(Minghui.org) I have cultivated Falun Dafa for 26 years and have experienced a great deal on my cultivation path. The more human attachments I had, the more tribulations I had to encounter. I’d like to share about the tribulations that I suffered, physically and otherwise. I hope that I can understand the Fa more clearly, completely negate the old forces’ persecution, and inspire other practitioners.
One day prior to July 20, 1999, I brought my cassette player to the practice site. Because the persecution was about to start, the atmosphere was a bit tense, and I was the only one there. I was going through illness karma elimination and had not eaten for three days, plus I had come down with a fever and felt terrible. When I was holding the wheel above my head, I recalled what Master Li Hongzhi said:
"To consummate yourself, reaping Buddhahood,Let joy be found in hardship.”(“Tempering the Will,” Translation Version A, Hong Yin)
However, I was very weak and could barely lift my arms. I thought, “Master, how come your disciple doesn’t feel joy?” Right then, the miracle happened, my entire arms began to float up, and I suddenly felt very refreshed, and I no longer felt any discomfort. I became teary-eyed, for Master had removed a lot of my karma. Although I hadn’t eaten for three days, I was still energetic, and I was able to help another person push his vehicle uphill.
After the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) launched the persecution of Falun Dafa, I went to Beijing to appeal to the government in November 1999. I was illegally detained for a month. In 2001, because of handing out truth-clarification DVDs to my students, I was reported by their parents. The police arrested me, and I was taken to a forced labor camp for one year. I was illegally sentenced to five years of imprisonment in 2004. Every time when I was subjected to the persecution mentally and physically, I almost reached the limit of my endurance.
I only knew about personal cultivation, always considered that it was my xinxing not reaching the Fa standards, and karma that brought on tribulations, whereas I had a very vague understanding towards the Fa-rectification cultivation. When I was in prison, I would often recite and study the Fa. Then, I realized that I had always acquiesced and passively endured the evil persecution, or reluctantly accepted it.
After I realized that, I began to rectify my every thought. The more I looked inward, the more issues I found in my thinking. They were negative thoughts, depressed feelings, helpless acceptance of the so-called reality, including interference from external messages, and how I judged things. If I kept going deeper, I realized that as long as I wasn’t on the Fa my thoughts would align with the beings of the old cosmos.
The beings from the old cosmos don’t know that a Fa exists in the universe, nor know that there existed the concept of validating the Fa. However, all the issues that our practitioners face today are the state of the universe amidst the degeneration and destruction stage, including deteriorating human morality. However, only Master and Dafa can resolve all these issues, whereas any being in the old cosmos, including Dafa practitioners, can’t do anything about that as they lack the wisdom and ability. Therefore, whatever a practitioner runs into, only by validating Dafa, with the mindset of believing in Master and Dafa, can one resolve the problems at the root.
Master said:
“You must remember this: Cultivation itself is not painful—the key lies in your inability to let go of ordinary human attachments. Only when you are about to let go of your reputation, interests, and feelings will you feel pain.” (“True Cultivation,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
“Some people go by how they feel in practicing something. What does your feeling account for? It is nothing. The actual transformation process takes place in other dimensions and is extremely complicated and intricate. There is no margin for error. Just as with a precision instrument, if you add a foreign part to it, it will break down immediately.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)
Master’s words enlightened me. I said to Master: “Your disciple was terrible when it came to how much I understood your words, and how much I believed in them. Most of the time, I believed in my own feelings, the so-called reality, as opposed to what you said.” How to validate the Fa in our words and actions, and Master’s words being the truth in the universe, I knew very little.
Master said,
“‘Seeing is believing; no seeing, no believing.’ This is the view of an inferior person. Humans are lost in illusion and have generated a lot of karma. How could they see, with their original nature obscured? Enlightening comes before seeing. Cultivate your mind and eliminate your karma. Once your original nature comes forth you will be able to see.” (“Why One Cannot See,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
Master’s words shocked me, I became clearer on where I fell short and why I couldn’t validate the Fa.
When a person experienced a tribulation, suffered from illness karma, was under pressure, encountered all kinds of difficulties or discomfort feelings, and so on, it’s very hard to find one’s true self and nature. Perhaps that’s the reason why people are lost.
Dafa solves all miseries. When one’s thoughts are not on the Fa, unrighteous thoughts, human attachments, and notions bring about bad beings, which would end up isolating one’s main body on the surface from the Fa. When unrighteous factors accumulate more and more, it becomes difficult for one to find one’s true self and nature, and one ends up drifting further away from the Fa.
When I was studying the Fa at the Fa-study group, I appeared to have the symptoms of being exposed to poison gas. The pain was so severe that I couldn’t stand up, study the Fa, do the exercises, or send righteous thoughts. I began to think through everything. I knew clearly deep down that it was not Master’s, but the old forces’ arrangement.
But how to negate it? First of all, I had to maintain absolute clearheadedness and rationality. Then I began to think: “No matter who arranged it, who executed it, including all the beings participating in this arrangement, if you want to be saved, do not participate in persecuting Dafa practitioners. As no one is worthy of testing Dafa practitioners, no matter who did it, it’d be considered as a crime.”
At the same time, I found a human attachment and notion. When I faced continuous tribulations that were hard to endure, I lost my confidence, became hopeless or even desperate. I’d give in and surrender, so as to accept the persecution and arrangements by the old forces.
In fact, how painful it is or how big the tribulation is has nothing to do with whether one can break through the old forces’ arrangement or not. The key is that practitioners have put their relationship with the beings from the old cosmos incorrectly. The relationship between these two should be saving and being saved, as opposed to persecuting and being persecuted.
If one can’t balance well this relationship, one puts oneself into a position to be persecuted. After we balance well the relationship, beings from the old cosmos can be eliminated and not restrain us. As a Dafa practitioner, one can’t be manipulated by the old forces at will.
After I became clear, I became lighthearted. Then I said to the last being persecuting me: The big tribulation you arranged for me--didn’t you want to break my will, to make me lose my confidence in Master and Dafa, and acquiesce in your arrangement? I won't’ be fooled by you. Take back your ridiculous arrangement, otherwise for whatever you have done, you’d receive double retribution for it.
The difference between gods and humans only lies in one thought. The severe pain disappeared. The poison gas turned into harmless air and then passed out of my body, after which I felt very comfortable. That’s how I negated the old forces’ arrangement.
When our practitioners don’t pay attention to our thoughts in our day-to-day life, all kinds of human attachments will persist. Such a tribulation results in one not being diligent, and not holding oneself against higher standards at all times.
What are higher standards then? Perhaps one may not think about it seriously enough. It’s natural that every practitioner has different understandings of the Fa, but one must hold oneself to the highest standards.
My personal understanding is that people usually have a misunderstanding. They think that the higher the standards, the harder to reach. Yet what I have come to realize is just the opposite: the lower the standard, the bigger tribulation one brings to oneself and the more hardship one has to suffer. The higher the standards one uses, the more power of the Fa will display itself. As the Fa cultivates practitioners, what one wants is up to oneself.