(Minghui.org) I moved from China over a year ago, and five months ago I joined the RTC platform. I've had time to reflect on my cultivation and I'd like to share my cultivation journey with you.
I began practicing Falun Dafa along with my family before 1999. Seven of us read the Fa together every night. I was very happy whenever it was my turn to read. Dafa was deeply imprinted in my young mind.
We did the exercises together at the park at 4 a.m. every day. On weekends, we went to the busy downtown areas and demonstrated the exercises and told people about Falun Dafa. I attended large-scale group practice and experience sharing conferences regularly held in stadiums.
I later attended school far from home. I gradually stopped reading the teachings, but I still remembered what was taught in Zhuan Falun, Essentials for Further Advancement, and Hong Yin.
The peaceful cultivation environment in China was shattered in July 1999. I personally witnessed the persecution of my family member and experienced the pressure from the rest of my family and society. I was young and terrified.
It was not until I got older that I realized how much pressure my fellow practitioners were up against at that time, and how remarkable they were! I have infinite admiration every time I think of them.
At school, I did not sign my name on the banner slandering Dafa, and my teacher did not like it. My family member clarified the facts to her. A few teachers made derogatory remarks in class about my practicing Dafa.
Because of my excellent performance in all areas at school, many students had a positive view of Falun Dafa, and some students told their parents, “Her grades are so good because her family practices Falun Dafa.”
There were very few opportunities for me to attend group Fa-study and exercises at that time. As soon as I started going to school, I was immersed in the big dye vat of everyday people. Not able to keep up with Fa-study, I was slowly pulled into the personal struggle and pursuit of everyday people’s recognition that pervades China.
On the other hand, I was so focused on my school work that I temporarily forgot to worry about the persecution. After entering boarding school, I devoted myself to schoolwork, and believed that my academic achievements were a result of my hard work.
I fell into a vicious circle of personal struggle, the pursuit of recognition, competitiveness, and jealousy. I only did some Fa-study and exercises during winter and summer vacations.
During that time, Master Li (Falun Dafa's founder) gave me many hints in my dreams. I often forgot to do homework, or I failed to answer a lot of questions in exams.
Unfortunately, I did not take these hints.
I knew my cultivation level was dropping, and for a long time I dared not to look at Master’s photo, or read Master’s articles about the terrible consequences that Dafa disciples would face if they didn’t do well.
More than a decade flew by. I achieved my so-called “ideals” and reached my personal goals again and again, only to find that pursuit was a bottomless pit. When I woke up and looked back, I realized I missed everything. I gained nothing but a nice resume.
Just like Master said,
Lost in a Painting
A young man was he, full of aspirationsHe sought to emulate great men of yore,those pillars of the countryWhen later he returned to his hometowngreat renown was his to enjoyBut is that why he is on this earth?
Returningto Cultivation
Master gave me an opportunity to study in Europe, and at the same time, return to Dafa.
While looking for practitioners in Europe, I practiced the exercises and read the teachings by myself for nearly ten months. I visited many cities, including famous tourist spots, but I didn’t find any practitioners. I didn’t find any information about local practice sites.
On Chinese New Year’s Eve of 2019, as I was passing by the local theater, I saw the big Shen Yun poster from far away. I was so excited that I could see Shen Yun in person in my city!
I went to buy two tickets for the third show but was told only two tickets were left for the first show. My emotions and thoughts welled up: Indeed, the time, location, and audience for every Shen Yun performance have long been arranged!
From then on, I was able to spot Shen Yun’s posters from time to time. Each time I felt very proud! The small city was completely immersed in Dafa’s grace, and the little me had finally returned to Dafa.
I began studying the Fa conscientiously every day, as if quenching my thirst. I couldn’t wait to study the Fa and read Minghui’s articles. Although I remembered some parts of Zhuan Falun, I had not truly understood it.
