. I lacked forbearance and kindness. I used my standard to measure others, instead of using the Fa to measure myself.

Deeper Cause

Part of cultivation is to negate the old forces’ arrangements. Only when we stay unmoved in the face of things, can we truly see the essence of the matter at hand. Complaints about and resentments towards others are only surface reactions, which could be triggered by many other attachments, including those to one’s own interests, comfort, reputation, and face, as well as jealousy.

Master taught us:

“It’s cultivation, so what gods look at is a person’s heart, not whether he planned some activity thoroughly or comprehensively. Gods don’t look at that. And when things are not very comprehensive, they are in fact happy, for they want to see who among you will make things right when an imperfection is found. That’s because your cultivation is a part of everything you do. What they look at is your cultivation! It’s not like we only study [the Fa] but don’t use it. Whether you proactively cultivate or are just passively following along reflects whether you are cultivating.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2014 San Francisco Fa Conference”)

I realized that complaining is not simply a matter of failure to cultivate your speech, but also concerns a most fundamental issue of whether you want to eliminate your attachments or not. How can you improve and elevate if you always look for faults in others? A complaint might turn into resentment after a while, and one’s cultivation will unknowingly slack off and fail to improve. But if you complain less, you can look inward more. This is also the principle of mutual generation and mutual inhibition.

When a cultivator is constantly cultivating oneself, one can continue to move forward on the path of cultivation and continuously assimilate to the new cosmos. When we see fellow practitioners who fail to do well in some regard, we can’t simply complain about it and demand them to improve. We can only make some suggestions and persuade them to do well. But if the person does not realize his own problems, there is nothing others can do.

When I realized this, I understand Master’s Fa teaching even more deeply:

“A person’s good side can’t be seen anymore, as it has been separated. What you see will always be the side that has not been cultivated yet. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a compassionate heart or should look at people in rigid ways.” (“What is a Dafa Disciple,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. XI)

Our Mental Power

An American psychiatrist conducted an experiment to study the influence of one’s mind intent on one’s health. He used an instrument to measure the vibration frequency in the human body. He said that all the sick people he saw had low vibration frequencies associated with pain, resentment, and frustration. When one is inundated with negative thoughts, they aren’t only harming themselves, but also affect the surrounding magnetic field. Those are low vibration frequencies and also the cause of cancer, heart disease, and various diseases.

Those who have high vibration frequencies are usually kind, caring, loving, and supportive. They are peaceful and content with their lives. Their magnetic field influences the surrounding environment and makes it harmonious as well.

When complaining achieves nothing, one becomes apathetic and pessimistic. One may stop complaining verbally but still can’t let go of it. It will deplete our positive and righteous energy and it’s not the state of a cultivator. Moreover, if all one thinks are negative thoughts such as accusations, complaints, and resentment, there will be no positive factors – whatever one says will not carry righteous energy and things will not be handled properly.

One fellow practitioner once asked me to talk to our local coordinator to resolve the misunderstanding between them. I wondered why he’d turn to me for help since I wasn’t involved in it. It was their business after all. But I changed my mind later on. I should help with a positive mentality. I went and explained things clearly and also looked for shortcomings on my part. Things were resolved well. 

Eliminating Attachments Is the Key

Sometimes I wonder why we could not stop complaining even though we knew that we should not complain or have negative thoughts. One might feel hopeless, vulnerable, and numb when it feels so hard to make a breakthrough. Now I understand that if we only want to suppress the negative mindset, without really understanding why one wants to eliminate it and the negative effects it has on our cultivation, it is hard to really change ourselves, and the negative thoughts will still come back when one encounters things. 

Master taught us:

“Let me put it this way. The requirements for a Dafa disciple are high—higher than those of any other cultivation setting. In form it’s not that strict, but the standards and requirements for your cultivation are high. It’s a problem if you fail to recognize your own mistakes, just as it’s a problem if you fail to see the strong attachments you might have. And when you do become aware of them, you definitely should, as a Dafa disciple, address them, of course. And that is cultivation.” 

“The requirements for a Dafa disciple are high—higher than those of any other cultivation setting.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2015 New York Fa Conference”)

I now feel deeply that it was speaking to me. In the past, I wasn’t even aware that I was wrong when complaining about others’ inefficiency in doing things. I thought my complaint was for the good of the project.

Because we cultivate in society, if we do not measure ourselves against the Fa, we can be easily influenced by ordinary people, and still feel satisfied that we are better than them. Ordinary people might be complaining every day, and it’s becoming commonplace in society. A while ago, I heard a colleague say that she never heard me complain about things when so-and-so was always complaining about something. At that time, I realized that it was important to cultivate ourselves. Non-practitioners are quietly watching us, so are divine beings.

Now when I have negative thoughts or dissatisfaction with fellow practitioners or my colleagues, I will remind myself: “Do you still want to cultivate?” With this thought, all negative thoughts would stop immediately and then I would look inward for my own problems. 

Once, I asked a coordinator to handle something. After seeing that she hadn’t dealt with it after a few days, a thought came to my mind: “It would only take a few seconds to complete such a simple task, and why hasn’t she done anything? How much longer will she drag it out?” When I became aware of this thought, I immediately realized my problem and stopped this negative thought, and sent a text message to kindly remind her to handle this matter.

She fixed the problem right away after receiving my reminder. I searched deeper. I realized that I had the mentality of jealousy as well: in my mind, the coordinators should do better, and they should not rely on others to remind them of things to be done. When they do not do things well, I would have negative thoughts immediately. This mentality is of course not right, just like what Master mentioned in his Fa teachings:

““You’re Employee of the Month and you’re so good at your job, you should come to work early and go home late. Why don’t you do all this work? You’re doing so well, and we’re not good enough...” People use biting sarcasm. Even being a good person is hard.” (The Seventh Talk, Zhuan Falun)

After cultivating for so many years, if I still hold onto “elementary school text books,” I would never improve and elevate in my cultivation that requires “college textbooks.” Now I feel that I am able to look at problems from a new starting point and perspective, and no longer use the past standards to measure things. Only when I keep improving my xinxing level and reach the standard of the Fa, can I keep reaching new heights on my cultivation path.

This is my understanding at my level, and please kindly point out shortcomings.

Editor’s note: This article only represents the author’s understanding in their current cultivation state meant for sharing among practitioners so that we can “Compare with one another in study, in cultivation.” (“Solid Cultivation,” Hong Yin