(Minghui.org) I feel guilty when I slack off in my cultivation path. Falun Dafa gives me everything. If I am not assimilating to the Fa, what is there for me?
Master Li Hongzhi told us:
“... it was all for this affair that you came here! So you have no choice [but to do all of this well]; there is really no other way!” ( “2018 Fa Teaching Given in Washington, D.C.,” Team Yellow Translation)
I started to practice Falun Dafa in 1998. After the persecution started in 1999, I did not clarify the truth about Dafa out of fear and didn’t really know how to. I was getting ready to go to bed one night, when a practitioner asked me if I would like to distribute Falun Dafa brochures with her. I said I would.
My hand was trembling when I pushed the first brochure underneath a door. A police car passed us with its siren on. We were terrified, hid, and went straight home, even though we hadn’t finished distributing all the brochures. The next day we learned that two practitioners had been arrested for distributing fliers.
The tremendous pressure distressed me. Master was being slandered, Dafa was being framed, and practitioners were being persecuted. I felt sad, yet scared. Some of the local practitioners gave up Falun Dafa out of fear, which reduced the number of practitioners in my local area even further. But I never wavered in my belief in Dafa. No matter how terrible the situation or how rampant the evil became, I always told people that Falun Dafa was good and that I would never give up my faith.
I kept in contact with practitioners. I treasured Master’s new articles and any other Dafa materials that I could get. My heart felt calm when I got Master’s new lectures. I made up my mind to overcome my fear and step forward to validate the Fa.
We didn’t have any truth-clarification materials and didn’t know how to produce them at that time. So, I talked to my relatives, friends, and colleagues about Falun Dafa. Gradually I dared to talk to strangers. I went to the countryside to clarify the truth with my mother on several occasions.
I spent 2,000 yuan photocopying truth-clarification materials in 2001 and distributed them after work every day.
One day I passed by Wuhan and decided to stay there for one night so that I could finish putting up the posters I had with me. I didn’t bring my ID card for security reasons, so I was not able to rent a hotel room. I was wondering where to stay for the night when I heard someone calling me. She was my daughter’s good friend who studied in Wuhan. She invited me to stay at her apartment. Thank you, Master, for making such a good arrangement for me. I put up all the posters that night.
Two police officers were checking ID cards at the bus station the next morning when I got there. When the female officer asked me for my ID, I told her that I didn’t have it. She said nothing and went to check other people. I came across such situations many times. Master helped dissolve the tribulations and protected me all the time.
I bought a printer after I overcame my fear. I made Dafa materials and distributed them, and when local practitioners asked for the materials, I gave them some.
Master said:
“...if it weren’t for the Fa you would not have made it to where you are today. So cultivation is always first and foremost for a Dafa disciple, and this is especially so in the final phase.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2019 New York Fa Conference,” Team Yellow Translation)
What Master said was so true! I followed the Fa standards and have made it through to today even though I have stumbled on my cultivation path many times.
I was not on the Fa when I clarified the truth to people during the early days. Sometimes I validated myself instead of the Fa. I went to extremes and people couldn’t understand me. One of my colleagues was very angry after I talked to her and cursed at me. There were many people around at the time. I felt very embarrassed.
I looked within afterward. She actually helped me get rid of my attachments of saving face, wanting to be praised, not being able to accept criticism, and hating the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). I was actually like this coworker—stubborn and resentful.
Thus, I let go of those attachments. When clarifying the truth to people, I put myself in their shoes and looked within when I faced conflicts. I started the conversations with the topics they liked and was flexible so that they could accept what I said.
If I studied the Fa well and had a good cultivation state, people liked to listen to me when I clarified the truth to them. So I paid attention to studying the Fa and was in a good state. People easily accepted the truth when I talked to them with a happy heart. Many people thanked me. One young man shook my hands three times and said to me, “Thank you! You are a living goddess!”
One day I was going downstairs in high heels to attend group Fa study in my local area when my left leg pant caught in my right heel and I fell down several steps. Luckily my head was all right, but my hands and feet were injured and hurt. I couldn’t move. But I told myself that I was all right and couldn’t lie there. I asked Master to help me. I sat up slowly and noticed that my right hand was swollen, and there was a dent in my right calf. There was no blood, but I was covered in dust.