Every lecture took me two to three hours to finish. I absorbed every sentence. I read and pondered and looked forward to reading the next lecture the next day. I finally understood what it was like to first obtain Dafa – an experience often talked about by other practitioners. I studied the Fa with my heart, so I often enlightened to the Fa's principles.
Exercise Five was never a problem for me when I was little, because I could sit in full lotus for two or three consecutive hours during group Fa-study back then. But now I didn’t expect the pain in my legs to become unbearable at forty minutes, to the point where my teeth chattered and my body trembled.
In addition, my husband helped improve my xinxing by berating me every morning while I was meditating. I was in physical and mental pain. Sentences of Dafa would occur to me one after another, encouraging me to endure. Two or three months later, the sitting meditation became a lot easier.
In these ten months, I experienced three heart-wrenching xinxing tests which directly targeted my most stubborn attachments. The first test was targeting the attachment to fame - I took on a research project but had no idea what to do. It felt as if my knowledge dried up, just like Master said,
“While people often claim that their scientific pursuits are to ‘improve quality of life,’ it is technological competition that drives them.” (“On Dafa,” Essentials For Further Advancement)
When I searched inward, I found what really worried me was not the research project itself, but the fear of others’ looking down on me and thinking I was incompetent. I was afraid of my reputation being damaged. This was targeting my attachment to ego and saving face.
The second test was about the conflicts I had with everyday people, which targeted my competitiveness and jealousy.
The third repeated xinxing tests came from my husband as I tried to clarify the facts to him. These tests were targeting my emotion, patience, and steadfastness to Dafa.
Each of these three major hurdles was heart-wrenching. With the power of Dafa, I was able to look inside, identify my attachments and reject them. When I looked back, it was indeed: “After passing the shady willow trees, there will be bright flowers and another village ahead!” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)
At the end of October 2019, I officially began merging into the big current of Fa-rectification of overseas Dafa disciples. At a Sunday practice site in a park I met a practitioner couple who came from mainland China a few months before.
Their sincerity and kindheartedness helped me join an online Fa-study group that day. In the group environment, I learned a lot from fellow practitioners. I saw my shortcomings, and resolved my problem of slacking off.
When the CCP virus (coronavirus) broke out, the others shared their understanding with me: Master’s Fa-rectification has come to an end, and the time to save people is running out. They encouraged me to join the RTC platform to call people in China and clarify the facts and save them.
Master also hinted to me in my dreams that the situation was very bad, and I had a mission to save people. In one dream, I didn’t take the initiative to save people, but the people around me couldn’t wait to find materials in my backpack. In another dream, I only scored 12 points on an exam. I understood these dreams were telling me that I did not do the three things enough, and I did not clarify the facts well.
When I first joined the RTC platform, I only listened to the other practitioners making phone calls. I had never clarified the facts to strangers before and I was not good at speaking.
I participated in RTC platform training and collected some materials for persuading people to withdraw from the three Communist organizations. I memorized some talking points about Dafa, and I learned a lot of tips.
Practitioners all have their own styles in clarifying the facts. At the beginning, I just wanted to imitate the others. Later, I discovered that the words spoken by each practitioner are related to the practitioner’s own personality, experience, and energy field. Their tone and speed are inseparable. If I read the same script, I might not achieve the same result.
Practitioners’ training, help, and experience sharing gave me inspiration and confidence. This is definitely something I could not achieve on my own, and I sincerely thank the other practitioners!
My xinxing has improved, and I gained a deeper understanding of the Fa-principles and the significance of saving people via truth-clarification.
At the beginning, I focused on persuading people to withdraw from the three Communist organizations, and I avoided mentioning Falun Dafa. After sharing my experiences with fellow practitioners, I finally understood that helping people understand the truth of Dafa is fundamental.
Master also told us,
“Dafa disciples should not allow themselves to get ungrounded by any of this. Stick to the fundamentals, and you will be able to see the upheaval that’s taking place in the proper light.”(Stay Rational, Team Yellow Translation)
When I focused on telling people about Falun Dafa, the results were very good. When people developed a positive understanding of Dafa, they naturally agreed to withdraw from the three Communist organizations. I could go on to talk about atheism or CCP’s evil, and the effects were very good too.
One day, a gentleman answered the phone. As soon as he heard me talking about withdrawing from the three Communist organizations, he became very emotional and began saying how good the Communist Party is, how bad the United States is, and how the U.S. tried to shift the blame to China, and so on.
I tried my best to clarify the facts to him, but he wouldn’t calm down.
I begged Master in my heart, “Master, I really don’t know how to clarify the facts to him. Please help me.” At this time, my mouse was hovering over the story of the, “Red-Eyed Stone Lion”. I said, “Sir, let's not talk about the U.S. Instead, please let me tell you a story.”
I told him the story of “Red-Eyed Stone Lion,” and asked, “Sir, do you understand?”
He said, “Oh, it is up to a person to believe it or not.” He said he understood, and I quickly helped him quit the three Communist organizations.
In another phone call I talked to an old gentleman. As soon as he heard that I was a practitioner, he began to say how he believes in the CCP and how good the CCP is, and so on.
I told him I wasn’t asking him to go against the Party, nor trying to make him practice Falun Dafa. I told him the reason many people held bad thoughts about Dafa was because they were fooled by the self-immolation in Tiananmen Square. I told him it was staged by the CCP to frame Falun Dafa.
After hearing the truth about the self-immolation, the gentleman suddenly said that he knew a lot about the CCP and how it fakes things and frames people, and that he hated the CCP. He went on for five or six minutes without stopping.
After I gradually understood the reason why we do truth-clarification, my tone improved. A few months ago, when my husband was listening to me talking on the phone, he said he was anxious.
But now, when he hears me speaking he's pleasantly surprised. He said, “Your energy field is really different from before. You’re firm and compassionate now.” I was very happy.
When the other practitioners phone people and clarify the facts about Dafa, they tell people their personal experiences. Some had diseases resolved after practicing; some witnessed their family members receiving blessings after they began practicing.
I was very moved to hear these touching experiences, because they played a big part in helping people understand Dafa. I could also feel the steadfastness of these practitioners.
I didn’t have this kind of before-and-after experience to share. What happened to me were just ordinary things. I began practicing when I was a child. People thought my good health was the result of a good physique; In academics, I thought being more diligent could make up for my not being bright, so I spent a lot of time and energy on studying. I always attributed my academic achievements to my hard work and diligence.
When I thought about this carefully I seemed to have a serious problem of not believing in Master and the Fa. These thoughts reflected my lack of steadfastness in cultivation during my school years, which resulted in my separation from Dafa.
After I had a thorough understanding of this I felt enlightened and I understood everything I had has come from Dafa. When I phoned people I told them about the benefits I received from Dafa. Although my experiences were not dramatic, people can also feel the beauty of Dafa from my sincerity, and the results were very good.
Recently, due to the pandemic, more and more practitioners have joined the RTC platform, and training them takes a lot of time and energy. Due to the lack of manpower, I became a helper in training.
I very much cherish and appreciate the cultivation environment provided by the RTC platform. I also hope I can make good phone calls to save more sentient beings during this special period.
Looking back on my path of cultivation, because I was fascinated by the fame and fortune of everyday people and I could not extricate myself for many years, I have many regrets and losses that I could not make up for.
At the last moment of assisting Master to do Fa-rectification, I am grateful to Master for calling me back so I have the opportunity to merge into the current of Fa-rectification and fulfill my prehistoric vows. I must seize the time to cultivate myself, save sentient beings, and do the three things well!
Thank you, our Great Benevolent Master!
Thank you, my fellow practitioners for your selfless help!
(Presented during the 2020 Telephone-Calling Group Online Fa Conference)