I stood up slowly and walked slowly from the third floor to my home on the fourth floor. I stood in front of Master’s photo and said: “Master, I was wrong today. I have two attachments. I have a strong attachment to sentimentality. I was too concerned with my daughter’s marriage.
“The second was my attachment to self-interest. The property agent told me to have 10,000 yuan ready to bribe some officials so that I could get my taxes lowered or exempted. I agreed. I was wrong and must rectify it. But I have to go to Fa study now. The others are waiting for me. I do not allow the old forces to persecute me, and they are not qualified to persecute me. Master, please strengthen me!”
I changed my clothes and went out. My feet hurt and I limped slowly. I realized that it was not right. I was a Falun Dafa practitioner and shouldn’t be like that. I communicated with my legs and told them that I shouldn’t walk like that. Immediately I stopped limping. I felt poorly and in low spirits, but I knew it was a false manifestation and was not concerned. I came across an old friend and persuaded her to withdraw from the CCP.
My right hand was swollen for a week and I couldn’t use if. My right foot hurt. I was a doctor and knew that my hand and foot were fractured. I was not concerned about it and did the three things as usual. I recovered quickly. My speedy recovery violated the notion of modern medicine. Falun Dafa is amazing.
One day I passed out when I was doing the second exercise. Why?
Master said:
“Whenever there is interference of one kind or another in qigong practice, you should look for reasons within yourself and determine what you still have not let go.” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)
I looked within and realized that I was not in line with the Fa.
I’d had an argument with a practitioner and didn’t behave like a cultivator. I didn’t look within and held onto my own notions. I was resentful and looked down on her. I listed my attachments on a paper. When I sent righteous thoughts, I cleared those attachments one by one.
When I saw her again, I realized that she did better than me. She was wronged. I apologized to her. She also admitted her mistakes. We shared honestly and both improved. I tried to adopt her ideas when I cooperated with her after that. I cooperated with her and let go of my selfishness.
Our school was going to select academic leaders in 2002. Once selected, they would get a bonus. My manager talked to me and asked which I preferred, to be the academic leader or Falun Dafa. I told him that I wanted Falun Dafa. He didn’t understand and called me foolish. He said that I could practice at home secretly. I told him that I practiced Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance and didn’t tell lies. I was not allowed to turn in the application for Academic Leader.
One day when I was teaching a class, one of my colleagues pushed open the door and shouted, “Your practicing Falun Dafa means our school won’t get the Civilization Award. I will not forgive you. Why don’t you give up your cult?” She slammed the door and left.
The students were astonished and started to gossip. I asked them to study by themselves and went to talk to my colleague. I clarified the truth to her and told her that she would be rewarded if she acknowledged Dafa and would be punished if she was involved in the persecution. She accepted what I said and agreed to withdraw from the CCP. I also clarified the truth to the senior managers. I sent forth righteous thoughts more frequently and negated the evil’s persecution. Nobody talked about this incident after that, and our school was still given the “Civilization Award.”
After that incident, I started to clarify the truth to my students. I didn’t dare to before. So I turned the bad thing into a good thing.
I have lived with my daughter for several years. I didn’t dare to clarify the truth on a large scale, because I worried that I might affect her. One day officers from the 610 Office and the State Security Division from my hometown came to the city where my daughter lives. They tried to arrest me, but I had gone back to my hometown thanks to the hint Master had given me. They ordered my daughter to help them find me. They told her to stay in line with the Party. She said, “My mother has freedom of belief. I will not stay in line with the Party. I would rather withdraw my membership from the Party.”
I was no longer concerned about my daughter after that. I started to clarify the truth to anyone that I came across and tried not to miss a single person.
An officer from the Community Center and the police came to harass me. I asked them to come in and clarified the truth to them. They listened carefully and agreed to withdraw from the CCP.
Cultivation is like sailing against the wind. You will retreat if you don’t advance. I will treasure the opportunity to assist Master in rectifying the Fa. I will cultivate diligently and do the three things well during the last leg of the final stage.